Vesper Talks to Girls. Laura A. Knott
was St. Paul’s attitude toward the things of the past. “Forgetting the things which are behind, I press forward.” There are, of course, many memories of the past that one would never wish to forget, memories of uplifting associations and of victories over weaknesses that give courage and strength for the future. Along with these, however, there are memories of mistakes and failures now irremediable but which, though they cannot be effaced, can, in a measure, be atoned for by the future. Constantly to look backward with pain and regret only paralyzes one’s energy. The fact that much is expected of you for the future should put you on your mettle and call forth your highest powers.
Your duties and obligations to yourself and to others may, for the most part, be placed in four classes. You have an intellectual life, a moral and spiritual life, a social life, and a physical life. Your problem will be to adjust to one another the various claims upon you from these different sources. This is not an easy task. It is so difficult, that, because of inability to make the adjustment, many make shipwreck of what seemed to be a promising career. Indeed, he is a wise person who at any age has his life so harmoniously balanced that none of these different claims unduly crowd the others. Most of us are more or less one-sided. The best that we can say is that we are working toward the goal of perfect adjustment. Few reach it.
There are in so-called “society,” for example, thousands of women who have so emphasized one side of their nature, the social, that all other sides are dwarfed. Life is one constant round of balls and dinners and social gayeties. What ought to be the spice of life, or its dessert, has become the main dish of the feast. So in school and college there are always some who make social pleasures the main issue, forgetting all higher claims.
We see the exaltation of the physical life in the absurdly exaggerated emphasis placed upon athletics in many of the colleges for men. The tacit insistence upon the supreme importance of these and kindred interests is one of the reasons why scholarship in America is inferior to that in some European countries. Though athletic interests do not often encroach upon scholarly work in our schools and colleges for women, the same cannot be said of other activities, such as dramatics and the manifold phases of social life.
One who cares only for the things of the intellect may be a “clear, cold logic engine,” but he is not of much use as a human being. Sympathy and spiritual vision are beyond his ken. The finer side of his nature remains undeveloped. “He has become a machine,” as Emerson declared, “a thinker, not a man thinking.” The student who is merely a grind is not making the best of his opportunities. In losing all sides of student life but one, he is not even becoming a scholar in any real sense.
It is even possible to place too much emphasis upon the moral and spiritual side of life. This does not mean that one’s own moral standards can be too high, nor does it mean that there is anything else which can weigh for a moment against character. It does mean, however, that one has other obligations besides that of being good. Many a person who has walked the path of duty unflinchingly has lived a narrow and unlovely life.
It will be seen, then, that one of the most difficult lessons the young student will have to learn will be how much time and how much emphasis to give to each of these various provinces of student life.
There are people who regard the physical life as an end in itself and who live only for it. Browning has the right view when he says—
“To man, propose this test—
Thy body at its best,
How far can that project thy soul on its lone way?”
The physical life always should be subordinated to the mental and the spiritual life, yet the body must command our respect because it is the house in which the spirit dwells. “Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, which is in you?” One of your first duties, then, is to take care of your health and to make your body the efficient, ready instrument of your will. You have no more important duty, not only to self, but to others, than to obey the laws of health, the most fundamental of which pertain to exercise, sleep, rest, and food. It is astonishing how few people, especially how few women, there are who do obey these simple laws, the importance of which ought to be apparent to every one. Nature’s disapproval of such disobedience is shown promptly, and the penalty she inflicts is inexorable. If ever I feel inclined to doubt the wisdom of any of Nature’s ways—which I really do not—it is when I see that girls, young, ignorant, and inexperienced, have so important a matter as their health given into their own keeping, though their bad judgment or wilfulness may have consequences so dire! Be willing to deny yourself, to put forth effort, to pay a very high price if need be, for a healthy body.
The desire for social intercourse is natural and right, and the person who shuns the society of others is abnormal; yet social intercourse probably offers, in one form or another, most of the dangers which beset both young women and young men while in school or college. Those who fail ignominiously and are obliged to withdraw, fail, not so often because of lack of ability or insufficient preparation as because they are swept off their feet by the multitude of their new engagements and social activities. The mind is full of a thousand other things and study is deferred until a more convenient season, which never comes. In the college, where comparatively little supervision over students is exercised, this has disastrous consequences, though in the school, with its closer supervision, the student is often saved from himself. It seems hardly necessary to say that your friends and your pleasures must not monopolize your whole life. With the sensible student, work comes first and pleasure afterward. One of the greatest temptations, when you are surrounded by pleasant friends, is to fritter time away. Hours, days, months pass by and leave very little that makes life permanently richer and stronger. Sometimes, indeed, the personality seems almost to disappear, merged in that of others. I have known girls who were miserable if they were left alone for half an hour. The reason is that they have no resources within themselves. They are parasites and derive their sustenance entirely from others. Such a life is not providing itself with the intellectual and spiritual resources which we all need to have at our command, and which should be gained in youth or they are not likely to be gained at all. Be friendly, be sociable, give your love freely, but preserve your own individuality and independence.
In no way do we reveal ourselves more surely than in our choice of companions. Be slow in choosing your nearest and dearest friends. Many a girl has been very unhappy because she rushed impetuously into a friendship from which she afterward had to extricate herself at the cost of great suffering both to herself and to her friend. Take plenty of time in selecting those who are to be your life friends, and remember that here, as everywhere, “All is not gold that glitters.”
The intellectual life above all else distinguishes man from the brute creation. Schools and colleges exist chiefly for the purpose of developing the intellectual life of the young, though one sometimes meets students who would admit the truth of that statement very reluctantly if at all. A well-disciplined and well-furnished mind is one of the chief satisfactions of life. Changing fortune cannot take from us our mental treasure. Its value never diminishes, but increases, and never seems greater than when other things upon which we relied have been snatched from us. If we place reliance upon money, it may take to itself wings and fly away. We cannot be sure of keeping health. Our friends may be taken from us. Is it not the part of wisdom, in looking forward and preparing for what one hopes may be a successful and happy future, to ask what are the “durable satisfactions” of life? These should not be sacrificed for ephemeral pleasures.
The ability to focus a well-trained intelligence upon any problem in hand is one for which we should be willing to pay a high price. Intellectual capacity and a cultivated mind are not acquired without effort, and cannot be secured by merely sitting through lectures or recitations. The student who has a true sense of values will plan her life in so systematic and orderly a way that her use of time will be determined by something more than present inclination. You must remember that in order to have this, you must give up that. One of the hardest things for the inexperienced to learn is that some very good things have to be sacrificed in order that we may not miss better things. All through life this is so, and there is no advantage in deferring the time when it must be learned. To your daily work, then, give your best self, realizing that if you fail in that, you will derive but little comfort from the fact that you have had some success