The Essential G. B. Shaw: Celebrated Plays, Novels, Personal Letters, Essays & Articles. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
was ever anything so cruel. And he could have finished him quarter of an hour sooner, only he held back to make the market for Ned.” Here Mrs. Skene, overcome, blew her nose before proceeding. “Then, on the top of that, came what passed betwixt you and him, and made him give himself up to the police. Lord Worthington bailed him out; but what with the disgrace and the disappointment, and his time and money thrown away, and the sting of your words, all coming together, he was quite brokenhearted. And now he mopes and frets; and neither me nor Ned nor Fan can get any good of him. They tell me that he won’t be sent to prison; but if he is” — here Mrs. Skene broke down and began to cry—” it will be the death of him, and God forgive those that have brought it about.”
Sorrow always softened Lydia; but tears hardened her again; she had no patience with them.
“And the other man?” she said. “Have you heard anything of him? I suppose he is in some hospital.”
“In hospital!” repeated Mrs. Skene, checking her tears in alarm. “Who?”
“Paradise,” replied Lydia, pronouncing the name reluctantly.
“He in hospital! Why, bless your innocence, miss, I saw him yesterday, looking as well as such an ugly brute could look — not a mark on him, and he bragging what he would have done to Cashel if the police hadn’t come up. He’s a nasty, low fighting man, so he is; and I’m only sorry that our boy demeaned himself to strip with the like of him. I hear that Cashel made a perfect picture of him, and that you saw him. I suppose you were frightened, ma’am, and very naturally, too, not being used to such sights. I have had my Ned brought home to me in that state that I have poured brandy into his eye, thinking it was his mouth; and even Cashel, careful as he is, has been nearly blind for three days. It is not to be expected that they could have all the money for nothing. Don’t let it prey on your mind, miss. If you married — I am only supposing it,” said Mrs. Skene in soothing parenthesis as she saw Lydia shrink from the word— “if you were married to a great surgeon, as you might be without derogation to your high rank, you’d be ready to faint if you saw him cut off a leg or an arm, as he would have to do every day for his livelihood; but you’d be proud of his cleverness in being able to do it. That’s how I feel with regard to Ned. I tell you the truth, ma’am, I shouldn’t like to see him in the ring no more than the lady of an officer in the Guards would like to see her husband in the field of battle running his sword into the poor blacks or into the French; but as it’s his profession, and people think so highly of him for it, I make up my mind to it; and now I take quite an interest in it, particularly as it does nobody any harm. Not that I would have you think that Ned ever took the arm or leg off a man: Lord forbid — or Cashel either. Oh, ma’am, I thank you kindly, and I’m sorry you should have given yourself the trouble.” This referred to the entry of a servant with tea.
“Still,” said Lydia, when they were at leisure to resume the conversation, “I do not quite understand why you have come to me. Personally you are quite welcome; but in what way did you expect to relieve Mr. Byron’s mind by visiting me? Did he ask you to come?”
“He’d have died first. I came down of my own accord, knowing what was the matter with him.”
“And what then?”
Mrs. Skene looked around to satisfy herself that they were alone. Then she leaned towards Lydia, and said in an emphatic whisper,
“Why won’t you marry him, miss?”
“Because I don’t choose, Mrs. Skene,” said Lydia, with perfect goodhumor.
“But consider a little, miss. Where will you ever get such another chance? Only think what a man he is! champion of the world and a gentleman as well. The two things have never happened before, and never will again. I have known lots of champions, but they were not fit company for the like of you. Ned was champion when I married him; and my family thought that I lowered myself in doing it, although I was only a professional dancer on the stage. The men in the ring are common men mostly; and so, though they are the best men in the kingdom, ladies are cut off from their society. But it has been your good luck to take the fancy of one that’s a gentleman. What more could a lady desire? Where will you find his equal in health, strength, good looks, or good manners? As to his character, I can tell you about that. In Melbourne, as you may suppose, all the girls and women were breaking their hearts for his sake. I declare to you that I used to have two or three of them in every evening merely to look at him, and he, poor innocent lad, taking no more notice of them than if they were cabbages. He used to be glad to get away from them by going into the saloon and boxing with the gentlemen; and then they used to peep at him through the door. They never got a wink from him. You were the first, Miss Carew; and, believe me, you will be the last. If there had ever been another he couldn’t have kept it from me; because his disposition is as open as a child’s. And his honesty is beyond everything you can imagine. I have known him to be offered eight hundred pounds to lose a fight that he could only get two hundred by winning, not to mention his chance of getting nothing at all if he lost honestly. You know — for I see you know the world, ma’am — how few men would be proof against such a temptation. There are men high up in their profession — so high that you’d as soon suspect the queen on her throne of selling her country’s battles as them — that fight cross on the sly when it’s made worth their while. My Ned is no low prizefighter, as is well known; but when he let himself be beat by that little Killarney Primrose, and went out and bought a horse and trap next day, what could I think? There, ma’am, I tell you that of my own husband; and I tell you that Cashel never was beaten, although times out of mind it would have paid him better to lose than to win, along of those wicked betting men. Not an angry word have I ever had from him, nor the sign of liquor have I ever seen on him, except once on Ned’s birthday; and then nothing but fun came out of him in his cups, when the truth comes out of all men. Oh, do just think how happy you ought to be, miss, if you would only bring yourself to look at it in the proper light. A gentleman born and bred, champion of the world, sober, honest, spotless as the unborn babe, able to take his own part and yours in any society, and mad in love with you! He thinks you an angel from heaven and so I am sure you are, miss, in your heart. I do assure you that my Fan gets quite put out because she thinks he draws comparisons to her disadvantage. I don’t think you can be so hard to please as to refuse him, miss.”
Lydia leaned back in her chair and looked at Mrs. Skene with a curious expression which soon brightened into an irrepressible smile. Mrs. Skene smiled very slightly in complaisance, but conveyed by her serious brow that what she had said was no laughing matter.
“I must take some time to consider all that you have so eloquently urged,” said Lydia. “I am in earnest, Mrs. Skene; you have produced a great effect upon me. Now let us talk of something else for the present. Your daughter is quite well, I hope.”
“Thank you kindly, ma’am, she enjoys her health.”
“And you also?”
“I am as well as can be expected,” said Mrs. Skene, too fond of commiseration to admit that she was perfectly well.
“You must have a rare sense of security,” said Lydia, watching her, “being happily married to so celebrated a — a professor of boxing as Mr. Skene. Is it not pleasant to have a powerful protector?”
“Ah, miss, you little know,” exclaimed Mrs. Skene, falling into the trap baited by her own grievances, and losing sight of Cashel’s interests. “The fear of his getting into trouble is never off my mind. Ned is quietness itself until he has a drop of drink in him; and then he is like the rest — ready to fight the first that provokes him. And if the police get hold of him he has no chance. There’s no justice for a fighting man. Just let it be said that he’s a professional, and that’s enough for the magistrate; away with him to prison, and good-by to his pupils and his respectability at once. That’s what I live in terror of. And as to being protected, I’d let myself be robbed fifty times over sooner than say a word to him that might bring on a quarrel. Many a time when we were driving home of a night have I overpaid the cabman on the sly, afraid he would grumble and provoke Ned. It’s the drink that does it all. Gentlemen are proud to be seen speaking with him in public; and they come up one after another asking what he’ll