Three Plays by Granville-Barker. Granville-Barker Harley
sarah. My good manners are, I trust, irreproachable, and you may tell Sir Charles that my conscience is my own.
mr. tetgeen. Your husband's in the matter of …
sarah. Please say the word.
mr. tetgeen. Pardon me … not upon mere suspicion.
sarah. Now, is it good policy to suspect what is incapable of proof?
mr. tetgeen. I advise Sir Charles, that, should you come to an open fight, he can afford to lose.
sarah. And have I no right to suspicions?
mr. tetgeen. Certainly. Are they of use to you?
sarah. I have been a tolerant wife, expecting toleration.
mr. tetgeen. Sir Charles is anxious to take into consideration any complaints you may have to make against him.
sarah. I complain if he complains of me.
mr. tetgeen. For the first time, I think … formally.
sarah. Why not have come to me?
mr. tetgeen. Sir Charles is busy.
sarah. [Disguising a little spasm of pain.] Shall we get to business?
mr. tetgeen now takes a moment to find his phrase.
mr. tetgeen. I don't know the man's name.
sarah. This, surely, is how you might address a seduced housemaid.
mr. tetgeen. But Sir Charles and he, I understand, have talked the matter over.
The shock of this brings sarah to her feet, white with anger.
sarah. Divorce me.
mr. tetgeen. [Sharply.] Is there ground for it?
sarah. [With a magnificent recovery of self control.] I won't tell you that.
mr. tetgeen. I have said we have no case … that is to say, we don't want one; but any information is a weapon in store.
sarah. You did quite right to insult me.
mr. tetgeen. As a rule I despise such methods.
sarah. It's a lie that they met … those two men?
mr. tetgeen. It may be.
sarah. It must be.
mr. tetgeen. I have Sir Charles's word.
Now he takes from his pocket some notes, putting on his spectacles to read them.
sarah. What's this … a written lecture?
mr. tetgeen. We propose … first: that the present complete severance of conjugal relations shall continue. Secondly: that Lady Cottesham shall be at liberty to remove from South Audley Street and Ringham Castle all personal and private effects, excepting those family jewels which have merely been considered her property. Thirdly: Lady Cottesham shall undertake, formally and in writing not to molest—a legal term—Sir Charles Cottesham. [Her handkerchief has dropped, here he picks it up and restores it to her.] Allow me, my lady.
sarah. I thank you.
mr. tetgeen. [Continuing.] Fourthly: Lady Cottesham shall undertake … etc … not to inhabit or frequent the city and towns of London, Brighthelmstone, Bath, The Tunbridge Wells, and York. Fifthly: Sir Charles Cottesham will, in acknowledgement of the maintenance of this agreement, allow Lady C. the sum of two hundred and fifty pounds per annum, which sum he considers sufficient for the upkeep of a small genteel establishment; use of the house known as Pater House, situate some seventeen miles from the Manor of Barton-le-Street, Yorkshire; coals from the mine adjoining; and from the home farm, milk, butter and eggs. [Then he finds a further note.] Lady Cottesham is not to play cards.
sarah. I am a little fond of play.
mr. tetgeen. There is no question of jointure.
sarah. None. Mr. Tetgeen … I love my husband.
mr. tetgeen. My lady … I will mention it.
sarah. Such a humorous answer to this. No … don't. What is important? Bread and butter … and eggs. Do I take this?
mr. tetgeen. [Handing her the paper.] Please.
sarah. [With the ghost of a smile.] I take it badly.
mr. tetgeen. [Courteously capping her jest.] I take my leave.
sarah. This doesn't call for serious notice? I've done nothing legal by accepting it?
mr. tetgeen. There's no law in the matter; it's one of policy.
sarah. I might bargain for a bigger income. [mr. tetgeen bows.] On the whole I'd rather be divorced.
mr. tetgeen. Sir Charles detests scandal.
sarah. Besides there's no case … is there?
mr. tetgeen. Sir Charles congratulates himself.
sarah. Sir Charles had best not bully me so politely … tell him.
mr. tetgeen. My lady!
sarah. I will not discuss this impertinence. Did those two men meet and talk … chat together? What d'you think of that?
mr. tetgeen. 'Twas very practical. I know that the woman is somehow the outcast.
sarah. A bad woman … an idle woman! But I've tried to do so much that lay to my hands without ever questioning … ! Thank you, I don't want this retailed to my husband. You'll take a glass of wine before you go?
mr. tetgeen. Port is grateful.
She takes from her dress two sealed letters.
sarah. Will you give that to Sir Charles … a letter he wrote me which I did not open. This, my answer, which I did not send.
He takes the one letter courteously, the other she puts back.
sarah. I'm such a coward, Mr. Tetgeen.
mr. tetgeen. May I say how sorry … ?
sarah. Thank you.
mr. tetgeen. And let me apologise for having expressed one opinion of my own.
sarah. He wants to get rid of me. He's a bit afraid of me, you know, because I fight … and my weapons are all my own. This'll blow over.
mr. tetgeen. [With a shake of the head.] You are to take this offer as final.
sarah. Beyond this?
mr. tetgeen. As I hinted, I am prepared to advise legal measures.
sarah. I could blow it over … but I won't perhaps. I must smile at my husband's consideration in suppressing even to you … the man's name. Butter and eggs … and milk. I should grow fat.
ann appears suddenly.
ann. We go to Brighton to-morrow! [And she comes excitedly to her sister.]
sarah. Was that duel a stroke of genius?
ann. All sorts of things are to happen.
sarah. [Turning from her to mr. tetgeen.] And you'll walk as far as Reading?
mr. tetgeen. Dear me, yes.
sarah. [To ann.] I'll come back.
sarah takes mr. tetgeen towards the house. ann seats herself. After a moment lord john carp, his clothes dusty with some riding appears from the other quarter. She looks up to find him gazing at her.
lord john. Ann, I've ridden back to see you.
ann. [After a moment.] We're coming to Brighton to-morrow.
lord john. Good.
ann. Papa's not dead.
lord