Tales of the Old West: B. M. Bower Collection - 45 Titles in One Volume (Illustrated Edition). B. M. Bower
gave him a level look. “No, I wouldn’t. I’d like to put one over on you smart gazabos that think you know it all; but I don’t want to bad enough to see the Flying U go outa business just so I could holler didn’t-I-tell-you. There’s a limit to what I’ll pay for a josh.”
“Well,” put in the Native Son with his easy drawl, “I’m coming to the centre with my ante, just for the sake of seeing the cards turned. Deal ‘em out, amigo; state your case once more, so we can take a good, square look at these dry-farmers.”
“Yeah—go ahead and tell us what’s bustin’ the buttons off your vest,” Cal Emmett invited.
“What’s the use?” Andy argued. “You’d all just raise up on your hind legs and holler your heads off. You wouldn’t DO anything about it—not if you knew it was the truth!” This, of course, was pure guile upon his part.
“Oh, wouldn’t we? I guess, by golly, we’d do as much for the outfit as what you would—and a hull lot more if it come to a show-down.” Slim swallowed the bait.
“Maybe you would, if you could take it out in talking,” snorted Andy. “My chips are in. I’ve got three-hundred-and-twenty acres picked out, up here, and I’m going to file on ‘em before these damned nesters get off the train. Uh course, that won’t be more’n a flea bite—but I can make it interesting for my next door neighbors, anyway; and every flea bite helps to keep a dog moving, yuh know.”
“I’ll go along and use my rights,” Weary offered suddenly and seriously. “That’ll make one section they won’t get, anyway.”
Pink gave him a startled look across the table. “You ain’t going to grab it, are yuh?” he demanded disappointedly.
“I sure am—if it’s three-hundred-and-twenty acres of land you mean. If I don’t, somebody else will.” He sighed humorously. “Next summer you’ll see me hoeing spuds, most likely—if the law says I GOT to.”
“Haw-haw-haw-w!” laughed Big Medicine suddenly. “It’d sure be worth the price, jest to ride up and watch you two marks down on all fours weedin’ onions.” He laughed again with his big, bull-like bellow.
“We don’t have to do anything like that if we don’t want to,” put in Andy Green calmly. “I’ve been reading up on the law. There’s one little joker in it I’ve got by heart. It says that homestead land can be used for grazing purposes if it’s more valuable for pasture than for crops, and that actual grazing will be accepted instead of cultivation—if it is grazing land. So—”
“I betche you can’t prove that,” Happy lack interrupted him. “I never heard of that before—”
“The world’s plumb full of things you never heard of, Happy,” Andy told him witheringly. “I gave Chip my copy of the homestead laws, and a plat of the land up here; soon as he hands ‘em back I can show you in cold print where it says that very identical thing.
“That’s what makes it look good to me, just on general principles,” he went on, his honest, gray eyes taking in the circle of attentive faces. “If the bunch of us could pool our interests and use what rights we got, we can corral about four thousand acres—and we can head off outsiders from grazing in the Badlands, if we take our land right. We’ve been overlooking a bet, and don’t you forget it. We’ve been fooling around, just putting in our time and drawing wages, when we could be owning our own grazing land by now and shipping our own cattle, if we had enough sense to last us overnight.
“A-course, I ain’t crazy about turning nester, myself—but we’ve let things slide till we’ve got to come through or get outa the game. It’s a fact, boys, about them dry-farmers coming in on us. That Minneapolis bunch that the blonde lady works for is sending out a colony of farmers to take up this land between here and the Bear Paws. The lady tipped her hand, not knowing where I ranged and thinking I wouldn’t be interested in anything but her. She’s a real nice lady, too, and goodlooking—but a grafter to her last eye winker. And she hit too close home to suit me, when she named the place where they’re going to dump their colony.”
“Where does the graft come in?” inquired Pink cautiously. “The farmers get the land, don’t they?”
“Sure, they get the land. And they pungle up a good-sized fee to Florence Grace Hallman and her outfit, for locating ‘em. Also there’s side money in it, near as I can find out. They skin the farmers somehow on the fare out here. That’s their business, according to the lady. They prowl around through the government plats till they spot a few thousand acres of land in a chunk; they take a look at it, maybe, and then they boom it like hell, and get them eastern marks hooked—them with money, the lady said. Then they ship a bunch out here, locate ‘em on the land and leave it up to THEM, whether they scratch a living or not. She said they urge the rubes to bring all the stock they can, because there’s plenty of range left. She says they play that up big. You can see for yourself how that’ll work out, around here!”
Pink eyed him attentively, and suddenly his dimples stood deep. “All right, I’m It,” he surrendered.
“It’d be a sin not to fall for a yarn like that, Andy. I expect you made it all up outa your own head, but that’s all right. It’s a pleasure to be fooled by a genius like you. I’ll go raising turnips and cabbages myself.”
“By golly, you couldn’t raise nothing but hell up on that dry bench,” Slim observed ponderously. “There ain’t any water. What’s the use uh talking foolish?”
“They’re going to tackle it, just the same,” Andy pointed out patiently.
“Well, by golly, if you ain’t just lyin’ to hear yourself, that there graftin’ bunch had oughta be strung up!”
“Sure, they had. Nobody’s going to argue about that. But seeing we can’t do that, the next best thing is to beat them to it. If they came out here with their herd of pilgrims and found the land all took up—” Andy smiled hypnotically upon the goggling group.
“Haw-haw-haw-w!” bawled Big Medicine. “It’d be wuth it, by cripes!”
“Yeah—it would, all right. If that talk Andy’s been giving us is straight, about grazing the land instead uh working it—”
“You can mighty quick find out,” Andy retorted. “Go up and ask Chip for them land laws, and that plat. And ask him what he thinks about the deal. You don’t have to take my word for it.” Andy grinned virtuously and pushed back his chair. From their faces, and the remarks they had made, he felt very confident of the ultimate decision. “What about you, Patsy?” he asked suddenly, turning to the bulky, bald German cook who was thumping bread dough in a far corner. “You got any homestead or desert rights you ain’t used?”
“Py cosh, I got all der rights dere iss,” Patsy returned querulously. “I got more rights as you shmartys. I got soldier’s rights mit fightin’. Und py cosh, I use him too if dem fellers coom by us mit der dry farms alreatty!”
“Well, you son-of-a-gun!” Andy smote him elatedly upon a fat shoulder. “What do you know about old Patsy for a dead game sport? By gracious, that makes another three hundred and twenty to the good. Gee, it’s lucky this bunch has gone along turning up their noses at nesters and thinkin’ they couldn’t be real punchers and hold down claims too. If any of us had had sense enough to grab a piece of land and settle down to raise families, we’d be right up against it now. We’d have to set back and watch a bunch of down-east rubes light down on us like flies on spilt molasses, and we couldn’t do a thing.”
“As it is, we’ll all turn nesters for the good of the cause!” finished Pink somewhat cynically, getting up and following Cal and Slim to the door.
“Aw, I betche they’s some ketch to it!” gloomed Happy Jack. “I betche Andy jest wants to see us takin’ up claims on that dry bench, and then set back and laugh at us fer bitin’ on his josh.”
“Well, you’ll have the claims, won’t you. And if you