The psycho-analytic study of the family. J. C. Flugel
this reason, it is very frequently possible to trace some kind of resemblance between the loved parent and the new object of affection; though this resemblance may be of very various degrees or kinds. Thus, the new object of affection may bear some resemblance to the parent in one or more of the following points: physical appearance (either general or as regards some special feature), mental characteristics, circumstances of life (both these last again being either general or special), age, name, past history, occupation or family relationship. Sometimes, moreover, the resemblance may be of an opposing or negative kind, the later object of love being markedly different from, or contrasting with, the original object in some one or more of these characters. In the case of a succession of such loved objects, it is not unusual for the resemblance to the original object of affection to become gradually less pronounced, in accordance with a further general characteristic of Displacement, in virtue of which the higher sublimations (i.e., those which imply ends very different from, and of higher cultural value than, the original objects of desire) are only attained slowly and through a number of intermediate steps.
A first step of frequent occurrence and of great importance Parent Substitutes in a large number of cases is the transference of erotic love from the parent to some other member of the family, e.g., brother, sister or (usually at a somewhat later stage of development) cousin. In the first two cases the new choice of object has the additional advantage of tending to abolish the hate or jealousy which, as we saw, is apt to characterise the original attitude towards such members of the family: and this in two ways:—(1) negatively, by removing the cause of the jealousy, since, as the parent is now no longer the sole object of affection, the rival claims of brothers and sisters upon the attention of the parent are no longer felt to be objectionable; (2) positively, by investing the brother or sister with the attributes of lovableness formerly reserved for the parent.
In the same way, the diversion of the erotic tendencies from the parent of the opposite sex removes the principal cause of jealousy and hatred felt towards the parent of the same sex, so that, in the absence of other causes of hostility, this hatred—in itself, as we pointed out, originally in some respects a secondary phenomenon—may give place to the affection which, in their capacity of protectors and benefactors, tends normally to be inspired in some degree by both parents alike. But even in so far as the hate may be primary (due as a rule to frequent thwarting of the child's desires and activities or to bullying, nagging or generally unsympathetic behaviour on the part of the parent in question), it tends to undergo a considerable degree of repression or displacement on its own account, so that after a time the child no longer experiences in consciousness any violent aversion to its parent; such aversion being either confined to the Unconscious or displaced on to other objects in a manner which we shall study later on.
The fact that the first choice of loved object other than The infantile attitude in early love the parent is associatively connected with the original object of love, is shown not only in the nature of the objects selected but also to some extent in the attitude of the child or adolescent towards the objects of his love. In the loves of the young towards persons of the opposite sex, there is usually a strong element of reverence and admiration, a deep feeling of gratitude for any favours that may be received, combined with a sense of the lover's own unworthiness and inferiority; a total attitude very similar to that not unreasonably adopted towards their own parents, to whom they are indebted for the very necessities of life throughout their childhood and to whom they naturally feel themselves to be inferior in knowledge, experience and moral worth. Thus in the early loves of the young boy, the objects of his affection are apt to be regarded as queen-like or semi-divine beings—models of beauty, virtue and wisdom—to whose perfections they themselves (the lovers) can never hope to attain and of whom they must remain for ever to some extent unworthy. Similar elements constitute the most important factors in that tendency to Schwärmerei which so frequently distinguishes the early attachments of young girls[20].
The adoption of this attitude by the young in their early loves is of course often facilitated by the fact that the objects selected are older than the youthful lovers themselves. But this is not a necessary condition. Something of this attitude may indeed persist throughout the love life of the individual, since the exaggeration of the desirable qualities of the loved person, which forms a normal feature of sexual (and probably of all) love, easily brings with it a sense of the relative inferiority of the lover's own self. In the loves of a more mature age, however, this relatively childlike attitude towards the object of love is usually replaced by one in which the lover plays a more active, vigorous and self-reliant part, such as is suitable to a person of fully developed capacity and experience.
Simultaneously with this latter change there goes on a Emancipation from infantile love objects continuance of the process of liberation of the love impulse from its original object. This would seem to take place by a further use of the mechanisms of Repression and Displacement. The love as redirected to the first parent-substitutes after a time itself begins to meet with opposition from other psychic tendencies on account of the too great similarity or the too firm associative connection between the original object and its substitutes. Thus the existence of anything like erotic feeling towards brothers, sisters, or other members of the family or towards persons resembling the parents in age or appearance ceases to be tolerated and at each fresh choice of object the associative link becomes less marked, so that finally it may cease altogether to be traceable. Thus at maturity the individual should, for practical purposes, be free to direct his love towards those who show no resemblance of any kind to the first object of his dawning affection. This may be looked upon as the normal goal of the development of the love impulse in relation to its objects. Any failure to attain this goal must, it would seem, be regarded as constituting to some extent a failure or arrest of development with respect to this highly important aspect of the individual's mental growth.
CHAPTER IV
THE FAMILY AND THE LIFE TASK OF THE INDIVIDUAL
FREUD AND JUNG
In this short sketch of what—from the results of psycho-analytic Non-sexual aspects of Individual development in relation to the family and other investigations—we may regard as the normal development of the individual mind in regard to the family relationships, we have hitherto been concerned more particularly with the sexual emotions and tendencies, using the word sexual in the wide sense current among writers of the psycho-analytic school. This has been the case, partly because in our account we have been largely governed by historical considerations with regard to the actual chronology of recent psychological progress in this field (and it was chiefly the sexual aspects of the family relationships that were first brought to light in the course of this progress); partly also because it is with regard to these sexual aspects that the increase of our knowledge through the application of new psychological methods has been in many ways the most extensive, the most startling and the most difficult to assimilate. The results considered in the last two chapters are of such a nature as to have been for the most part unrealised and unsuspected either by the professional psychologist or by the ordinary student of human nature: they are, indeed, of such a kind as could only be obtained by means of a special technique capable of overcoming the formidable resistances which, as we have seen, are interposed between the conscious and the unconscious levels of the mind.
The positive results of recent research on the psychological influences of the family as regards matters less directly connected with sexuality are of a less unexpected kind, and seem to lie to some extent in the direct path of psychological progress even apart from the introduction of the methods of psycho-analysis. Nevertheless, it is the use of these methods that has given some precision to our knowledge in these respects also, and rendered more certain and definite what before was but vaguely suspected. At this point, therefore, it becomes necessary to review the principal results of psycho-analytic research with regard to these non-sexual aspects of mental development in relation to the family environment.
The treatment of these non-sexual aspects is of special Controversies on this subject difficulty for two reasons. In the first place, these aspects are, in their actual occurrence, intimately bound up with the processes of sexual