THE JAMES JOYCE COLLECTION - 5 Books in One Edition. James Joyce
—O yes, said Mr M’Coy, Tenebrae.
—Allow me, said Mr Cunningham positively, it was Lux upon Lux. And Pius IX his predecessor’s motto was Crux upon Crux— that is, Cross upon Cross— to show the difference between their two pontificates.
The inference was allowed. Mr Cunningham continued.
—Pope Leo, you know, was a great scholar and a poet.
—He had a strong face, said Mr Kernan.
—Yes, said Mr Cunningham. He wrote Latin poetry.
—Is that so? said Mr Fogarty.
Mr M’Coy tasted his whisky contentedly and shook his head with a double intention, saying:
—That’s no joke, I can tell you.
—We didn’t learn that, Tom, said Mr Power, following Mr M’Coy’s example, when we went to the penny-a-week school.
—There was many a good man went to the penny-a-week school with a sod of turf under his oxter, said Mr Kernan sententiously. The old system was the best: plain honest education. None of your modern trumpery…
—Quite right, said Mr Power.
—No superfluities, said Mr Fogarty.
He enunciated the word and then drank gravely.
—I remember reading, said Mr Cunningham, that one of Pope Leo’s poems was on the invention of the photograph—in Latin, of course.
—On the photograph! exclaimed Mr Kernan.
—Yes, said Mr Cunningham.
He also drank from his glass.
—Well, you know, said Mr M’Coy, isn’t the photograph wonderful when you come to think of it?
—O, of course, said Mr Power, great minds can see things.
—As the poet says: Great minds are very near to madness, said Mr Fogarty.
Mr Kernan seemed to be troubled in mind. He made an effort to recall the Protestant theology on some thorny points and in the end addressed Mr Cunningham.
—Tell me, Martin, he said. Weren’t some of the Popes—of course, not our present man, or his predecessor, but some of the old Popes—not exactly… you know… up to the knocker?
There was a silence. Mr Cunningham said:
—O, of course, there were some bad lots… But the astonishing thing is this. Not one of them, not the biggest drunkard, not the most… out-and-out ruffian, not one of them ever preached ex cathedra a word of false doctrine. Now isn’t that an astonishing thing?
—That is, said Mr Kernan.
—Yes, because when the Pope speaks ex cathedra, Mr Fogarty explained, he is infallible.
—Yes, said Mr Cunningham.
—O, I know about the infallibility of the Pope. I remember I was younger then… Or was it that— ?
Mr Fogarty interrupted. He took up the bottle and helped the others to a little more. Mr M’Coy, seeing that there was not enough to go round, pleaded that he had not finished his first measure. The others accepted under protest. The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.
—What’s that you were saying, Tom? asked Mr M’Coy.
—Papal infallibility, said Mr Cunningham, that was the greatest scene in the whole history of the Church.
—How was that, Martin? asked Mr Power.
Mr Cunningham held up two thick fingers.
—In the sacred college, you know, of cardinals and archbishops and bishops there were two men who held out against it while the others were all for it. The whole conclave except these two was unanimous. No! They wouldn’t have it!
—Ha! said Mr M’Coy.
—And they were a German cardinal by the name of Dolling… or Dowling… or—
—Dowling was no German, and that’s a sure five, said Mr Power, laughing.
—Well, this great German cardinal, whatever his name was, was one, and the other was John MacHale.
—What? cried Mr Kernan. Is it John of Tuam?
—Are you sure of that now? asked Mr Fogarty dubiously. I thought it was some Italian or American.
—John of Tuam, repeated Mr Cunningham, was the man.
He drank and the other gentlemen followed his lead. Then he resumed:
—There they were at it, all the cardinals and bishops and archbishops from all the ends of the earth and these two fighting dog and devil until at last the Pope himself stood up and declared infallibility a dogma of the Church ex cathedra. On the very moment John MacHale, who had been arguing and arguing against it, stood up and shouted out with the voice of a lion: Credo!
—I believe! said Mr Fogarty.
—Credo! said Mr Cunningham. That showed the faith he had. He submitted the moment the Pope spoke.
—And what about Dowling? asked Mr M’Coy.
—The German cardinal wouldn’t submit. He left the Church.
Mr Cunningham’s words had built up the vast image of the Church in the minds of his hearers. His deep raucous voice had thrilled them as it uttered the word of belief and submission. When Mrs Kernan came into the room, drying her hands, she came into a solemn company. She did not disturb the silence, but leaned over the rail at the foot of the bed.
—I once saw John MacHale, said Mr Kernan, and I’ll never forget it as long as I live.
He turned towards his wife to be confirmed.
—I often told you that?
Mrs Kernan nodded.
—It was at the unveiling of Sir John Gray’s statue. Edmund Dwyer Gray was speaking, blathering away, and here was this old fellow, crabbed-looking old chap, looking at him from under his bushy eyebrows.
Mr Kernan knitted his brows and, lowering his head like an angry bull, glared at his wife.
—God! he exclaimed, resuming his natural face, I never saw such an eye in a man’s head. It was as much as to say: I have you properly taped, my lad. He had an eye like a hawk.
—None of the Grays was any good, said Mr Power.
There was a pause again. Mr Power turned to Mrs Kernan and said with abrupt joviality:
—Well, Mrs Kernan, we’re going to make your man here a good holy pious and God-fearing Roman Catholic.
He swept his arm round the company inclusively.
—We’re all going to make a retreat together and confess our sins—and God knows we want it badly.
—I don’t mind, said Mr Kernan, smiling a little nervously.
Mrs Kernan thought it would be wiser to conceal her satisfaction. So she said:
—I pity the poor priest that has to listen to your tale.
Mr Kernan’s expression changed.
—If he doesn’t like it, he said bluntly, he can… do the other thing. I’ll just tell him my little tale of woe. I’m not such a bad fellow—
Mr Cunningham intervened promptly.
—We’ll all renounce the devil, he said, together, not forgetting his works and pomps.
—Get behind me, Satan! said Mr Fogarty, laughing