Wee Willie Winkie, and other stories. Редьярд Джозеф Киплинг

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      Wee Willie Winkie

       Table of Contents

      WEE WILLIE WINKIE.

      "An officer and a gentleman."

      HIS full name was Percival William Williams, but he picked up the other name in a nursery book, and that was the end of the christened titles. His mother's ayah called him Willie-Baba, but as he never paid the faintest attention to anything that the ayah said, her wisdom did not help matters.

      His father was the Colonel of the 195th, and as soon as Wee Willie Winkie was old enough to understand what Military Discipline meant, Colonel Williams put him under it. There was no other way of managing the child. When he was good for a week, he drew good-conduct pay; and when he was bad, he was deprived of his good-conduct stripe. Generally he was bad, for India offers so many chances to little six-year-olds of going wrong.

      Children resent familiarity from strangers, and Wee Willie Winkie was a very particular child. Once he accepted an acquaintance he was graciously pleased to thaw. He accepted Brandis, a subaltern of the 195th, on sight. Brandis was having tea at the Colonel's, and Wee Willie Winkie entered strong in the possession of a good-conduct badge won for not chasing the hens round the compound. He regarded Brandis with gravity for at least ten minutes, and then delivered himself of his opinion.

      "I like you," said he, slowly, getting off his chair and coming over to Brandis. "I like you. I shall call you Coppy, because of your hair. Do you mind being called Coppy? It is because of ve hair, you know."

      Here was one of the most embarrassing of Wee Willie Winkie's peculiarities. He would look at a stranger for some time, and then, without warning or explanation, would give ​him a name. And the name stuck. No regimental penalties could break Wee Willie Winkle of this habit. He lost his good-conduct badge for christening the Commissioner's wife "Pobs"; but nothing that the Colonel could do made the Station forego the nickname, and Mrs. Collen remained "Mrs. Pobs" till the end of her stay. So Brandis was christened "Coppy," and rose therefore, in the estimation of the regiment.

      If Wee Willie Winkie took an interest in any one, the fortunate man was envied alike by the Mess and the rank and file. And in their envy lay no suspicion of self-interest. "The Colonel's son" was idolised on his own merits entirely. Yet Wee Willie Winkie was not lovely. His face was permanently freckled, as his legs were permanently scratched, and in spite of his mother's almost tearful remonstrances he had insisted upon having his long yellow locks cut short in the military fashion. "I want my hair like Sergeant Tummil's said Wee Willie Winkie, and, his father abetting, the sacrifice was accomplished.

      Three weeks after the bestowal of his youthful affections on Lieutenant Brandis—henceforward to be called "Coppy" for the sake of brevity—Wee Willie Winkie was destined to behold strange things and far beyond his comprehension.

      Coppy returned his liking with interest. Coppy had let him wear for five rapturous minutes his own big sword—just as tall as Wee Willie Winkie. Coppy had promised him a terrier puppy; and Coppy had permitted him to witness the miraculous operation of shaving. Nay, more—Coppy had said that even he, Wee Willie Winkie, would rise in time to the ownership of a box of shiny knives, a silver soap-box and a silver-handled "sputter-brush," as Wee Willie Winkie called it. Decidedly, there was no one, except his father who could give or take away good conduct badges at pleasure, half so wise, strong and valiant as Coppy with the Afghan and Egyptian medals on his breast. Why, then, should Coppy be guilty of the unmanly weakness of kissing—vehemently kissing—a "big girl," Miss Allardyce to wit? In the course ​of a morning ride, Wee Willie Winkie had seen Coppy so doing, and like the gentleman he was, had promptly wheeled round and cantered back to his sais, lest the sais should also see.

      Under ordinary circumstances he would have spoken to his father, but he felt instinctively that this was a matter on which Coppy ought first to be consulted.

      "Coppy," shouted Wee Willie Winkie, reining up outside that subaltern's bungalow early one morning—"I want to see you, Coppy."

      "Come in, young 'un," returned Coppy, who was at early breakfast in the midst of his dogs. "What mischief have you been getting into now?"

      Wee Willie Winkie had done nothing notoriously bad for three days, and so stood on a pinnacle of virtue.

      "I've been doing nothing bad," said he, curling himself into a long chair with a studious affectation of the Colonel's languor after a hot parade. He buried his freckled nose in a tea-cup and, with eyes staring roundly over the rim, asked:—"I say, Coppy, is it pwoper to kiss big girls?"

      "By Jove! You're beginning early. Who do you want to kiss?"

      "No one. My muvver's always kissing me if I don't stop her. If it isn't pwoper, how was you kissing Major Allardyce's big girl last morning, by ve canal?"

      Coppy's brow wrinkled. He and Miss Allardyce had with great craft managed to keep their engagement secret for a fortnight. There were urgent and imperative reasons why Major Allardyce should not know how matters stood for at least another month, and this small marplot had discovered a great deal too much.

      "I saw you," said Wee Willie Winkie calmly. "But ve sais didn't see. I said, 'Hut jao.'"

      "Oh, you had that much sense, had you, you young Rip," groaned poor Coppy, half amused and half angry. "And how many people may you have told about it?"

      ​"Only me, myself. You didn't tell when I twied to wide ve buffalo ven my pony was lame; and I fought you wouldn't like,"

      "Winkie," said Coppy, enthusiastically, shaking the small hand, "you're the best of good fellows. Look here, you can't understand all these things. One of these days—hang it, how can I make you see it!—I'm going to marry Miss Allardyce, and then she'll be Mrs. Coppy, as you say. If your young mind is so scandalised at the idea of kissing big girls, go and tell your father."

      "What will happen?" said Wee Willie Winkie, who firmly believed that his father was omnipotent

      "I shall get into trouble," said Coppy, playing his trump card with an appealing look at the holder of the ace.

      Ven I won't," said Wee Willie Winkie briefly. "But my faver says its un-man-ly to be always kissing, and I didn't fink you'd do vat, Coppy."

      I'm not always kissing, old chap. It's only now and then, and when you're bigger you'll do it too. Your father meant it's not good for little boys."

      "Ah! "said Wee Willie Winkie, now fully enlightened. "It's like ve sputter-brush?"

      "Exactly," said Coppy gravely.

      "But