Facing Sufering. Roberto Badenas

Facing Sufering - Roberto Badenas


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to begin with. A famous beauty watches herself age in the mirror, battling gray hair, weight gain, wrinkles or flabbiness. An athlete who was admired for his physique suffers the withering of his body to a greater extent than the rest of us who were always average or unattractive. Those who loved or were loved despair after being abandoned. Those who possessed wealth and lost it are much more unhappy than those who were always poor. Whether we like it or not, our past casts its shadow over our present.15 As Lord Byron said, “The memory of joy is no longer joy; the memory of pain is pain still.”

      The actor who was an idol cannot stand to be forgotten. The athlete who dreads being replaced may try to prolong his career by using chemicals…. It is difficult to cure yourself of past triumphs— of glory lost. The writer becomes depressed if her latest book sells fewer copies than her previous book, and the singer grows somber if he books fewer performances than before…. Far from being content with what life gave us for a time, we feel that the past no longer counts, no matter how great it was. Money accumulated no longer satisfies if we don’t keep earning. Admiration once received is worthless if it is no longer given. Beauty once possessed becomes a bitter memory once it is lost…

      Why do we place so little value on what we have accomplished, once it has passed? A growing number of people undergo countless operations and inject any chemical into their bodies just to look younger, but they often end up looking deformed…. And there is the vain politician who isn’t adverse to making any compromise to improve his image, trying to get the votes that will enable him to remain in power….

      A sense of failure

      Moved by a profound longing to find himself and undertake a life project based on values, not on profit, Montes sold his business a few years ago. What he calls his “inner transformation” has led him to become the founder of the social movement Wikihappiness. This successful former administrator now gives conferences for administrators, at which he speaks of triumph and failure.

      “When you don’t know who you are or what you want, you are a slave to your own low self-esteem and insecurity. This lack of confidence leads you to think and do what others think and do. Authentic people are free, consistent, and honest with themselves. When we are very young other people fill our heads with preconceived notions about how we should live our lives. They condition us to triumph at all costs, to take that route into the temple of happiness. But it is a big lie. I have lived in that place and it’s empty. Happiness doesn’t depend on what we possess, but rather on what we are and our ability to live in accord with ourselves. Often the race to possess becomes an obstacle in the path to being.”

      Frustration is produced by depending on others for our happiness. The sense of failure is a major source of suffering. And from frustration to anger there is but a single step.

      Anger and feelings of guilt

      Positive attitudes

      Even in the midst of our pain, we can remember that the body contains countless cells that are working continuously on our behalf:

      1 Our brains have countless active neurons that keep our thinking alert and make us conscious of the world around us.

      2 Our eyes are wonderful receptors that allow us to enjoy the magic of colors and shapes, the wonder of light, the beauties of nature, the immensity of the universe and relationships with our fellow man.

      3 Our ears contain fine filaments that vibrate with children’s laughter, birdsong, orchestra music, the soft patter of raindrops, and the voices of the people we love.

      4 Most human beings can move. We can walk, jump, run, dance, or play sports. We have hundreds of muscles and bones coordinated by prodigiously synchronized nerves, ready to obey us and take us where we want to go.

      5 Our lungs are amazing filters. Through millions of alveoli, they purify the air that they take in, oxygenate our blood and free our bodies from harmful waste. There is no doubt that we were created for life. We have been designed to be happy.

      I must add, however, that it is dangerous to let ourselves be seduced by the siren


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