A Son of Hagar. Sir Hall Caine
the distant ghylls, swollen by the rain, roared loud through the thin air; a bird on the bough of a fir-tree whistled and chirped. The storm was gone; only its wreckage lay in the still room within.
"A safe journey to you, dear girl, and a speedy return," whispered Paul, and in another moment Greta had vanished in the dark.
When he returned to the hall, his brother was passing into the room where the sick man lay. Paul was about to follow when his mother, who was walking aimlessly to and fro in yet more violent agitation than before, called on him to remain. He turned about and stepped up to her, observing as he did so that Hugh had paused on the threshold, and was regarding them with a steadfast look.
Mrs. Ritson took Paul's hand with a nervous grasp. Her eyes, that bore the marks of recent tears, had the light of wild excitement.
"God be praised that he is conscious at last!" she said.
Paul shook his head as if in censure of his mother's feelings.
"Let him die in peace," he said; "let his soul pass quietly to its rest. Don't vex it now with thoughts of the cares it leaves behind."
Mrs. Ritson let go his hand, and dropped into a chair. A slight shudder passed over her. Paul looked down with a puzzled expression. Then there was a low sobbing. He leaned over his mother and smoothed her hair tenderly.
"Come, let us go in," he said in a broken voice.
Mrs. Ritson rose from her seat and went down on her knees. Her eyes, still wet, but no longer weeping, were raised to heaven.
"Almighty Father, give me strength!" she said beneath her breath, and then more quietly she rose to her feet.
Paul regarded her with increasing perturbation. Something even more serious than he yet knew of was amiss. Hardly knowing why, his heart sunk still deeper.
"What are we doing?" he said, scarcely realizing his own words.
Mrs. Ritson threw herself on his neck.
"Did I not say there was a terrible reason why your father should make a will?"
Paul's voice seemed to die within him.
"What is it, mother?" he asked feebly, not yet gathering the meaning of his fears.
"God knows, I never dreamed it would be my lips that must tell you," said Mrs. Ritson. "Paul, my son, my darling son, you think me a good mother and a pure woman. I am neither. I must confess all—now—and to you. Oh, how your love will turn from me!"
Paul's face turned pale. His eyes gazed into his mother's eyes with a fixed look. The clock ticked audibly. Not another sound broke the silence. At last Paul spoke.
"Speak, mother," he said; "is it something about my father?"
Mrs. Ritson's face fell on to her son's breast. A strong shudder ran over her shoulders, and she sobbed aloud.
"You are not your father's heir," she said; "you were born before we married. … But you will try not to hate me, … your own mother. … You will try, will you not?"
Paul's great frame shook visibly. He tried to speak. His tongue cleaved to his mouth.
"Do you mean that I am—a bastard?" he said in a hoarse whisper.
The word seemed to sting his mother like a poisoned arrow. She clung yet closer about his neck.
"Pity me and love me still, though I have wronged you before God and man. I whom the world thought so pure—I am but a whited sepulcher—a dishonored woman dishonoring her dearest son!"
The door opened gently, and Hugh Ritson stood in the door-way. Neither his brother nor his mother realized his presence. He remained a moment, and then withdrew, leaving the door ajar.
Beneath the two whom he left behind, the world at that moment reeled.
Paul stood with great, wide eyes, that had never tear to soften them, gazing vacantly into the weeping eyes before him. His lips quivered, but he did not speak.
"Paul, speak to me—speak to me—only speak—only let me hear your voice! See, I am at your feet—your mother kneels to you—forgive her as God has forgiven her!"
And loosing her grasp, she flung herself on the ground before him, and covered her face with her hands.
Paul seemed not at first to know what was happening. Then he stooped and raised his mother to her feet.
"Mother, rise up," he said in a strange, hollow tone. "Who am I that I should presume to pardon you? I am your son—you are my mother!"
His vacant eyes gathered a startled expression. He glanced quickly around the room, and said in a deep whisper:
"How many know of this?"
"None besides ourselves."
The frightened look disappeared. In its place came a look of overwhelming agony.
"But I know of it; oh, my God!" he cried; and into the chair from which his mother had risen he fell like a wounded man.
Mrs. Ritson dried her eyes. A strange quiet was coming upon her now. Her voice gathered strength. She laid a hand on the head of her son, who sat before her with buried face.
"Paul," she said, "it is not until now that the day of reckoning has waited for me. When you were a babe, and knew nothing of your mother's grief, I sorrowed over the shame that might yet be yours; and when you grew to be a prattling child, I thought if God would look into your innocent eyes they would purchase grace for both of us."
Paul lifted his head. At that moment of distress God had sent him the gracious gift of tears. His eyes were wet, and looked tenderly at his mother.
"Paul," she continued, quite calmly now, "promise me one thing."
"What is it?" he asked, softly.
"That if your father should not live to make the will that must recognize you as his son, you will never reveal this secret."
Paul rose to his feet. "That is impossible. I cannot promise it," he said.
"Why?"
"Honor and justice require that my brother Hugh, and not I, should be my father's heir—he, at least, must know."
"What honor, and what justice?"
"The honor of a true man—the justice of the law of England."
Mrs. Ritson dropped her head. "So much for your honor," she said. "But what of mine?"
"Mother, what do you mean?"
"That if you allow your younger brother to inherit, the world by that act will be told all—your father's sin, your mother's shame."
Mrs. Ritson raised her hands to her face, and turned aside. Paul stepped up to her and kissed her forehead reverently.
"You are right," he said. "Forgive me—I thought only of myself. The world that loves to tarnish a pure name would like to gloat over your sorrow. That it shall never! Man's law may have been outraged, but God's law is still inviolate. Whatever my birth, I am as much your son in the light of Heaven as Jacob was the son of Isaac, or David of Jesse. Come, let us go to him—he may yet live to acknowledge me."
It had been a terrible moment, but it was past. To live to manhood in ignorance of the dishonor of his birth, and then to learn the truth under the shadow of death—this had been a tragic experience. The love he had borne his father—the reverence he had learned at his mother's knee—to what bitter test had they been put! Had all the past been but as the marble image of a happy life! Was all the future shattered before him! Pshaw! he was the unconscious slave of a superstition—a phantasm, a gingerbread superstition!
And a mightier touch awoke his sensibilities—the touch of nature. Before God at that moment he was his father's son. If the world, or the world's law, said otherwise, then they were of the devil, and deserving to