The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love. Emanuel Swedenborg
V. IF THEY CAN LIVE TOGETHER, THEY REMAIN MARRIED PARTNERS; BUT IF THEY CANNOT, THEY SEPARATE; SOMETIMES THE HUSBAND FROM THE WIFE, SOMETIMES THE WIFE FROM THE HUSBAND, AND SOMETIMES EACH FROM THE OTHER. The reason why separations take place after death is, because the conjunctions which are made on earth are seldom made from any internal perception of love, but from an external perception, which hides the internal. The external perception of love originates in such things as regard the love of the world and of the body. Wealth and large possessions are peculiarly the objects of worldly love, while dignities and honors are those of the love of the body: besides these objects, there are also various enticing allurements, such as beauty and an external polish of manners, and sometimes even an unchasteness of character. Moreover, matrimonial engagements are frequently contracted within the particular district, city, or village, in which the parties were born, and where they live; in which case the choice is confined and limited to families that are known, and to such as are in similar circumstances in life: hence matrimonial connections made in the world are for the most part external, and not at the same time internal; when yet it is the internal conjunction, or the conjunction of souls, which constitutes a real marriage; and this conjunction is not perceivable until the man puts off the external and puts on the internal; as is the case after death. This then is the reason why separations take place, and afterwards new conjunctions are formed with such as are of a similar nature and disposition; unless these conjunctions have been provided on earth, as happens with those who from an early age have loved, have desired, and have asked of the Lord an honorable and lovely connection with one of the sex, shunning and abominating the impulses of a loose and wandering lust.
50. VI. IN THIS CASE THERE IS GIVEN TO THE MAN A SUITABLE WIFE, AND TO THE WOMAN A SUITABLE HUSBAND. The reason of this is, because no married partners can be received into heaven, so as to remain there, but such as have been interiorly united, or as are capable of being so united; for in heaven two married partners are not called two, but one angel; this is understood by the Lord's words "They are no longer two, but one flesh." The reason why no other married partners are there received is, because in heaven no others can live together in one house, and in one chamber and bed; for all in the heavens are associated according to the affinities and relationships of love, and have their habitations accordingly. In the spiritual world there are not spaces, but the appearance of spaces; and these appearances are according to the states of life of the inhabitants, which are according to their states of love; therefore in that world no one can dwell but in his own house, which is provided for him and assigned to him according to the quality of his love: if he dwells in any other, he is straitened and pained in his breast and breathing; and it is impossible for two to dwell together in the same house unless they are likenesses; neither can married partners so dwell together, unless they are mutual inclinations; if they are external inclinations, and not at the same time internal, the very house or place itself separates, and rejects and expels them. This is the reason why for those who after preparation are introduced into heaven, there is provided a marriage with a consort whose soul inclines to mutual union with the soul of another, so that they no longer wish to be two lives, but one. This is the reason why after separation there is given to the man a suitable wife and to the woman in like manner a suitable husband.
51. VII. MARRIED PAIRS ENJOY SIMILAR COMMUNICATIONS WITH EACH OTHER AS IN THE WORLD, BUT MORE DELIGHTFUL AND BLESSED, YET WITHOUT PROLIFICATION; IN THE PLACE OF WHICH THEY EXPERIENCE SPIRITUAL PROLIFICATION, WHICH IS THAT OF LOVE AND WISDOM. The reason why married pairs enjoy similar communications as in the world, is, because after death a male is a male, and a female a female, and there is implanted in each at creation an inclination to conjunction; and this inclination with man is the inclination of his spirit and thence of his body; therefore after death, when a man becomes a spirit, the same mutual inclination remains, and this cannot exist without similar communications; for after death a man is a man as before; neither is there any thing wanting either in the male or in the female: as to form they are like themselves, and also as to affections and thoughts; and what must be the necessary consequence, but that they must enjoy like communications? And as conjugial love is chaste, pure, and holy, therefore their communications are ample and complete; but on this subject see what was said in the MEMORABLE RELATION, n. 44. The reason why such communications are more delightful and blessed than in the world, is, because conjugial love, as it is the love of the spirit, becomes interior and purer, and thereby more perceivable; and every delight increases according to perception, and to such a degree that its blessedness is discernible in its delight.
52. The reason why marriages in the heavens are without prolification, and that in place thereof there is experienced spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom, is, because with the inhabitants of the spiritual world, the third principle—the natural, is wanting; and it is this which contains the spiritual principles; and these without that which contains them have no consistence, like the productions of the natural world: moreover spiritual principles, considered in themselves, have relation to love and wisdom; therefore love and wisdom are the births produced from marriages in the heavens. These are called births, because conjugial love perfects an angel, uniting him with his consort, in consequence whereof he becomes more and more a man (homo) for, as was said above, two married partners in heaven are not two but one angel; wherefore by conjugial unition they fill themselves with the human principle, which consists in desiring to grow wise, and in loving whatever relates to wisdom.
53. VIII. THIS IS THE CASE WITH THOSE WHO GO TO HEAVEN; BUT IT IS OTHERWISE WITH THOSE WHO GO TO HELL. That after death a suitable wife is given to a husband, and a suitable husband to a wife, and that they enjoy delightful and blessed communications, but without prolification, except of a spiritual kind, is to be understood of those who are received into heaven and become angels; because such are spiritual, and marriages in themselves are spiritual and thence holy: but with respect to those who go to hell, they are all natural; and marriages merely natural are not marriages, but conjunctions which originate in unchaste lust. The nature and quality of such conjunctions will be shewn in the following pages, when we come to treat of the chaste and the unchaste principles, and further when we come to treat of adulterous love.
54. To what has been above related concerning the state of married partners after death, it may be expedient to add the following circumstances. I. That all those married partners who are merely natural, are separated after death; because with them the love of marriage grows cold, and the love of adultery grows warm: nevertheless after separation, they sometimes associate as married partners with others; but after a short time they withdraw from each other: and this in many cases is done repeatedly; till at length the man is made over to some harlot, and the woman to some adulterer; which is effected in an infernal prison: concerning which prison, see the APOCALYPSE REVEALED, n. 153, § x., where promiscuous whoredom is forbidden each party under certain pains and penalties. II. Married partners, of whom one is spiritual and the other natural, are also separated after death; and to the spiritual is given a suitable married partner: whereas the natural one is sent to the resorts of the lascivious among his like. III. But those, who in the world have lived a single life, and have altogether alienated their minds from marriage, in case they be spiritual, remain single; but if natural, they become whoremongers. It is otherwise with those, who in their single state have desired marriage, and especially if they have solicited it without success; for such, if they are spiritual, blessed marriages are provided, but not until they come into heaven. IV. Those who in the world have been shut up in monasteries, both men and women, at the conclusion of the monastic life, which continues some time after death, are let loose and discharged, and enjoy the free indulgence of their desires, whether they are disposed to live in a married state or not: if they are disposed to live in a married state, this is granted them; but if otherwise, they are conveyed to those who live in celibacy on the side of heaven; such, however, as have indulged the fires of prohibited lust, are cast down. V. The reason why those who live in celibacy are on the side of heaven, is, because the sphere of perpetual celibacy infests the sphere of conjugial love, which is the very essential sphere of heaven; and the reason why the sphere