There is always the sun behind the clouds. Living happily. Tatiana Grafova
and emancipation, we are very different from what is traditionally referred to as the “strong sex”.
It does not mean that we are better, or the other way around.
All it means is that we are very-very-very-very-very different from each other.
We, women, are special. We are not made of the same stuff men are made of.
Do you remember the children’s rhyme “What are little boys (and little girls) made of?”
Well, all the answers are there. And mind you, I’m only half-joking.
There is a lot of truth in that, even if it’s a little exaggerated.
Men and women don’t feel and perceive the world in the same way.
We are different both physiologically and psychologically.
Even our brain functions differently.
They say, the two hemispheres of a man’s brain work in turn, one after another.
Whereas in a woman’s brain both function simultaneously.
And who knows? – It may well be really the case!
Perhaps this explains why women can easily do two or even three things simultaneously, whereas a man can only do one thing at a time.
Men are known to love with their eyes and women – with their ears.
We are different in the way we experience orgasm.
We have a different sensitivity to pain: women are generally much more tolerant to it than men.
To cut the long story short, we are different in so many respects that it’s only natural that our needs should also be different and that we should have our own understanding of what happiness is all about. And as a logical consequence – our own, typically female means and ways of achieving it.
I know what I’m talking about because I happen to be a woman.
I have already walked my difficult path to happiness.
And now I want to share some of my discoveries made on the way and some secrets based on my own life experience that might help you to master the art of living happily ever after.
The Tibetian monks believe that wise people learn from other people’s mistakes, whereas those who choose to learn only from their own, subject themselves to unnecessary pain and suffering.
So why not try to be wise?
It’s obvious that there can be no single, unique and ready-made recipe of happiness for all of us.
It goes without saying and it is clear as broad daylight.
Each of us has her own style of wearing her clothes and her hair, her own special way of baking an apple pie.
And quite naturally, each of us must find her own way to happiness.
Simply because each of us is unique.
Each has to find her own Golden Key to open the secret door.
But still…
I am sure that each of you will find some useful hints and clues in this book, at least one or two “recipes” that you might like to try and that will help you to discover your own road to happiness.
I wish you a nice trip and good luck on the way!
To become happy is not always as difficult as it may seem at first glance.
Very often we ourselves overcomplicate our life and our relations with other people – our friends, husbands and lovers, children, bosses and subordinates.
In order to be happy, first and foremost you must sincerely want it, desire it with all your heart and soul.
As you know, Where there is a will there is a way.
Abraham Lincoln once said: “Most people are happy to the extent they wish to be happy. Happiness is inside us. It is not the result of outside circumstances”.
And it is a well-known fact that if a woman wants something really badly, there is no stopping her.
She can move mountains!
Or don’t you agree with me?
Well, now, if you want to become happy, start acting right now!
Don’t put it off till tomorrow!
As the saying has it: For a wise person every day opens a door to a new life.
A parable about the monk who committed a sin
Once I went to a lecture given by a well-known Russian Orthodox priest.
And he told us the following parable:
A young monk went to the nearby town on some errand for the monastery.
Once in town, he met a very beautiful girl, could not resist the temptation and committed a sin, breaking the vow of celibacy.
The next day he went to town again and on his way the Devil came up to him and said:
“You have sinned and cannot go back to the monastery and continue to serve God like you did before. Stay in this world and enjoy its pleasures to the full”.
And he tried to tempt him and persuade him not to return to the monastery.
But the monk said to him: “Yesterday it wasn’t me, it was somebody else”.
And he returned to his fellow-monks and to his former sinless and righteous life.
What is the message of this parable?
Why did the monk say that the day before it had not been him?
I think this is what it all means:
Of course, we can’t change our yesterday’s actions.
What is done cannot be undone.
But this does not mean that if we made a mistake yesterday, we can’t correct it today and start a new life.
On the contrary, we can and probably should let bygons be bygones, or let the dead bury their dead.
The wise monks living in the mountains of Tibet have always believed that there are no mistakes in life. There are only lessons to be learnt to move forward.
And the more difficult the obstacles we have to overcome, the more we can eventually achieve in our life.
Today is another day. And we are different from what we were yesterday.
As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said 500 years B.C.,
You can’t go into the same river twice.
Certainly, we can’t because everything flows and changes, including ourselves.
This means that it is never too late to turn over a new leaf and start your life afresh.
Why not do it today?
Why not start right now?
Yesterday is dead and gone.
You can’t change it and it’s no use crying over spilt milk.
Tomorrow is out of sight.
So let’s stop being hostages of our past or building castles in the air and living in the world of dreams and make-belief, like Manilov – N.V.Gogol’s character from “The Dead Souls”.
You have to understand:
The true, real life is only here and now.
It is the present moment.
And this very moment can radically change your whole life.
But only upon one condition, only if you really want it.
If