The Price of Things. Glyn Elinor
some of them. Denzil is a beautiful Englishman, but he is not a fool."
A sudden illumination seemed to come into Amaryllis' brain; she felt how limited had been all her thoughts and standpoints in life. She had been willing to drift on without speculation as to the goal to be reached. Indeed, even now, had she any definite goal? She looked at the Russian's strong, rugged face, his inscrutable eyes narrowed and gazing ahead—of what was he thinking? Not stupid, ordinary things—that was certain.
"It is the second evening, amidst the most unlikely surroundings, that you have made me speculate about subjects which never troubled me before. Then you leave me unsatisfied—I want to know—definitely to know!"
"Searcher after wisdom!" and he smiled. "No one can teach another very much. Enlightenment must come from within; we have reached a better stage when we realise that we are units in some vast scheme and responsible for its working, and not only atoms floating hither and thither by chance. Most people have the brains of grasshoppers; they spring from subject to subject, their thoughts are never under control. Their thoughts rule them—it is not they who rule their thoughts."
They were seated comfortably on their sofa, and Verisschenzko leaning forward from his corner, looked straight into her eyes.
"You control your thoughts?" she asked. "Can you really only let them wander where you choose?"
"They very seldom escape me, but I consciously allow them indulgences."
"Such as?"
"Visions—day dreams—which I know ought not to materialise."
Something disturbed her in his regard; it was not easy to meet, so full of magnetic emanation. Amaryllis was conscious that she no longer felt very calm—she longed to know What his dreams could be.
"Yes—but if I told you, you would send me away."
It seemed that he could read her desire. "I shall order myself to be gone presently, because the interest which you cause me to feel would interfere with work which I have to do."
"And your dreams? Tell them first?" she knew that she was playing with fire.
He looked down now, and she saw that he was not going to gratify her curiosity.
"My noblest dream is for the regeneration of a nation—on that I have ordered my thoughts to dwell. For the others, the time is not yet for me to tell you of them—it may never come. Now answer me, have you yet seen your new home, Ardayre?"
"No, but why should you be interested in that? It seems strange that you, a Russian, should even know that there is such a place as Ardayre!"
"Continue—I know that it is a wonderful place, and that your husband loves it more than his life."
Amaryllis pouted slightly.
"He does indeed! Perhaps I shall grow to do so also when I know it; it is the family creed. Sir James—my late father-in-law—was the only exception to this rule."
"You must uphold the idea then, and live to do fine things."
"I will try—if only—" then she paused, she could not say "if only John would be human and unfreeze to me, and love me, and let us go on the road together hand in hand!"
"It is quite useless for a family merely to continue from generation to generation piling up possessions, and narrowing its interests. It must do this for a time to become solid, and then it should take a vaster view, and begin to help the world. Nearly everything is spoiled in all civilisation because of this inability to see beyond the nose, this poor and paltry outlook."
"People rave vaguely," Amaryllis argued, "about one's duty and vast outlooks and those things, but it is difficult to get any one to give concrete advice—what would you advise me to do, for instance?"
"I would advise you first to begin asking yourself the reason of everything, each day, since Pandora's box has been opened for you in any case. 'What caused this? What caused that?' Search for causes—then eradicate the roots, if they are not good, do not waste time on trying to ameliorate the results! Determine as to why you are put into such and such a place, and accomplish what you discover to be the duty of the situation. But how serious we have become! I am not a priest to give you guidance—I am a man fighting a tremendously strong desire to take you in my arms—so come, we will return to the ball room, and I will deliver you to your husband."
Amaryllis rose and stood facing him, her heart was beating fast. "If I try to do well—to climb the straight road of the soul's advancement, will you give me counsel should I need it by the way?"
"Yes, this I will do when I have complete control, but for the moment you are causing me emotions, and I wish to keep you a thing apart—of the spirit. Hermits and saints subdue the flesh by abstinence and fasting; they then become useless to the world. A man can only lead men while he remains a man, with a man's passions, so that he should not fight in this beyond his strength—only he should never sully the wrong thing. Come! Return to the husband—and I shall go for a while to hell."
And presently Amaryllis, standing safely with John, saw Verisschenzko dancing the maddest one-step with Madame Boleski, their undulations outdoing all others in the room!
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