The Collected Works of Anton Chekhov. Anton Chekhov
came here not in order to carry on a polemic with you and to defend my title to fame… .
ZHELTOUKHIN: Now, Misha, let’s stop this talk.
KHROUSCHOV: I’ll finish presently and leave you. Yes, I am petty, but, professor, you too are no eagle. George was petty, who could not devise anything cleverer than to put a bullet in his head. All are petty! And as to the women …
ELENA ANDREYEVNA (interrupting): As to the women, neither are they any bigger. (Advancing towards th,. table.) Elena Andreyevna left her husband, and do you think she will turn her freedom to any good use? Don’t worry… . She will come back… (Sitting down at the table) She has already come back… . (General consternation.)
DYADIN (laughing aloud): That is fascinating! Suspend sentence, gentlemen, and let me say a word. Your Excellency, it is I who carried off your wife, as once upon a time a certain Paris carried off the fair Helen. I! Although there are no pockmarked Parises, yet there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy!
KHROUSCHOV: I can’t make it out. … It is you, Elena Andreyevna?
ELENA ANDREYEVNA: The last fortnight I’ve stayed here with Ilya Uyich… Why do you all look at me so? Well, how do you do? … I sat by the window and heard everything.
(Embracing SONYA.) Let’s be friends! How are you, my dear girl? … Peace and goodwill!
DYADIN (rubbing his hands): That is fascinating!
ELENA ANDREYEVNA (to KHROUSCHOV): Mikhail Lvovich!
(Holding out her hand.) He who remembers the evil past, should lose an eye. How do you do, Fyodor Ivanych? … Julie dear! …
ORLOVSKY: Darling, our glorious Mme Professor, our beauty … she has come back, she has returned again to us! …
ELENA ANDREYEVNA: I missed you all so much. How do you do, Alexander? (holds out her hand to her husband; the latter turns his face away). Alexander!
SEREBRYAKOV: You have violated your duty.
ELENA ANDREYEVNA: Alexander!
SEREBRYAKOV: I shan’t deny I am very glad to see you and am ready to talk to you, but not here, at home… .
(Moving away from the table.)
ORLOVSKY: Alexander! (A pause.)
ELENA ANDREYEVNA: So! … It means, Alexander, our problem is solved quite plainly’: in no way at all. Well, so it must be! I am an episodic character, mine is a canary’s happiness, a woman’s happiness. … To stick all my life long at home, to eat, to drink, to sleep, and every day to hear you talk of your gout, of your rights, of your merits… Why have you all dropped your heads, as if ashamed? Let’s drink the liqueur — let us. Come!
DYADIN: Everything will turn out well, and get better; everything will be right and safe.
FYODOR (coming up to SEREBRYAKOV, in agitation): Alexander Vladimirovich, I am touched. … I pray you, be kind to her, show your wife some tenderness, say one kind word to her, and on the word of an honourable man, all my life long I will be your true friend, I’ll make you a present of my best troika.
SEREBRYAKOV: Thank you, but excuse me, I don’t understand you… .
FYODOR: H’m! … you don’t understand! … Once I was coming back from the hunt and saw a tawny owl sitting on a tree. … I bang a pellet at him! He sits. … I bang at him a number nine … he sits… Nothing moves him. He sits and only blinks his eyes.
SEREBRYAKOV: What does this refer to?
FYODOR: To the tawny owl. (Returning to the table.)
ORLOVSKY (listening): I say, friends … quiet … I think the church bells are ringing a fire alarm somewhere.
FYODOR (noticing the glow): O-o-oh! Look at the sky! What a glow!
ORLOVSKY: Dear souls, and we’re sitting here and missing it all!
DYADIN: Grand!
FYODOR: O-oh! What an illumination! It must be near Alexeyevsk.
KHROUSCHOV: No, Alexeyevsk is more to the right… . It must be Novo-Petrovsk.
JULIE: How terrible! I’m afraid of a fire.
KHROUSCHOV: It’s Novo-Petrovsk for certain.
DYADIN (shouting): Semyon, run to the dyke and have a look where the fire is. You might see it from there.
SEMYON (shouting): It is the Telibeyev forest burning.
DYADIN: What?
SEMYON: The Telibeyev forest.
DYADIN: Forest I … (A long pause.)
KHROUSCHOV: I must go there … to the fire… . Goodbye! … Forgive me, I was harsh, it is because I never felt so depressed as to-day. My soul is in anguish… . But all this is no matter… One must be a man and stand firmly on one’s feet. I shall not shoot myself, nor throw myself under the wheels of the mill. … I may not be a hero, but I will become one! I will grow the wings of an eagle, and neither this glow nor the devil himself shall frighten me! Let forests burn — I will plant new ones! Let me not be loved by one, I will love another! (Rushes off.)
ELENA ANDREYEVNA: What a splendid man!
ORLOVSKY: Yes. …” Let me not be loved by one, I will love another.” How is this to be understood?
SONYA: Take me away from here … I want to go home… .
SEREBRYAKOV: Yes, it’s time to go. It’s dreadfully damp here. My rug and overcoat are somewhere about… .
ZHELTOUKHIN: The rug is in the carriage, and here’s the overcoat. (Handing it to him.)
SONYA (in violent agitation): Take me away from here… Take me away… .
ZHELTOUKHIN: At your service… .
SONYA: No, I will go with godpa. Take me with you, godpa! …
ORLOVSKY: Certainly, my dear soul, come with me.
(Handing her her things.)
ZHELTOUKHIN (aside): Curse it! … Nothing but humiliation and meanness!
(FYODOR and JULIE pack the tea things and serviettes into the basket.)
SEREBRYAKOV: The heel of my left foot is aching. … It must be rheumatism… Again I shan’t sleep all night.
ELENA ANDREYEVNA (buttoning up her husband’s coat): Ilya Ilyich dear, please fetch my hat and cloak from the house.
DYADIN: I will.
(Goes into the house and comes back with her hat and cloak.)
ORLOVSKY: You are frightened at the glow, my dear! Don’t be afraid, it’s growing smaller. The fire is being put out… .
JULIE: There’s half a jar of medlar jam left… Well, let Ilya Ilyich have it. … (To her brother) Lennie dear, take the basket.
ELENA ANDREYEVNA: I’m ready … (To her husband) Well, take me, you statue of the commander, and go to blazes with me in your twenty-six dismal rooms! That’s all I’m good for!
SEREBRYAKOV: Statue of the commander! … I should laugh at this simile, but the pain in my foot prevents me! . .
(To the whole company) Goodbye, friends! I thank you for the entertainment and for your pleasant company. … A superb evening, splendid tea — everything perfect; but, excuse me, there’s one thing I can’t approve of here — your native philosophy and views on life. One must work, gentlemen! Your way is impossible! One must do things… Yes, one must work… Goodbye! [Walks off with his wife.
FYODOR: Come, Julie! (To his father) Goodbye, pater!
[ Walks off with