Tamawaca Folks. Lyman Frank Baum
the place."
"Sure thing!" responded Geo. B. "Climate's fine. When I first went there I had a bad case of indigestion. Doc said I was as good as dead. Told me to eat toasted straw for breakfast and have my wife get her black ready. Look at me now! Would a crape manufacturer smile at my picture? Pshaw!"
"You seem very well," remarked Jarrod. "Was it the breakfast food, or the climate?"
"Climate, I guess. My taste don't run to breakfast foods. I'd make a poor horse. So I shovelled in plenty of welsh rabbits and lobster newburgs and corn fritters and such remedies, an' washed 'em down with good beer and a few bottles of sherry. Why, sir, the treatment worked like magic! Digestion perfect—pulse reg'lar—spirits gay and unconfined—happiness rampant. That Tamawaca climate's a peach."
"Do you think I can rent a cottage there?"
"Sure. Ask Wilder. He'll fix you."
"Is there a grocery handy, where one can purchase supplies?"
"Yep. Wilder runs it."
"And a meat market?"
"Wilder's."
"Can I rent a good boat, for fishing?"
"Wilder has 'em."
"Good. Dear me! I forgot to get a bathing suit in Chicago."
"Never mind. Wilder's Bazaar has 'em. Two dollars for the dollar kind."
"What time does the boat get to Tamawaca.
"Four o'clock in the morning. But you stay on board and ride to Kochton, and get your sleep out. Then, in the morning you take a trolley back to Tam. The steamer puts your baggage off at Iroquois Bay, just across the channel."
"What becomes of it?"
"Wilder ferries it over for twenty-five cents a piece. It's too far to jump."
"But is n't that a heavy charge?"
"Not for Wilder. It's a good deal, of course, but Wilder's deals are always good—for Wilder. You're lucky he don't take the baggage."
"Oh. Is he that kind?"
"Exactly. What you get, you get of Wilder. What Wilder has n't got, you don't get. When you allow for expenses you want to figure on so many dollars for living, and so much to Wilder for letting you live."
"But that's an outrage."
Geo. B. laughed.
"It always strikes a stranger that way—till he gets used to it," he said. "I've been to a good many summer resorts, in my day, and always there's somebody on hand to relieve the innocent resorter of his wad. If there was n't, you'd feel you'd missed something. It's like going to law—don't matter much which lawyer you go to, you're bound to be robbed."
Jarrod smiled.
"Therefore, if you want Tamawaca, sir, you've just got to take Wilder with it," resumed the little man; "and perhaps you could n't be half so happy there if Wilder was gone."
"Does he own the place?"
"Of course. He and old man Easton. Wilder has one-third and old man Easton two-thirds of the whole place; but then, Easton also has Wilder, just the same as all the rest of us have him."
"What sort of a man is Easton?"
"Fine old religious duffer, who loves to pray for your spiritual well-fare while he feels for your pocket-book. Public opinion's divided between the two partners. Some say Wilder's a highwayman and Easton's a robber, while others claim Easton's the highwayman and Wilder's the robber. You can take your choice."
"What a bad state of affairs!" ejaculated Jarrod, with twinkling eyes. "I'm sorry the boat has started."
"Never mind. It is n't as bad as Atlantic City, by a long shot. Why, last year a friend of mine went to Atlantic City with a letter of credit and an automobile, and in three months he was working at the hotel for money enough to get home and the hotel man was riding in his automobile. Tamawaca isn't as bad as that, so sit up and look pleasant. Tamawaca's the gem of the world—a heaven for loafers, lovers, bridge-players and students of nature—including human. You'll like it there. But as for Wilder and Easton—say! any combination lock on your inside pocket?"
"No."
"Then use a safety pin, and keep your coat buttoned."
Jarrod smiled again. His spirits rose. He scented battle as a cat scents cream. Here was a delightful condition of affairs existing in a tucked-away resort where he was going to spend the summer, and the chances were he would be amply amused. Any capricious manifestation of human nature was sure to charm him, no matter what phase it exhibited, and the man who had for years fought and conquered the terrible Crosbys was not likely to shrink from a pair so frankly enterprising as Easton and Wilder seemed to be. And, if he must put in three long months at Tamawaca, Jarrod simply had to be amused.
He slept well on the boat that night—the first sound sleep he had enjoyed for months.
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