Arthur O'Leary: His Wanderings And Ponderings In Many Lands. Charles James Lever

Arthur O'Leary: His Wanderings And Ponderings In Many Lands - Charles James Lever


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‘Me, why I’m for Killaloe—for the fair tomorrow.’

      “ ‘That’s exactly my destination,’ said I.

      “ ‘And how do you mean to go?’ retorted he, ‘It’s forty miles from here.’

      “ ‘I have a notion,’ replied I, ‘that the dark chesnut there, with the white fetlock, will have the honour of conveying me.’

      “A very peculiar grin, which I did not half admire, was the reply to this speech.

      “ ‘There’s many a one I wouldn’t take under five shillings from, for the day,’ said I; ‘but the times are bad, and somehow I like the look of you. Is it a bargain?’

      “ ‘Faix, I’m half inclined to let you try the same horse,’ said he. ‘It would be teaching you something, any how. Did ye ever hear of the Playboy?’

      “ ‘To be sure I did. Is that he?’

      “He nodded.

      “ ‘And you’re Dan Moone,’ said I.

      “ ‘The same,’ cried he, in astonishment.

      “ ‘Come, Dan, turn about is fair play. I’ll ride the horse for you to-morrow—where you like, and over, what you like—and in reward, you’ll let me mount one of the others as far as Killaloe: we’ll dine together at the cross roads.’—Here I slipped the mutton from under the tail of my coat.—‘Do you say done?’

      “ ‘Get upon the gray pony,’ was the short rejoinder; and the next moment I was seated on the back of as likely a cob as I ever bestrode.

      “My first care was to make myself master of my companion’s character, which I did in a very short time, while affecting to disclose my own, watching, with a sharp eye, how each portion of my history told upon him. I saw that he appreciated, with a true horse-dealer’s ‘onction,’ any thing that smacked of trick or stratagem; in fact, he looked upon all mankind as so many ‘screws,’ he being the cleverest fellow who could detect their imperfections, and unveil their unsoundness. In proportion as I recounted to him the pranks and rogueries of my boyish life, his esteem for me rose higher and higher; and, before the day was over, I had won so much of his confidence, that he told me the peculiar vice and iniquity of every horse he had, describing with great satisfaction the class of purchasers, he had determined to meet with.

      “ ‘There is little Paul there,’ said he, ‘that brown cob, with the cropped ears, there isn’t such a trotter in Ireland; but somehow, though you can see his knees from the saddle when he’s moving, he’ll come slap down with you, as if he was shot, the moment you touch his flank with the spur, and then there’s no getting him up again, till you brush his ear with the whip—the least thing does it—he’s on his legs in a minute, and not a bit the worse of his performance.’

      “Among all the narratives he told, this made the deepest impression on me. That the animal had been taught the accomplishment, there could be no doubt; and I began to puzzle my brain in what way it might best be turned to advantage. It was of great consequence to me to impress my friend at once with a high notion of my powers; and here was an admirable occasion for their exercise, if I only could hit on a plan.

      “The conversation turned on various subjects, and at last, as we neared Killaloe, my companion began to ponder over the most probable mode I could be of service to him, on the following day. It was at last agreed upon, that, on reaching town, I should exchange my Petrucio costume for that of a ‘squireen,’ or half gentleman; and repair to the ordinary at the ‘Green-man,’ where nearly all the buyers put up, and all the talk on sporting matters went forward. This suited me perfectly, I was delighted to perform a new part, particularly when the filling up was left to my own discretion. Before an hour elapsed after our arrival, I saw myself attired in a very imposing suit—blue coat, cords and tops, that would have fitted me for a very high range of character in my late profession. O’Kelly was a name, as Pistol says, ‘of good report,’ and there was no need to change it; so I took my place at the supper-table, among some forty others, comprising a very fair average of the raffs and raps, of the county. The mysteries of horse-flesh, were, of course, the only subject of conversation; and before the punch made its appearance, I astonished the company by the extent of my information, and the acuteness of my remarks.

      “I improvised steeple-chases over impossible countries, invented pedigrees for horses yet unfoaled, and threw out such a fund of anecdote about the ‘turf’ and the ‘chace,’ that I silenced the old established authorities of the place, and a general buzz went round the table of, ‘Who can he be, at all—where did he come from?’

      “As the evening wore apace, my eloquence grew warm—I described my stud and my kennel, told some very curious instances of my hunting experience, and when at last a member of the party, piqued at my monopoly of the conversation, endeavoured to turn my flank by an allusion to grouse-shooting, I stopped him at once, by asserting with vehemence, that no man deserved the name of sportsman who shot over dogs—a sudden silence pervaded the company, while the last speaker turning towards me with a malicious grin, begged to know how I bagged my game, for that, in his county, they were ignorant enough to follow the old method.

      “ ‘With a pony of course,’ said I, finishing my glass.

      “ ‘A pony!’ cried one after the other—how do you mean?’

      “ ‘Why,’ resumed I, ‘that I have a pony sets every species of game, as true as the best pointer that ever ‘stopped.’

      “A hearty roar of laughing followed this declaration, and a less courageous spirit than mine would have feared that all his acquired popularity was in danger.

      “ ‘You have him with you, I suppose,’ said a sly old fellow from the end of the table.

      “ ‘Yes,’ said I carelessly—‘I brought him over here to take a couple of days’ shooting, if there is any to be had.

      “ ‘You would have no objection,’ said another insinuatingly, ‘to let us look at the beast?’

      “ ‘Not the least,’ said I.

      “ ‘Maybe you’d take a bet on it,’ said a third.

      “ ‘I fear I couldn’t,’ said I—‘the thing is too sure—the wager would be an unfair one.’

      “ ‘Oh! as to that,’ cried three or four together, ‘we’ll take our chance, for even if we were to lose, it’s well worth paying for.’

      “The more I expressed my dislike to bet, the more warmly they pressed me, and I could perceive that a general impression was spreading that my pony was about as apocryphal as many of my previous stories.

      “ ‘Ten pounds with you, he doesn’t do it,’ said an old hard-featured squire.

      “ ‘The same from me,’ cried another.

      “ ‘Two to one in fifties,’ shouted a third, until every man at table had proffered his wager, and I gravely called for pen, ink, and paper, and booked them, with all due form.

      “ ‘Now, when is it to come off?’ was the question of some half dozen.

      “ ‘Now, if you like it—the night seems fine.’

      “ ‘No, no,’ said they, laughing, ‘there’s no such hurry as that; to-morrow we are going to draw Westenra’s cover—what do you say if you meet us there, by eight o’clock—and we’ll decide the bet.’

      “ ‘Agreed,’ said I; and shaking hands with the whole party, I folded up my paper, placed it in my pocket, and wished them good night.

      “Sleep was, however, the last thing in my thoughts; repairing to the little public-house where I left my friend Dan, I asked him if he knew any one well acquainted with the country, and who could tell, at a moment, where a hare, or a covey was to be found. “ ‘To be sure,’ said he at once; ‘there’s a boy


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