The Greatest Works of P. G. Wodehouse. P. G. Wodehouse

The Greatest Works of P. G. Wodehouse - P. G. Wodehouse


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Marylebone come down."

      "Just so. An excellent idea. Tell me, Markby, what did you do with the pot of paint when you had finished?"

      "Put it in the bicycle shed, sir."

      "On the floor?"

      "On the floor, sir? No. On the shelf at the far end, with the can of whitening what I use for marking out the wickets, sir."

      "Of course, yes. Quite so. Just as I thought."

      "Do you want it, sir?"

      "No, thank you, Markby, no, thank you. The fact is, somebody who had no business to do so has moved the pot of paint from the shelf to the floor, with the result that it has been kicked over and spilled. You had better get some more tomorrow. Thank you, Markby. That is all I wished to know."

      Mr. Downing walked back to the school thoroughly excited. He was hot on the scent now. The only other possible theories had been tested and successfully exploded. The thing had become simple to a degree. All he had to do was to go to Mr. Outwood's house—the idea of searching a fellow master's house did not appear to him at all a delicate task; somehow one grew unconsciously to feel that Mr. Outwood did not really exist as a man capable of resenting liberties—find the paint-splashed shoe, ascertain its owner, and denounce him to the headmaster. There could be no doubt that a paint-splashed shoe must be in Mr. Outwood's house somewhere. A boy cannot tread in a pool of paint without showing some signs of having done so. It was Sunday, too, so that the shoe would not yet have been cleaned. Yoicks! Also tally-ho! This really was beginning to be something like business.

      Regardless of the heat, the sleuth-hound hurried across to Outwood's as fast as he could walk.

      20

      A CHECK

       Table of Contents

      The only two members of the house not out in the grounds when he arrived were Mike and Psmith. They were standing on the gravel drive in front of the boys' entrance. Mike had a deck chair in one hand and a book in the other. Psmith—for even the greatest minds will sometimes unbend—was wrestling with a Yo-Yo. That is to say, he was trying without success to keep the spool spinning. He smoothed a crease out of his waistcoat and tried again. He had just succeeded in getting the thing to spin when Mr. Downing arrived. The sound of his footsteps disturbed Psmith and brought the effort to nothing.

      "Enough of this spoolery," said he, flinging the spool through the open window of the senior day room. "I was an ass ever to try it. The philosophical mind needs complete repose in its hours of leisure. Hello!"

      He stared after the sleuth-hound, who had just entered the house.

      "What the dickens," said Mike, "does he mean by barging in as if he'd bought the place?"

      "Comrade Downing looks pleased with himself. What brings him around in this direction, I wonder! Still, no matter. The few articles which he may sneak from our study are of inconsiderable value. He is welcome to them. Do you feel inclined to wait awhile till I have fetched a chair and book?"

      "I'll be going on. I shall be under the trees at the far end of the ground."

      "'Tis well. I will be with you in about two ticks."

      Mike walked on toward the field, and Psmith, strolling upstairs to fetch his novel, found Mr. Downing standing in the passage with the air of one who has lost his bearings.

      "A warm afternoon, sir," murmured Psmith courteously, as he passed.

      "Er—Smith!"

      "Sir?"

      "I—er—wish to go round the dormitories."

      It was Psmith's guiding rule in life never to be surprised at anything, so he merely inclined his head gracefully, and said nothing.

      "I should be glad if you would fetch the keys and show me where the rooms are."

      "With acute pleasure, sir," said Psmith. "Or shall I fetch Mr. Outwood, sir?"

      "Do as I tell you Smith," snapped Mr. Downing.

      Psmith said no more, but went down to the matron's room. The matron being out, he abstracted the bunch of keys from her table and rejoined the master.

      "Shall I lead the way, sir?" he asked.

      Mr. Downing nodded.

      "Here, sir," said Psmith, opening the door, "we have Barnes's dormitory. An airy room, constructed on the soundest hygienic principles. Each boy, I understand, has quite a considerable number of cubic feet of air all to himself. It is Mr. Outwood's boast that no boy has ever asked for a cubic foot of air in vain. He argues justly—"

      He broke off abruptly and began to watch the other's maneuvers in silence. Mr. Downing was peering rapidly beneath each bed in turn.

      "Are you looking for Barnes, sir?" inquired Psmith politely. "I think he's out in the field."

      Mr. Downing rose, having examined the last bed, crimson in the face with the exercise.

      "Show me the next dormitory, Smith," he said, panting slightly.

      "This," said Psmith, opening the next door and sinking his voice to an awed whisper, "is where I sleep!"

      Mr. Downing glanced swiftly beneath the three beds.

      "Excuse me, sir," said Psmith, "but are we chasing anything?"

      "Be good enough, Smith," said Mr. Downing with asperity, "to keep your remarks to yourself."

      "I was only wondering sir. Shall I show you the next in order?"

      "Certainly."

      They moved on up the passage.

      Drawing blank at the last dormitory, Mr. Downing paused, baffled. Psmith waited patiently by. An idea struck the master.

      "The studies, Smith," he cried.

      "Aha!" said Psmith. "I beg your pardon, sir. The observation escaped me unawares. The frenzy of the chase is beginning to enter into my blood. Here we have—"

      Mr. Downing stopped short.

      "Is this impertinence studied, Smith?"

      "Ferguson's study, sir? No, sir. That's farther down the passage. This is Barnes's."

      Mr. Downing looked at him closely. Psmith's face was wooden in its gravity. The master snorted suspiciously, then moved on.

      "Whose is this?" he asked, rapping a door.

      "This, sir, is mine and Jackson's."

      "What! Have you a study? You are low down in the school for it."

      "I think, sir, that Mr. Outwood gave it us rather as a testimonial to our general worth than to our proficiency in schoolwork."

      Mr. Downing raked the room with a keen eye. The absence of bars from the window attracted his attention.

      "Have you no bars to your windows here, such as there are in my house?"

      "There appears to be no bar, sir," said Psmith, putting up his eyeglass.

      Mr. Downing was leaning out of the window.

      "A lovely view, is it not, sir?" said Psmith. "The trees, the field, the distant hills …"

      Mr. Downing suddenly started. His eye had been caught by the water pipe at the side of the window. The boy whom Sergeant Collard had seen climbing the pipe must have been making for this study.

      He spun around and met Psmith's blandly inquiring gaze. He looked at Psmith carefully for a moment. No. The boy he had chased last night had not been Psmith. That exquisite's figure and general appearance were unmistakable, even in the dusk.

      "Whom did you say you shared this study with, Smith?"

      "Jackson,


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