The Principles and Practices of Seduction. Emily Hahn
Surely your intelligence tells you that a well-rounded personality. …
She: But I told you; I don’t want to experiment!
You: I can’t believe that you are in a position to judge. You don’t really know what you want; you don’t know what to want. I don’t believe you for a minute when you say you are happy. Lovely, yes; but lovely in a melancholy way. How can you know about yourself, you wise child? Tell me, are you always so serene?
She: You’re getting much too serious. Let’s dance.
You: I don’t want to dance with you just now. I think you’re trying to run away from me as you have always run away from questions. Do you know, you’re a most deceptive person. When I met you, I said to myself, “She is sensitive,” but I never thought of you as being beautiful. I’m being frank, do you mind? But I see now that you are. I see that you are rarely beautiful, but that you do not wish to be. Isn’t that true?
She: Why no, of course not. I don’t understand it all.
You: It’s just this, and I don’t care whether or not I offend you. In fact, I hope I do. Someone ought to offend you now and then. You’re committing a crime, not only against us but against yourself. If I had my way—and I’m not being selfish, either—
She (blazing): As though any of you weren’t selfish!
You: What?
She: I’m so tired of it all. Don’t you think I hear something like this every day of my life? All of you working for yourselves, arguing for yourselves, talking eternally about the same thing. I can’t stand any more of it. I’m sick of it.
You (gravely): I beg your pardon, but you’re not being quite polite, are you? You’re a bit unjust.
She: Perhaps I’m rather excited. Sorry.
You: Perhaps not. This is the result of a long silence, isn’t it? You have never spoken like this before?
She: Yes, that’s it.
You (leaning forward): My dear, if I’ve said anything. …
She (faintly): No, it’s nothing. Tell me, how can you—all of you—be so cold blooded and unfastidious at the same time?
You: Oh, but you are wrong. I’m sure that as a rule we are more fastidious than you could possibly know. I’m sorry that I’ve disturbed you—Check, please! I’m going to take you home.
She: No, I was foolish. You’re right. I’m sure you’re right. But I couldn’t help it. Have I hurt you?
You: Let’s forget it all. Let’s go somewhere and talk about other things. (You rise and start to the door.) I didn’t want to spoil the evening, much as you seemed to think so. Should we go to my place and look at the print I just bought? It’s so early to take you home.
She: Yes, that would be nice.
You: There, you see; I’ve done you an injustice. You’re quite human underneath it all. Probably someone has hurt you, and you won’t tell me about it. I think, my dear, that you have a very great capacity for living. Let’s take one with the top down. TAXI!!
2. JUST ANOTHER LITTLE ONE
TYPE:
Virile, young, simple. A man who does not waste time on philosophical reflections; who knows what he wants and stops at nothing but sacrifice to get it.
SUBJECT:
Very young, semi-sophisticated. That is, she has been warned but not insulated.
APPARATUS:
1 Victrola
1 Radio
1 Bottle Scotch
1 Automobile
1 House—Anybody’s
1 Party
REMARKS:
The inclusion in the collection of this lesson is accompanied by some misgivings on my part. It is a method of which we do not approve. The true seduction does not depend upon mechanical devices such as alcohol. I counsel my students to save this method until all else fails, for it leads to a slackness and a lazy attitude toward the work. Moreover, it is against the law in this country to buy liquor or to carry it around.
JUST ANOTHER LITTLE ONE
1. The introduction. Give everyone full notice, but when her name is mentioned, employ the personal touch in your bow—the lingering glance shading off in friendly admiration.
2. Wait half an hour, perhaps employing the time with a drink. Dance with everyone else and be looking at her twice when she glances your way.
3. Suddenly walking over to her, you should look accusingly at the half-full glass in her hand.
“You don’t mean to tell me that’s your first?”
“Yes.”
“Say, who are you anyway? Have I ever seen you around?”
“No, Joe and Edna brought me. I don’t know anyone here very well.”
“Who’s Joe?”
“The little fellow over there.”
“Your heavy?”
“Silly! No, of course not. He and Edna just got married. That’s why they’re having this party, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. I was invited, that’s all I know. Well, see you later.”
Get up and go away at this point; too much at first is too much.
4. Soon after this it is likely that the lady will finish her glass mechanically; and the next one will go down with more alacrity. Keep an eye on her, and when she has finished the second one come back and ask her to dance. If you are a good dancer the whole thing is easier, but so few of you are.
Put her down when it is over, smile at her politely and go away again. This mystifies her.
5. Two drinks later. Don’t drink too much; this requires as much concentration as any other business. It’s time now to focus the attack.
After two or three dances the room seems uncomfortably warm, and now that she is accustomed to being monopolized she won’t be averse to stepping outdoors with you to get cool. Any car will do if it is unoccupied.
There will be a slightly awkward pause; breathless and afraid on her part. Then she realizes that your intentions are all right and she is ashamed of her own suspicions.
“My, but it must have been warm in there,” she says. “I didn’t realize it. What a lovely night!”
“Yeah, the gang’s crazy to stay indoors in this weather. … Say, what do you do all the time? I haven’t seen you around.”
“Well, I haven’t been in town very long. I’m visiting Edna.”
“Having a good time?”
“Oh, yes. Everyone’s been so nice to me.”
“Naturally they would be, to you. I guess you have a pretty good time wherever you go.”
“Aw, that’s an old one!”
“You don’t swallow everything you hear, do you? Well, that’s right.” … a burst of music comes through the window … “Say, I’ve got a drink or two here. Want one?”
“Oh no—I’ve had enough. But you go right ahead.”
“Nope, I don’t drink without company.”
“Well—just