60 Plays: The George Bernard Shaw Edition (Illustrated). GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
saving, whoever it belongs to. (Richard makes him an ironical bow. Anderson returns the bow humorously.) Come: you’ll have a cup of tea, to prevent you catching cold?
RICHARD. I observe that Mrs. Anderson is not quite so pressing as you are, Pastor.
JUDITH (almost stifled with resentment, which she has been expecting her husband to share and express for her at every insult of Richard’s). You are welcome for my husband’s sake. (She brings the teapot to the fireplace and sets it on the hob.)
RICHARD. I know I am not welcome for my own, madam. (He rises.) But I think I will not break bread here, Minister.
ANDERSON (cheerily). Give me a good reason for that.
RICHARD. Because there is something in you that I respect, and that makes me desire to have you for my enemy.
ANDERSON. That’s well said. On those terms, sir, I will accept your enmity or any man’s. Judith: Mr. Dudgeon will stay to tea. Sit down: it will take a few minutes to draw by the fire. (Richard glances at him with a troubled face; then sits down with his head bent, to hide a convulsive swelling of his throat.) I was just saying to my wife, Mr. Dudgeon, that enmity — (she grasps his hand and looks imploringly at him, doing both with an intensity that checks him at once) Well, well, I mustn’t tell you, I see; but it was nothing that need leave us worse friend — enemies, I mean. Judith is a great enemy of yours.
RICHARD. If all my enemies were like Mrs. Anderson I should be the best Christian in America.
ANDERSON (gratified, patting her hand). You hear that, Judith? Mr. Dudgeon knows how to turn a compliment.
The latch is lifted from without.
JUDITH (starting). Who is that?
Christy comes in.
CHRISTY (stopping and staring at Richard). Oh, are YOU here?
RICHARD. Yes. Begone, you fool: Mrs. Anderson doesn’t want the whole family to tea at once.
CHRISTY (coming further in). Mother’s very ill.
RICHARD. Well, does she want to see ME?
CHRISTY. No.
RICHARD. I thought not.
CHRISTY. She wants to see the minister — at once.
JUDITH (to Anderson). Oh, not before you’ve had some tea.
ANDERSON. I shall enjoy it more when I come back, dear. (He is about to take up his cloak.)
CHRISTY. The rain’s over.
ANDERSON (dropping the cloak and picking up his hat from the fender). Where is your mother, Christy?
CHRISTY. At Uncle Titus’s.
ANDERSON. Have you fetched the doctor?
CHRISTY. No: she didn’t tell me to.
ANDERSON. Go on there at once: I’ll overtake you on his doorstep. (Christy turns to go.) Wait a moment. Your brother must be anxious to know the particulars.
RICHARD. Psha! not I: he doesn’t know; and I don’t care. (Violently.) Be off, you oaf. (Christy runs out. Richard adds, a little shamefacedly) We shall know soon enough.
ANDERSON. Well, perhaps you will let me bring you the news myself. Judith: will you give Mr. Dudgeon his tea, and keep him here until I return?
JUDITH (white and trembling). Must I —
ANDERSON (taking her hands and interrupting her to cover her agitation). My dear: I can depend on you?
JUDITH (with a piteous effort to be worthy of his trust). Yes.
ANDERSON (pressing her hand against his cheek). You will not mind two old people like us, Mr. Dudgeon. (Going.) I shall not say good evening: you will be here when I come back. (He goes out.)
They watch him pass the window, and then look at each other dumbly, quite disconcerted. Richard, noting the quiver of her lips, is the first to pull himself together.
RICHARD. Mrs. Anderson: I am perfectly aware of the nature of your sentiments towards me. I shall not intrude on you. Good evening. (Again he starts for the fireplace to get his coat.)
JUDITH (getting between him and the coat). No, no. Don’t go: please don’t go.
RICHARD (roughly). Why? You don’t want me here.
JUDITH. Yes, I — (wringing her hands in despair) Oh, if I tell you the truth, you will use it to torment me.
RICHARD (indignantly). Torment! What right have you to say that? Do you expect me to stay after that?
JUDITH. I want you to stay; but (suddenly raging at him like an angry child) it is not because I like you.
RICHARD. Indeed!
JUDITH. Yes: I had rather you did go than mistake me about that. I hate and dread you; and my husband knows it. If you are not here when he comes back, he will believe that I disobeyed him and drove you away.
RICHARD (ironically). Whereas, of course, you have really been so kind and hospitable and charming to me that I only want to go away out of mere contrariness, eh?
Judith, unable to bear it, sinks on the chair and bursts into tears.
RICHARD. Stop, stop, stop, I tell you. Don’t do that. (Putting his hand to his breast as if to a wound.) He wrung my heart by being a man. Need you tear it by being a woman? Has he not raised you above my insults, like himself? (She stops crying, and recovers herself somewhat, looking at him with a scared curiosity.) There: that’s right. (Sympathetically.) You’re better now, aren’t you? (He puts his hand encouragingly on her shoulder. She instantly rises haughtily, and stares at him defiantly. He at once drops into his usual sardonic tone.) Ah, that’s better. You are yourself again: so is Richard. Well, shall we go to tea like a quiet respectable couple, and wait for your husband’s return?
JUDITH (rather ashamed of herself). If you please. I — I am sorry to have been so foolish. (She stoops to take up the plate of toast from the fender.)
RICHARD. I am sorry, for your sake, that I am — what I am. Allow me. (He takes the plate from her and goes with it to the table.)
JUDITH (following with the teapot). Will you sit down? (He sits down at the end of the table nearest the press. There is a plate and knife laid there. The other plate is laid near it; but Judith stays at the opposite end of the table, next the fire, and takes her place there, drawing the tray towards her.) Do you take sugar?
RICHARD. No; but plenty of milk. Let me give you some toast. (He puts some on the second plate, and hands it to her, with the knife. The action shows quietly how well he knows that she has avoided her usual place so as to be as far from him as possible.)
JUDITH (consciously). Thanks. (She gives him his tea.) Won’t you help yourself?
RICHARD. Thanks. (He puts a piece of toast on his own plate; and she pours out tea for herself.)
JUDITH (observing that he tastes nothing). Don’t you like it? You are not eating anything.
RICHARD. Neither are you.
JUDITH (nervously). I never care much for my tea. Please don’t mind me.
RICHARD (Looking dreamily round). I am thinking. It is all so strange to me. I can see the beauty and peace of this home: I think I have never been more at rest in my life than at this moment; and yet I know quite well I could never live here. It’s not in my nature, I suppose, to be domesticated. But it’s very beautiful: it’s almost holy. (He muses a moment, and then laughs softly.)
JUDITH (quickly). Why do you laugh?
RICHARD. I was thinking that if any stranger came in here now, he would take us for man and wife.
JUDITH (taking offence). You mean, I suppose, that you are more my age than he is.
RICHARD (staring at this unexpected turn). I never thought of such a thing. (Sardonic