Hugo: A Fantasia on Modern Themes. Arnold Bennett
said Mr. Polycarp.
'Ah! … Well, and what is your clients' estimate?'
'Naturally, I cannot pretend—'
'Listen, Mr. Polycarp,' said Hugo, interrupting: 'I will be open with you.'
The lawyer nodded, appreciatively benign. As usual, he kept his thoughts to himself, but he had the air of adding Hugo to the vast collection of human curiosities which he had made during a prolonged professional career.
'My net trading profits last year were £106,000. You are surprised?'
'Somewhat.'
'You expected a higher figure?'
'We did.'
'I knew it. And the figure might be higher if I chose. Only I do things in rather a royal way, you see. I pay my staff five hundred a week more than I need. And I allow myself to be cheated.' He laughed suddenly. 'Costume department, for instance. I send charming costumes out on approval, and fetch them back in two days. And the pretty girls who have taken off the tickets, and worn the garments, and carefully restored the tickets, and lied to my carmen—the pretty girls imagine they have deceived me. They have merely amused me. My detective reports are excellent reading. And, moreover, I like to think that I have helped a pretty girl to make the best of herself.'
'Immoral and unbusinesslike, Mr. Hugo.'
'Admitted. I have no doubt that if I put the screw on all round I could quite justifiably increase my profits by fifty per cent.'
'That shows what a splendid prospect a limited company would have.'
'Yes, doesn't it?' said Hugo joyously.
'But why are your clients so anxious to turn me into a limited company?'
'They see in your undertaking,' replied Polycarp, folding his thin hands, 'a legitimate opening for that joint-stock enterprise which has had such a beneficial effect on England's prosperity.'
'They would make a profit?'
'A reasonable profit. A small syndicate would be formed to buy from you, and that syndicate would sell to a public company. The usual thing.'
'And where do I come in?'
'Where do you come in, my dear Mr. Hugo? Everywhere! You would receive over a million in cash. You would have your salary and your percentage, and you would be relieved of all your present risks.'
'All my present risks?'
'You have risks, Mr. Hugo, because your business has increased so rapidly that your income is out of all proportion to your capital, which consists almost solely of buildings which you could not sell at anything like their cost price in open market, and of goodwill. Now, I ask you, what is goodwill? What is it? Under our scheme you would at once become a millionaire in actual fact.'
'Decidedly an inviting prospect,' said Hugo.
He walked about the room.
'Then I may take it that you are at any rate prepared to negotiate?' the lawyer ventured, staring at the fountain.
'Mr. Polycarp,' answered Hugo, 'I must first give you a little information and ask you a few questions.'
'Certainly.'
Hugo halted in front of Polycarp, close to him, and, lighting a cigar, gazed down at the frigid lawyer.
'Till the age of twenty-eight,' he began, 'I had no object in life. I was educated at Oxford. I narrowly escaped the legal profession. I had a near shave of the Church. I wasted years in aimless travel, waiting for destiny to turn up. I was conscious of no gift except a power for organizing. That gift I felt I had, and gradually I perceived that I would like to be the head of some large and complicated undertaking. I examined the latest developments of modern existence, and came to the conclusion that the direction of a thoroughly up-to-date stores would amuse me as well as anything. So I bought this concern—a flourishing little drapery and furnishing business it was then. I had exactly fifty thousand pounds—not a cent more. I paid twenty-five thousand for the business. It was too much, but when an idea takes me it takes me. I required a fine-sounding name, and I chose Hugo. It was an inspiration.'
'Then Hugo is not your—'
'It is not. My real name is Owen. But think of "Owen" on a flag, and then think of "Hugo" on a flag.'
'Exactly.'
'I began. And because I had everything to learn I lost money at first. I took lessons in my own shop, and the course cost me a hundred a week for some months. But in two years I had proved that my theory of myself was correct. In ten I had made nearly a quarter of a million. Everyone knows the history of my growth.'
Polycarp nodded.
'In the eleventh year I determined to emerge from the chrysalis. I dreamed a dream of my second incarnation as universal tradesman. And the fabric of my dream, Mr. Polycarp, you behold around you.' He waved the cigar. 'It is the most colossal thing of its kind ever known.'
Polycarp nodded again.
'Some people regard it as extravagant. It is. It is meant to be. Hugo's store is only my fun, my device for amusing myself. We have glorious times here, I and my ten managers—my Council of Ten. They know me; I know them. They are well paid; they are artists. A trade spirit must, of course, actuate a trade concern; but above that, controlling that, is another spirit—the spirit which has made this undoubtedly the greatest shop in the world. I cannot describe it, but it exists. All my managers, and even many of the rank and file, feel it.'
'Very interesting,' said the lawyer.
'Mr. Polycarp,' Hugo announced solemnly, 'the direction of this establishment is my life. In the midst of this lovely and interesting organism I enjoy every hour of the day. What else can I want?'
Polycarp raised his eyebrows.
'Do you suppose it would add to my fun to have a million in the bank—I, with an income of two thousand a week? Do you suppose I should find it diverting to be at the beck and call of a board of directors—I, the supreme fount of authority? Do you suppose it would be my delight to consider eternally the interests of a pack of shareholders—I, who consider nothing but my fancy? And, finally, do you suppose it would amuse me, Hugo, to have "limited" put after my name? Me, limited!'
'Then,' said the lawyer slowly, 'I am to understand you are not willing—'
'My friend,' Hugo replied, dropping into his chair, 'I would sooner see the whole blessed place fall like the Bastille than see it "limited."'
Polycarp rose in his turn.
'My clients,' he remarked in a peculiar tone, 'had set their minds on this affair.'
'For once in a way your clients will be disappointed,' said Hugo.
'What do you mean—"for once in a way"?'
'Who are your clients, Mr. Polycarp?'
'Since the offer is rejected, it would be useless to divulge their names.'
'I will tell you, then,' said Hugo. 'Your client—for there is only one—is Louis Ravengar. I saw it stated in a paper the other day that Louis Ravengar had successfully floated thirty-nine companies with a total capitalization of thirty millions. But my scalp will not be added to his collection.'
'I shall not disclose the identity of my clients,' Mr. Polycarp minced. 'But, speaking of Mr. Ravengar, I have noticed that what he wants he gets. The manner in which the United Coal Company, Limited, was brought to flotation by him in the teeth of the opposition of the proprietors was really most interesting.'
'You mean to warn me that there are ways of compelling a private concern to become public and joint-stock?'
'Not at all, Mr. Hugo. I am incapable of such a hint. I am sure that nothing and nobody could force you against your will. I was only mentioning the case of the Coal Company. I could mention others.'