A Yankee in the Far East. George Hoyt Allen

      Published by Good Press, 2019

       [email protected]

      EAN 4064066219383

Table of Contents

       AUTHOR'S PREFACE

       II "MISSOURI" AND HIS FALSE TEETH

       III WONG LEE—THE HUMAN BELLOWS

       IV HAWAII—AND THE FISHERMAN WHO'D SIGN THE PLEDGE

       V THE UMPIRE WHO GOT A JOB

       VI THE JAPS' FIVE-STORY SKYSCRAPER AND A BASEMENT

       VII JAPANESE GIRLS IN AMERICAN COSTUMES—THEY MAR THE LANDSCAPE

       VIII CEREMONIOUS GRANDMOTHER—"MISSOURI" A HEAVENLY TWIN

       IX USHI, THE RIKISHA MAN

       X MISSIONARIES, TRACTS, AND A JOB WORTH WHILE

       XI YAMAMOTO AND HIGH COST OF LIVING

       XII THE SOLDIER SAID SOMETHING IN CHINESE

       XIII TEN THOUSAND TONS ON A WHEELBARROW AND THE ANANIAS CLUB

       XIV "MISSOURI" MEETS A MISSIONARY

       XV A STO-O-RM AT SEA

       XVI THE ISLANDS "DISCOVERED" BY DEWEY

       XVII WHITE FILIPINOS, AGUINALDO, AND THE BUSY MOTH

       XVIII SINGAPORE—THE HUMORIST'S CLOSE CALL

       XIX THE HINDU GUIDE A SAINT WOULD BE

       XX PENANG—A BIRD, THE FEMALE OF ITS SPECIES, AND THE MANGOSTEEN

       XXI BURMA AND BUDDHA

       XXII BAPTISTS AND BUDDHISM

       XXIII THE RANGOON BUSINESS MAN WHO DROVE HIS SERMON HOME

       XXIV THE GLASS OF ICE WATER THAT JARRED RANGOON

       XXV THE CALCUTTA SACRED BULL AND HIS TWISTED TAIL

       XXVI THE GUIDE WHO WOULDN'T SIT IN "MASTER'S" PRESENCE

       XXVII ROYALTY VS. "TWO CLUCKS AND A GRUNT"

       XXVIII ONE WINK, SIXTEEN CENTS, AND ROYALTY

       XXIX THE ENGLISHMAN AND MARK TWAIN'S JOKE, "THAT'S HOW THEY WASH IN INDIA"

       XXX ENGLISH AS "SHE IS SPOKE" IN INDIA

       XXXI A FIVE DAYS' SAIL AND A MEASLY POEM

       XXXII BEATING THE GAME WITH ONE SHIRT

       XXXIII THROUGH HELL GATE STEERAGE

AUTHOR'S PREFACE

       Table of Contents

      There are so many ways suggested these days by the various periodicals on how to make money at home, it would seem that all ingenuity in that direction must be exhausted; but how to make money abroad seems to me to be almost a virgin field.

      New pastures have always interested me, and if I can add to the sum of human happiness by a wise suggestion, and point the way to satisfy an almost universal longing to see the world—for instance, if I can show how one can make a luxurious world tour and come out ahead of the game while doing it—I shall be only too glad.

      It's no new trick to beat one's way around the world with the hardships attending such an enterprise, but to tell how to do it in ease and luxury surely ought to earn me the gratitude of my fellow-men.

      Get a bunch of pencils and some pads of paper and announce to a waiting editorial world that you are about to take a trip around the globe, and that you propose to write some letters of travel and syndicate them. That, for a consideration, you'll let some good papers print 'em.

      Don't be modest about naming a good round price for the consideration of letting your papers in. Because you'll need the money.

      All editors you'll find are hankering for letters of travel.

      Letters of travel are a novelty. The first editor you call on early in the morning, say about ten o'clock (that's early enough to get to work in this new enterprise I'm tipping you off to—gone is grinding toil and worry—let others moil), this first editor of some big daily (big dailies are the easiest)—don't be timid—brace right up to him, and give him your proposition in a nutshell—easy-like—right off the bat.

      It will be a pleasure to you to watch him brighten up at your offer.

      Managing editors of big dailies are hard-worked men.

      Atlas' job (merely physical) is easy compared with the mental strain and worry the managing editor of a big daily paper is subjected to these days.

      You'll find him feeling the need of something—it's travel dope.

      Don't