River Legends; Or, Father Thames and Father Rhine. Baron Edward Hugessen Knatchbull-Hugessen Brabourne

      The followers of the great deliverer were visibly staggered by these awful words, more especially as the speaker was nowhere to be seen. Smith himself, however, being perfectly prepared for some such proceeding on the part of his enemy, was not for a moment disconcerted in the smallest degree. By the advice of the powers which had directed and shielded him throughout the whole of his arduous enterprise, he had armed himself with an oaken staff, cut from a sacred tree which grew near to my banks, and which was held in peculiar estimation by the people. This staff, having been dipped in my river, and afterwards heavily tipped with lead, was a weapon of considerable power, and the gallant Smith brandished it on high above his head as he replied to his invisible enemy in the following words:—

      “Boast loud and long, thou villain Boar,

      And trust in dealings magic;

      More humbly shalt thou shortly roar,

      And meet an ending tragic.

      Come forth and try! I thee defy,

      By mighty aid of Druid,

      And this good staff, which lately I

      Have dipt in Thames’s fluid.

      Come forth, I say! No more delay!

      You rascal! what, you won’t stir? I brand thee, in the face of day, A vile and hideous monster! ”

      The words were scarcely out of his mouth, when a horrible noise between a grunt and a roar burst upon the ears of the attacking party, and the Great Boar of Windsor broke from his lair and rushed furiously upon his enemies. His eyes glared like fireballs—his bristles were erect and awful to see—his tusks seemed sharper and more enormous than any one would have supposed possible—and his whole appearance evinced such a mixture of strength and ferocity as might well have caused the stoutest heart to quail before his approach. Fury was in his countenance, and frightful was the expression of his face as he charged headlong down upon Smith, with a force which it seemed impossible to withstand. Uttering his war-cry in the shape of a suppressed but horrid grunt, he held his head low, and was evidently bent upon ripping up the intruder with the least possible delay.

      To be ripped up, however, was by no means Smith’s intention. Springing hastily aside, he dealt the Boar a blow with his staff as he passed in the mad career which he was unable to check. The blow, dealt with the hero’s full force upon the back of the monster’s head, changed his grunt into a squeak of pain, but otherwise had no visible effect upon him. Rendered doubly furious by the failure of his first rush, the Boar now turned upon some of Smith’s companions, upon whom he trusted to have wreaked an easy vengeance. But, with admirable sagacity, Smith had foreseen the possibility of such an occurrence, and, instructed by the toads, had carefully provided against it. Each of his followers who had entered the lair, besides being armed with spears as I have described, had in his hand a short stick upon the end of which was fastened a sausage.

      The order given was, that, if the Boar attacked, this should simply be held out in front of the person in danger, which order you may well believe was faithfully obeyed. The effect was certainly marvellous. At the sight of each sausage the Boar’s powers appeared to fail him, and he turned with a disappointed groan to find another victim. One man, indeed, found the protection useless, and was miserably ripped up and destroyed by the monster. A momentary panic prevailed, but it was fortunately remembered that the luckless individual had brought his own sausage from his own manufactory, and that sundry of his neighbours who had lost their cats had more than once thrown the darkest suspicion upon the character and quality of the article which he supplied. It is therefore probable that the virtue inherent in sausages made from the lawful animal was wanting in his case, and that he perished justly as a deceiver of his fellow-men.

      But the Boar could make no head against a body of men so well prepared for his assault. He foamed at the mouth—he roared—he grunted—he howled—he rushed madly to and fro—but all his efforts were useless. Then once more he turned himself round and rushed with a frantic force upon the leader of his foes. Smith was at that instant standing close to an oak-tree, and so sudden was the Boar’s attack that he had barely time to avoid it by a vigorous spring which he made, catching as he did so a branch above his head, and swinging himself up out of harm’s way.

      The Boar, meanwhile, unable to stop himself, rushed with great force against the tree. To his infinite surprise, and indeed to the astonishment of all who saw it, the hard surface of the oak yielded to his touch, his tusks penetrated the bark, and he remained there firm and fast, caught by the head and held as if by a vice. At the same moment a strain of sweet and solemn music burst upon the ears of those who were present, and from behind the oak-tree stepped the figure of the Priestess Bertha, clad as she had been on the previous occasion of her addressing the people, save that she wore upon her head a wreath of mistletoe, bright and glistening with berries. Walking up to the still struggling Boar, she calmly sat down upon him, just as if he had been a camp-stool, upon which he groaned audibly, but remained perfectly still. Then the Priestess proceeded to speak:—

      “The Boar is vanquished in the fight,

      And ended is his former might.

      Cursed by his yoke no more ye be,

      But Windsor’s children shall be free.

      Yet be ye cautious, firm, and wise,

      Or other foes may still arise,

      And ye may scarcely yet escape

      From boars in brute or human shape.

      Still, good advice I give to you:

      Be honest, loyal, just, and true;

      Drink not the wine that tastes of cork;

      Keep down the pigs by eating pork;

      Love sausages (avoiding shams);

      And don’t forget to cure your hams.

      So, if your lives are good and pure,

      Your happiness shall be secure;

      Windsor to high renown shall soar,

      And ne’er again be spoiled by boar.

      Meanwhile, ’tis time I play my part,

      And banish hence foul magic art!”