The Best of Grapevine, Vols. 1,2,3. Группа авторов
recovery.
Many members of AA have gone back to the physician, clergyman, or other person who tried to help them, and have told of their recovery. This has opened many doors, and I continue to urge AA members, in every way I can, to identify themselves as individuals recovering from alcoholism wherever and whenever the disclosure seems opportune.
When AA members and others who have recovered from alcoholism do this, it is my hope that they will talk about the part of their experience most difficult to talk about—the way they felt, as people, while they were trying unsuccessfully to “handle” their drinking. Rarely, if ever, is this mentioned. How can professional people understand the disease unless those who are the victims will honestly and completely describe their symptoms and their feelings?—describe, for example, how they hated themselves for breaking their promises to themselves and to their families, their employers, and their friends. I can think of nothing that will help as much as this to create the understanding, working relationship we all desire between the “caring professions” and people who are in trouble with alcohol.
Sponsor your doctor, your clergyman, your lawyer, your boss, a social worker, a policeman. They need the knowledge and understanding that only you can give as you tell them honestly your own experience. Let us stop criticizing each other and get on with the job of meeting our common problem, alcoholism.
Are You Powerless Over Money?
August 1967
My husband and I met and married in AA four and a half years ago. I now have six years of sobriety, and my husband almost ten. A while ago, taking a look at our situation, it seemed to us that our sobriety, which AA built, was in fine shape, but our financial “house that Jack built” was crumbling into ruins. In other words, our money affairs were in sad shape.
It seemed to us, on reflection, that if we really were applying AA principles in all our affairs, all our affairs ought to show it. Our finances didn’t. We know that AA is for getting and staying sober, but we believe that AA’s Steps are for the whole of life.
What was the trouble with us and money? We decided it wasn’t the money, it was us, our defects of character: lack of foresight, not saving for a rainy day (it seemed to rain every day), attitude toward our jobs, and so on. We were getting deeper and deeper into debt, and not because we hadn’t had any breaks financially since sobering up in AA. We had plenty of breaks.
We decided it was time we took another kind of inventory. We came to the conclusion that we were powerless over money and that our lives were very, very unmanageable, still.
We also discussed the situation with other AA members and found that the condition was a common one. We began to notice references to it in AA talks. One speaker said, “When I was drinking, I owed five thousand people one dollar. Now, sober many years, I owe two people ten thousand dollars.’’
Another said, “I seem to have lost my drive to make money and haven’t gained any abilities to use wisely what I do earn. Where is the wisdom I need?’’
And yet another: “Debts, debts, debts, and seemingly no way out. I never seem to learn. Why do we keep getting ourselves trapped like this?”
“Are we still drunk when it comes to handling money?’’
“I certainly don’t think it’s God’s will that we live beyond our means, but…”
“Well, I’ve got my credit rating back since I sobered up, but I was better off without it.’’
Someone suggested that perhaps we could substitute the word money for the word alcohol in Step One and take it from there. We might admit we were powerless over money, and that our lives consequently have become unmanageable; and then work the rest of the Steps accordingly.
Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity in handling our financial affairs.
Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives and our financial affairs over to the care of God as we understood him. We would ask him for help in better controlling our desire for things we can’t afford; we would put this area of our life in God’s hands and keep it there.
Four: Our inventory can help us to determine just what is at the root of our financial condition; we can face the situation openly.
Five: We must admit to ourselves, and another person and to God, the nature of our past financial behavior. This will help us to discover the truth of the situation, and possibly get a few suggestions about how to correct it.
Six: We must be ready and willing to have God remove the cause of our being in bondage, in debt. Unless we sincerely desire to be rid of debt and the cause of it, we cannot hope to be free. God always knows when we want to have our cake and eat it, too. Our circumstances will remain unchanged until we want what we pray for, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, whether it be freedom from debt (or rather, the character defects that led us into debt) or any other problem.
Seven: We must humbly ask God to remove the cause of our indebtedness. Asking is an open display of willingness and sincerity of purpose. In this state we accept all the help we can get.
Eight: We make a list of all our debts, and become willing to pay in full no matter what the cost or sacrifice to our pride, ego, pocketbook, or worldly goods. We really try to be ready and willing to take right action.
Nine: We pay off as much as we can as soon as we can, and let our creditors know our intentions. We ought not evade or put off setting things in order.
Ten: We continue to take inventory daily so as to remind ourselves of our purpose, and be on guard against new extravagances or negligence. We must ask ourselves before we become obligated, if we really need or merely want this thing. Will it breed more trouble and debt, or will it really help solve the problem? (Now, no kidding. Have we talked this thing over with another person?; with God? Have we examined our motives honestly and sincerely? Have we considered a more practical solution? Are we being impatient, and can we admit it?).
Eleven: We must try in our prayers to ask God for guidance—knowledge of his will. Ask ourselves if we have prayed for the power to carry out whatever we have to do to get out of debt. Have we dared to turn our problem over to God completely and to rest in quiet trust for the outcome?
Twelve: Are we now truly aware of our problem, believing we can and will get help if we sincerely ask? Do we believe that AA’s Twelve Steps really do apply to all our affairs? Are we then willing to apply them to a specific real problem? Do we believe that even the tendency to indebtedness in our lives can be reversed? Could we not attempt to pass along this approach to others with the same problem, showing our experience?
Some observers of contemporary affairs claim that financial problems bring on more unhappiness and mental and emotional upsets, especially between husbands and wives, than any other cause. We believe that overwhelming debts can indeed jeopardize serenity, even sobriety; they take away some of the happiness that our wonderful sobriety through AA has given us.
We’re working on it!
M.U. and R.U., Boulder, Colo.
The Heart Attack
March 1975
I like to think that a basic key to good, solid sobriety is acceptance of two facts—not only that I am an alcoholic, but also that I am me and have certain limitations and abilities with which to work.
The Serenity Prayer begins by requesting our God, as we understand him, to give us the serenity to accept that which we cannot change. In the beginning, I applied this only to my alcoholism, forgetting other areas. But many sober experiences have taught me to try to accept other parts of myself and not try to be that which I cannot be.
I remember, in my first year in the Fellowship, agreeing with everybody so they would like me. If John was a Republican, I’d support his views. With Ed, a Democrat, I’d be a Democrat. My