Starlight Riders Boxed-Set 50 Western Classics in One Edition. Ernest Haycox
chuckling. "He'd sell his grandmother down the river. Sentiment—shucks."
"What's all this got to do with an assault and battery case?" protested Langdell. "Let's have the fine. We'll go into the other matter later."
"I'm interested," said his honor. "I know Wilgus, I know Tuggs, and I have recollections of the horse. This being a court of first resort I consider it no less than my duty to go so far afield as necessary in any case to prevent subsequent litigation. Why should we embrace the thought of replevin when a simple face- to-face parley might do away with such action? Tuggs, you maintain it is your horse. Where did you get it?"
"I bought it from a trader," said Tuggs. "He ain't in the country any more. That was two years ago. Maybe he's got a Wilgus brand. Most hosses around here have. But he's got other brands likewise. I paid money for the beast. He's mine."
"Hm," said the judge. "Sheriff, bring in the horse."
"Oh, now," protested Langdell, "he'll kick hell out of the furniture."
The judge considered the objection briefly and ruled it out. "Speaking from personal recollection of Tuggs's horse I would say that if the beast is able to kick hell out of this court's furniture, then he is not the horse I think he is. Bring him in, Ortez."
Ortez, the sheriff, departed. In a little while the courtroom heard a hollow, stumbling clatter, followed by the sheriffs pleading voice. "Come on, boy, this ain't goin' to be hard. Listen, you condemned lost soul, hold up yore head! Yeah, now lift yore foot. Quit leanin' on me—yore supposed to be the horse, not me! Well, I know yore tired, but what the hell am I to do about it? Henry—Henry, for God's sake come over here and get this damned brute off my chest!"
Presently Ortez came perspiring into the chamber, dragging a long rope. Next in order was Henry, also hauling on the rope. And finally Tuggs's horse limped through the door. Undoubtedly he was a tired horse. Planting his feet wide apart he rolled his jaded eyes and fetched a dismal groan. He was a wrinkled horse, a sway- backed horse, a horse that embodied every disgraceful thing a horse should not be. His ears flopped limply, his knees interfered, and his lips quivered as if he were about to burst out crying. Practically the only sign of life he displayed to the incredulous courtroom was to sway toward the wall with the presumable intent of leaning against it. Ortez warned the court glumly.
"If you want any testimony from this horse yuh better take it quick. I got to git him out of here afore he dies on me."
"That brings up a debatable point of fact," reflected Niland. "Is he a horse?"
"Well," grunted Ortez, "they's horses and they's horses. This is still another kind of horse."
"He must have been born old," added Niland. "Makes me tired to look at him."
"If he were able to sit," said the court, "I'd offer him a chair. Tuggs, is this the animal you use as a beast of burden?"
"Well, he's all right," muttered Tuggs. "When I got him hitched to a load on a level stretch I can ride in the wagon too. Of course, I have to favor him a little. When we hit a mite of a grade I walk. If the grade gets steep I push. I got to have a horse, don't I?"
"What seems to be the record as to brands?" inquired the court.
Ortez shook his head. "If there's any outfit which ain't put their brand on this horse durin' the past thirty years I fail to detect the absence. He's a walkin' directory."
Denver walked to the beast and ran his hand over one scarred side. Cattleland brands its beef stock freely and without regard for appearances, but a horse is marked as little as possible. Starting just above the stifle, the customary branding spot, Denver began to unravel the story of this jaded charger's peregrinations. He had been a Fee horse, he had stayed a while with Gallant at Flying G. Thence he had moved—all this registered in burns that wandered up from stifle to hip and thence outward along the flank—through Three Pines, Hogpen, Double Ought, Thirty Ranch, Bar Y, Broken Jug, XL, Lazy UT, and the Gate brand of Wilgus. Nor was there any order in the arrangement of brands. They crowded together, overlapped, doubled up—proving anything or nothing.
"Denver," called the court, "I'll designate you as expert witness. What's your impression?"
"Wait a minute," interposed Ortez. "There's two sides to a horse. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Come over and read some more."
Denver walked around the animal and chuckled. "My first impression is that if there's any more branding to be done on this horse you'll have to get another horse. All I can say now in regard to the specimen before me is that he's better than sixteen years old."
"Now, now," cut in Wilgus, "he ain't a day over twelve. He just looks a little tired, that's all."
"Beg to differ. They quit using the Lazy UT brand sixteen seasons ago. This horse has been places and seen things. In fact, he's practically an original passenger of the Ark."
The horse leered at Denver's coat buttons, nibbled on one in a spasmodic burst of energy, and sneezed. Ortez evidenced alarm.
"Y'honor, this horse ain't himself at all—"
"Was he ever?" interrupted Niland.
"—the crowd excites him. The air is bad. I got to get this horse outa here. Henry, lend a hand."
Niland rose. "Considering the fact that ownership is going to be difficult to determine, why not settle reasonably? Let Wilgus make an offer for the horse. Tuggs would accept rather than go through a long suit. If we could establish a fair price—"
"This has got nothing to do with assault and battery," repeated Langdell.
"The mills of the gods grind exceedingly small," said the judge. "If you're determined to get the assault and battery end of it over with I'll oblige. Wilgus is fined twenty-five dollars. Now let's see about this offer of sale. Wilgus wants the horse. Tuggs will sell. Niland has suggested a price."
"Including rope and halter?" asked Langdell.
"Certainly not," said Niland. "A rope and halter represents around six dollars. Are you buying hardware or horse? I offer the horse as is, without gear, delivered on the streets of Sundown."
"He might run away," objected Langdell.
The court frowned heavily on the attorney. "Mr. Langdell, don't let your wild fancy get the best of you. Did you ever hear of the horse running? Can you produce any living being who saw or thought he saw in the aforementioned horse any inkling of a desire to run away, either impulsively or after due deliberation? Just what evidence can you adduce to prove that this horse is even familiar with the act of running?"
Out of the crowd came a hollow assent. "True, brother."
"Well," considered Langdell, "we might go so far as to make an offer—if you agree to deliver the horse at the Wilgus ranch."
"Now, now," scoffed Niland. "It's eleven miles to that ranch. I refuse to embark on any such hazardous experiment. The horse is in delicate health."
"Gentlemen, get together," adjured the court. "I think you ought to make an attempt to strike an equitable balance."
Langdell whispered to Wilgus and came to a sudden decision. "Very well. Give us five dollars, Niland, and we'll take the horse off your hands."
Niland threw up his arms in disgust. "Have you forgotten the horse is valuable?"
"For what?" jeered Langdell.
"Your client says so."
Wilgus half rose. "Sentimentally, understand. I wouldn't go so fur as to say it was anything else."
Niland conferred with Tuggs. "Tuggs," he announced, "is ready to let Wilgus give him twenty dollars cash or another sound horse such as this one."
Langdell raised an unbelieving eyebrow; and even the court seemed rather dashed. Rumors of difficulty drifted into the hall of justice. The sheriff had piloted the horse as far as those difficult steps and now was audibly preparing for the worst. "Henry, don't stand down there thataway. If he starts a-goin' too fast he'll crush yuh."
"Let's