Claire: The Blind Love of a Blind Hero, by a Blind Author. Leslie Burton Blades
did not puff so hard between grades. Claire felt the easier swing of his body when he walked, and noticed that he was growing surer of foot and more graceful in movement, and she realized that except for his eyes he was a splendid specimen of manhood. She now admitted all these things to herself, but they only added to her feeling against him. She wondered if he had been as indifferent to all women as he was to her, and was displeased that she wondered.
Suddenly Lawrence stopped and put her down by his side. Claire looked up at him and saw his forehead gathering in a frown.
"What is it?" she asked anxiously.
"You are letting your thoughts obstruct your eyes," he said simply. "I have walked into three boulders without your knowing it."
"I am sorry," she said earnestly. "It was silly of me."
He laughed and sat down. "You see, as eyes you can't afford to think. At other times perhaps I, too, should wander into abstractions, but at present it won't work."
"I know it," she admitted contritely. "I won't repeat it."
"What," he asked, "is the subject of all this meditation?"
She blushed, and her eyes darkened. She wondered whether she should tell the truth, started to do so, then changed her mind. "I was asking myself what my husband was probably doing and thinking."
"Poor fellow!" Lawrence was sincerely thoughtful. "I can imagine what it must be to him, supposing you lost at sea. Yes, he must be suffering badly. I don't believe I would change places with him."
Claire started at Lawrence. "Are you flattering me?" she asked coldly.
"Not at all," he replied. "I am merely stating the truth. I have an imagination, my dear lady. I can quite grasp your husband's position. You would certainly be a loss to a man who loved you, and I shouldn't care to be that man."
"Shouldn't you?" she said instinctively, and bit her lip for saying it.
"Not under the circumstances," answered Lawrence. "I never did fancy the idea of death visiting my loved ones. I have never got over its having done so."
"Oh"—her voice softened—"then you have lost your—" She waited.
"I am an orphan," he said bruskly.
She was ashamed of her relief. How ridiculous it was to have imagined him, even for an instant, as a married man! He was so cold, so impersonal; of course, he had never married, and never would. Well, that was best; a blind man had no right to marry. He owed it to himself and to any woman not to place her in the position of caring for him, handicapped as he was, and so unable to give her the companionship, the comradeship a woman deserved. She could see how he would treat a wife: feed her well, clothe her, care for her comfort, and talk to her if she desired, but he would never be tender, loving, sympathetic, or understanding. No, he could not be; he was too self-centered, too much the artist. That last seemed to her a correct estimate of him, and she settled her mind on it as being final.
"So you are alone in the world?" Claire said, renewing the conversation.
"Quite," answered Lawrence. "I am as free from family hindrances as a young wolf that runs his first season's hunt alone."
She thought how apt a comparison he had made. "So you regard the family as a hindrance?"
"Oh—no and yes. One can never do quite as he pleases while a family and its wishes, aims, and loves are concerned. They always hold him down to some extent. He is an equal hindrance to them. They love each other, and as a result they have to sacrifice their individual wishes. But the family keeps man more social, more gregarious, and less selfish. If we were as free from family love as is the wolf I mentioned, we would be able to live our lives more completely, and, on the other hand, we would die in greater numbers. The love of man and woman for each other and their children lifts humanity out of its serfdom, but it also places limitations. You ought to know more about that than I, however," he laughed. "I merely theorize."
"So I noticed," Claire observed. "One can easily gather that you aren't experienced."
"No. My parents died when I was small. I had to work my way through school. The accident made it somewhat harder, but I got along." He was plainly matter of fact.
"Oh!" She exclaimed at his words more forcefully than she had intended.
He smiled a little, comprehendingly. "Yes, it explains a lot, doesn't it?" He spoke carelessly. "You doubtless can now understand my lack of social grace."
She thought to deny it, but that seemed foolish. He was silent, and there seemed little use in talking. Claire knew she understood him well enough.
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