Dolly Reforming Herself. Henry Arthur Jones
[Looking round, his eye falls on Renie and Lucas who, at the beginning of the above conversation have gone into conservatory at lower door, and now come out again at upper door. She has a hot-house flower in her hand, and they are eagerly absorbed in their conversation. The Professor talking to Harry and not noticing.
Renie. [Becoming aware that Matt is watching them.] Yes, that arrangement of the stamens is quite unusual. It's what the gardener calls a "sport"——
Lucas. [Examining the flower.] Jolly good sport, too!
Matt. I'm not sure that we haven't even better sport here——
Renie. [Coming to him.] Sport? What sport? Can we join?
Matt. That's just what I was going to propose. There are four of you here, who heard Mr. Pilcher's excellent discourse last night. And you are all determined to turn over a new leaf this year. Isn't that so?
Dolly. Yes!
Harry. I know I am.
Matt. Mrs. Sturgess?
Renie. Yes, indeed!
Matt. Lucas, you?
Lucas. Yes, Uncle.
Matt. On the first of January next, I am prepared to put a sovereign in that money-box for every one of you who can honestly declare that he has broken himself or herself of his bad habits during the year.
Lucas. I say, not all our bad habits?
Matt. H'm. I don't wish to be exacting—I've no doubt each of you has his own little failing or weakness. Well, come to me and say on your honour that you've conquered this or that pet special weakness—and in goes my sovereign.
Lucas. You don't really mean it?
Matt. Indeed I do. I hope you won't stand out and—spoil sport, eh?
Lucas. Oh, I don't mind coming in—just for the lark of the thing.
Matt. Then you all agree?
Dolly. Oh yes.
Harry. Certainly.
Matt. Mrs. Sturgess?
Renie. We don't know where we may be next Christmas.
Dolly. You'll be here with us. I invite you on the spot. You accept?
Renie. Yes, delighted, if my husband——
Prof. Very pleased.
Matt. Well, Mr. Pilcher, I think I've made your Blanket Club a very handsome offer.
Pilcher. Very handsome. [Taking out watch.] I hope our friends will cordially respond, for the sake of my Blanket Club.
Dolly. You'll stay for a cup of tea?
Pilcher. I've heaps of New Year's calls to make. I'm afraid I must be going; good afternoon, Professor!
Prof. Good afternoon.
Pilcher. Good afternoon, Telfer.
Harry. Good afternoon.
Pilcher. Good-bye, Mrs. Sturgess.
Renie. Good-bye. So many thanks for your eloquent sermon.
[Shaking hands.
Pitcher. Now, was I eloquent? I suppose I was, since I've produced such an invigorating New Year atmosphere.
[Renie moves her French novel.
Matt. And brought Lucas over from Aldershot in the snow!
Lucas. Rather! I shall come again next year.
[Shaking hands.
Pilcher. Do. And then we shall be able to estimate the effect of my eloquence.
Matt. [Tapping the money-box.] We shall!
Pilcher. Good-bye, Mrs. Telfer.
Dolly. Good-bye. [Rings bell.
Pilcher. Good-bye, Mr. Barron.
Matt. Good-bye.
Pilcher. You might be inclined to risk a sovereign on yourself for the Blanket Club?
Matt. I daren't. I can't trust my gray matter—I should make a dreadful fiasco.
[Criddle appears at door.
Pilcher. Mrs. Telfer, I leave him in your hands.
[Exit Pilcher. Criddle closes the door after him.
Matt. Dolly, I don't mind having that new Parisian hat on with you.
Dolly. Done! I don't mind how much I punish you.
Prof. [Taking out his watch.] Half past three, my dear.
Renie. I don't think I'll go out this afternoon.
Prof. Oh, you'd better take your little constitutional. You missed it yesterday. I'm sure your restlessness is due to your not taking regular exercise.
Renie. Which way are you going? [Yawning.
Prof. My usual round, up to the White House and back by the fish-pond.
Renie. Perhaps I'll join you at the fish-pond.
Prof. [To Matt.] Nothing like living by rule and measure.
Matt. I shouldn't wonder. I've never tried it.
Prof. I ascribe my constant good health and contentment to my unvarying routine of work and diet and exercise. [Exit.
Matt. Then where do my constant good health and contentment come from?
Lucas. Dolly, I left my evening kit here. Could you put me up for the night?
Dolly. Delighted! You'll make up our rubber.
Lucas. Right!
Matt. Not going to ride back to Aldershot again to-night?
Lucas. Not to-night, thank you.
Matt. Just a shade too bracing, eh?
Lucas. Just a shade! Dolly, I haven't seen your new fish-pond. Is anybody going to meet the Professor?
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