The Irrational Knot. Bernard Shaw
and The Pilgrim's Progress. The Arabian Nights Entertainments were sternly refused her; so she read them by stealth; and from that day there was always a collection of books, borrowed from friends, or filched from the upper shelf in the library, beneath her mattress. Nobody thought of looking there for them; and even if they had, they might have paused to reflect on the consequences of betraying her. Her eldest sister having given her a small workbox on her eleventh birthday, had the present thrown at her head two days later for reporting to her parents that Nelly's fondness for sitting in a certain secluded summer-house was due to her desire to read Lord Byron's poetry unobserved. Miss Lydia's forehead was severely cut; and Elinor, though bitterly remorseful, not only refused to beg pardon for her fault, but shattered every brittle article in the room to which she was confined for her contumacy. The vicar, on being consulted, recommended that she should be well whipped. This counsel was repugnant to Hardy McQuinch, but he gave his wife leave to use her discretion in the matter. The mother thought that the child ought to be beaten into submission; but she was afraid to undertake the task, and only uttered a threat, which was received with stubborn defiance. This was forgotten next day when Elinor, exhausted by a week of remorse, terror, rage, and suspense, became dangerously ill. When she recovered, her parents were more indulgent to her, and were gratified by finding her former passionate resistance replaced by sulky obedience. Five years elapsed, and Elinor began to write fiction. The beginning of a novel, and many incoherent verses imitated from Lara, were discovered by her mother, and burnt by her father. This outrage she never forgave. She was unable to make her resentment felt, for she no longer cared to break glass and china. She feared even to remonstrate lest she should humiliate herself by bursting into tears, as, since her illness, she had been prone to do in the least agitation. So she kept silence, and ceased to speak to either of her parents except when they addressed questions to her. Her father would neither complain of this nor confess the regret he felt for his hasty destruction of her manuscripts; but, whilst he proclaimed that he would burn every scrap of her nonsense that might come into his hands, he took care to be blind when he surprised her with suspicious bundles of foolscap, and snubbed his wife for hinting that Elinor was secretly disobeying him. Meanwhile her silent resentment never softened, and the life of the family was embittered by their consciousness of it. It never occurred to Mrs. McQuinch, an excellent mother to her two eldest daughters, that she was no more fit to have charge of the youngest than a turtle is to rear a young eagle. The discomfort of their relations never shook her faith in their "naturalness." Like her husband and the vicar, she believed that when God sent children he made their parents fit to rule them. And Elinor resented her parents' tyranny, as she felt it to be, without dreaming of making any allowances for their being in a false position towards her.
One morning a letter from London announced that Mr. Lind had taken a house in Westbourne Terrace, and intended to live there permanently with his daughter. Elinor had not come down to breakfast when the post came.
"Yes," said Mrs. McQuinch, when she had communicated the news: "I knew there was something the matter when I saw Reginald's handwriting. It must be fully eighteen months since I heard from him last. I am very glad he has settled Marian in a proper home, instead of living like a bachelor and leaving her to wander about from one house to another. I wish we could have afforded to ask her down here oftener."
"Here is a note from Marian, addressed to Nelly," said Lydia, who had been examining the envelope.
"To Nelly!" said Mrs. McQuinch, vexed. "I think she should have invited one of you first."
"Perhaps it is not an invitation," said Jane.
"What else is it likely to be, child?" said Mrs. McQuinch. Then, as she thought how much pleasanter her home would be without Elinor, she added, "After all, it will do Nelly good to get away from here. She needs change, I think. I wish she would come down. It is too bad of her to be always late like this."
Elinor came in presently, wearing a neglected black gown; her face pale; her eyes surrounded by dark circles; her black hair straggling in wisps over her forehead. Her sisters, dressed twinlike in white muslin and gold lockets, emphasized her by contrast. Being blond and gregarious, they enjoyed the reputation of being pretty and affectionate. They had thriven in the soil that had starved Elinor.
"There's a letter for you from Marian," said Mrs. McQuinch.
"Thanks," said Elinor, indifferently, putting the note into her pocket. She liked Marian's letters, and kept them to read in her hours of solitude.
"What does she say?" said Mrs. McQuinch.
"I have not looked," replied Elinor.
"Well," said Mrs. McQuinch, plaintively, "I wish you would look. I want to know whether she says anything about this letter from your uncle Reginald."
Elinor plucked the note from her pocket, tore it open, and read it.
Suddenly she set her face to hide some emotion from her family.
"Marian wants me to go and stay with her," she said. "They have taken a house."
"Poor Marian!" said Jane. "And will you go?"
"I will," said Elinor. "Have you any objection?"
"Oh dear, no," said Jane, smoothly.
"I suppose you will be glad to get away from your home," said Mrs.
McQuinch, incontinently.
"Very glad," said Elinor. Mr. McQuinch, hurt, looked at her over his newspaper. Mrs. McQuinch was huffed.
"I dont know what you are to do for clothes," she said, "unless Lydia and Jane are content to wear their last winter's dresses again this year."
The faces of the young ladies elongated. "That's nonsense, mamma," said Lydia. "We cant wear those brown reps again." Women wore reps in those days.
"You need not be alarmed," said Elinor. "I dont want any clothes. I can go as I am."
"You dont know what you are talking about, child," said Mrs. McQuinch.
"A nice figure you would make in uncle Reginald's drawing-room with that dress on!" said Lydia.
"And your hair in that state!" added Jane.
"You should remember that there are others to be considered besides yourself," said Lydia. "How would you like your guests to look like scarecrows?"
"How could you expect Marian to go about with you, or into the Park? I suppose——"
"Here, here!" said Mr. McQuinch, putting down his paper. "Let us have no more of this. What else do you need in the Park than a riding habit? You have that already. Whatever clothes you want you had better get in London, where you will get the proper things for your money."
"Indeed, Hardy, she is not going to pay a London milliner four prices for things she can get quite as good down here."
"I tell you I dont want anything," said Elinor impatiently. "It will be time enough to begrudge me some decent clothes when I ask for them."
"I dont begrudge——"
Mrs. McQuinch's husband interrupted her. "Thats enough, now, everybody. It's settled that she is to go, as she wants to. I will get her what is necessary. Give me another egg, and talk about something else."
Accordingly, Elinor went to live at Westbourne Terrace. Marian had spent a month of her childhood in Wiltshire, and had made of Elinor an exacting friend, always ready to take offence, and to remain jealous and sulky for days if one of her sisters, or any other little girl, engaged her cousin's attention long. On the other hand, Elinor's attachment was idolatrous in its intensity; and as Marian was sweet-tempered, and more apt to fear that she had disregarded Elinor's feelings than to take offence at her waywardness, their friendship endured after they were parted. Their promises of correspondence were redeemed by Elinor with very long letters at uncertain intervals, and by Marian with shorter epistles notifying all her important movements. Marian, often called upon to defend her cousin from the charge of being a little shrew, was led to dwell upon her better qualities. Elinor found in Marian what she had never found at her own home, a friend,