Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour. W. Somerset Maugham
Frederick.
[Laughing.] Only when I've looked in the glass.
Gerald.
My dear Elizabeth, how vain you are.
Lady Frederick.
You're very happy, my Gerald.
Gerald.
It's such a relief to have got over all the difficulties. I thought it never would come right. You are a brick, Elizabeth.
Lady Frederick.
I really think I am rather.
Gerald.
The moment you promised to arrange things I felt as safe as a house.
Lady Frederick.
I said I'd do my best, didn't I? And I told you not to worry.
Gerald.
[Turning round suddenly.] Isn't it all right?
Lady Frederick.
No, it's about as wrong as it can possibly be. I knew Cohen was staying here, and I thought I could get him to hold the bills over for a few days.
Gerald.
And won't he?
Lady Frederick.
He hasn't got them any more.
Gerald.
[Startled.] What!
Lady Frederick.
They've been negotiated, and he swears he doesn't know who has them.
Gerald.
But who could have been such a fool?
Lady Frederick.
I don't know, that's just the awful part of it. It was bad enough before. I knew the worst Cohen could do, but now.... It couldn't be Paradine.
Gerald.
And then there's Montgomerie.
Lady Frederick.
I shall see him to-day.
Gerald.
What are you going to say to him?
Lady Frederick.
I haven't an idea. I'm rather frightened of him.
Gerald.
You know, dear, if the worst comes to the worst....
Lady Frederick.
Whatever happens you shall marry Rose. I promise you that.
[Paradine Fouldes appears.
Fouldes.
May I come in?
Lady Frederick.
[Gaily.] It's a public room. I don't see how we can possibly prevent you.
Gerald.
I'm just going to take a stroll.
Lady Frederick.
Do.
[He goes out.
Fouldes.
Well? How are things going?
Lady Frederick.
Quite well, thank you.
Fouldes.
I've left Charlie with his mother. I hope you can spare him for a couple of hours.
Lady Frederick.
I told him he must spend the afternoon with her. I don't approve of his neglecting his filial duty.
Fouldes.
Ah!... I saw Dick Cohen this morning.
Lady Frederick.
[Quickly.] Did you?
Fouldes.
It seems to interest you?
Lady Frederick.
Not at all. Why should it?
Fouldes.
[Smiling.] Nice little man, isn't he?
Lady Frederick.
[Good humouredly.] I wish I had something to throw at you.
Fouldes.
[With a laugh.] Well, I haven't got the confounded bills. I was too late.
Lady Frederick.
Did you try?
Fouldes.
Oh—yes, I thought it would interest Charlie to know how extremely needful it was for you to marry him.
Lady Frederick.
Then who on earth has got them?
Fouldes.
I haven't an idea, but they must make you very uncomfortable. Three thousand five hundred, eh?
Lady Frederick.
Don't say it all at once. It sounds so much.
Fouldes.
You wouldn't like to exchange those letters of Mereston's for seven thousand pounds, would you?
Lady Frederick.
[Laughing.] No.
Fouldes.
Ah.... By the way, d'you mind if I tell Charlie the full story of your—relations with me?
Lady Frederick.
Why should I? It's not I who'll look ridiculous.
Fouldes.
Thanks. I may avail myself of your permission.
Lady Frederick.
I daresay you've noticed that Charlie has a very keen sense of humour.
Fouldes.
If you're going to be disagreeable to me I shall go. [He stops.] I say, are you quite sure there's nothing else that can be brought up against you?
Lady Frederick.
[Laughing.] Quite sure, thanks.
Fouldes.
My sister's very jubilant to-day. What about the Bellingham affair?
Lady Frederick.
Merely scandal, my friend.
Fouldes.
Well, look out. She's a woman, and she'll stick at nothing.
Lady Frederick.
I wonder why you warn me.
Fouldes.
For the sake of old times, my dear.
Lady Frederick.
You're growing sentimental, Paradine. It's the punishment which the gods inflict on a cynic when he grows old.
Fouldes.
It may be, but for the life of me I can't forget that once——
Lady Frederick.
[Interrupting.] My dear friend, don't rake up my lamentable past.
Fouldes.
I don't think I've met any one so entirely devoid of sentiment as you are.
Lady Frederick.
Let us agree that I have every vice under the sun and have done with it.
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