Family friend! A play for 4-5 people. Comedy and a little drama. Nikolay Lakutin
(feigned): Yes, what are you?
STASIK (in sadness): Imagine.
ALBINA (feigned): I'm all ears…
Stasik lets out a tear, he can't speak directly from longing and deep experience.
Albina stands up indignantly, but does not move away.
ALBINA (seriously and somewhat sternly): Listen, my dear friend! Actor, big and small theaters. You give me here let's stop fooling around Roly. What can happen to you? You won't get fired from your job because you don't work. Your child won't get sick, because you don't have any children. Your wife will not leave you and will not change for lack of it. The bank will not take the apartment for non-payment of the mortgage, either, because you are not burdened with anything in this life.
Albina gradually raises her tone to the maximum display of her indignation.
ALBINA (sternly, loudly): No loans, no debts, no problems, no worries. What difficulties can you have, Stasik! What kind of grief are you trying to give me here?
STASIK (in sadness, seriously, quietly): Mom …
Albina stops, her breath is coming out of her throat.
ALBINA (apologetically, fearfully, sympathetically): Eleonora Vitoldovna?
STASIK (almost crying, seriously, quietly): Yes…
Albina sits down on the sofa and looks at Stasik sympathetically. Timidly sits down next to him, feels sorry for him, pats him sympathetically on the head, leaning his head on the shoulder of a desperate man in life.
ALBINA (in sadness): Such a good woman …
Stasik, nodding, nodding his head.
ALBINA (in sadness): I didn't know her for many years, but somehow I got into her. She's like that… A sympathetic, sweet woman. The soul is a person.
STASIK (almost crying, seriously, quietly): Yeah… a good one… responsive… The soul is a person.
Both are silent in a state of grief, Albina continues to slowly gently soothe Stasik on the head.
STASIK (strictly with condemnation): This good, kind woman told me today that she was tired of feeding me! She left me without lunch, we had an argument, and I left… here to you.
ALBINA (freezes in confusion): And … eeeeeeeeeeeee what?
STASIK (calmly): That's it. And here I am. Well, you asked me what I was doing here. Here, I explained.
Albina, realizing what is what, gives Stasik a weighty, capacious slap on the head.
STASIK (writhing): Ah! For what?
ALBINA (in restrained rage): Yes, for that! Think what you're saying, damned one. I already thought that your mother was worth it …
STASIK (not understanding):
ALBINA (waving her hand away): Oh, come on.
Albina exhales, takes a couple of steps back, tries to calm down.
The door to the apartment opens, Gena enters, Albina does not see him, turns to Stasik and spills out everything that she thinks about him.
ALBINA (on emotions): Parasite! Good-for-nothing! Ohlamon! Ballast! You worthless loser! Not a man!
Gena looks at the whole picture in some confusion, drops her work bag, and throws up her hands in question. Albina turns at the sound. Stasik looks pitifully at Gena, seeking his salvation and protection.
Albina tries to explain something with gestures, but when she can't find the words, she drops her hands and exhales languidly.
3 THE HOUSE OF ALBINA AND THE GENES
All three of them are sitting at the table, in a friendly, very warm atmosphere, having dinner with a very big appetite. Stasik has a particularly brutal appetite.
ALBINA (Gene, in the process of eating): … well, here it is. Can you imagine my condition? He's in trouble, you know.
GENE (calmly, Albine, in the process of eating): Why should I be surprised? Stasik is in his repertoire.
ALBINA (Gene, in the process of eating): That's for sure.
STASIK (to the couple, leaning on the food): My friends… You won't believe it. My mom and I are like one. Like Alpha and Omega, like two banks of the same river, like day and night in the system of the universe, like …
ALBINA, GENA (chorus, interrupting): Yes, we already understood!
Stasik is quiet for a moment, running a gentle glance at Gena and Albina.
STASIK (to the couple, leaning on the food): Yeah. And now our unsinkable family cruiser has cracked. It's like a hole, my friends.
ALBINA (to Stasik, finishing the meal): You've had a hole in your head for a long time, my friend calico, not in some figurative family cruiser.
Stasik looks indignantly at Albina. Glances at Gena, with a look that seems to say to him: eh, friend, why is she looking at me like that? Help me somehow or something, influence your spouse!!!
Albina gets up from the table, sits on the sofa.
ALBINA (to Stasik): Tell me, just be honest. Are you going to sit on your mother's neck and on ours all your life? Tea isn't a boy anymore? It's about time I got my act together. There must be some responsibility, some seriousness.
Gena finishes the meal, goes to the sofa, sits down next to his wife.
GENA (to Stasik, trying to smooth out the corners): My friend, Albina wants to say that it's time for you to have your own family. To deal with larger issues than the ones you are currently dealing with.
STASIK (not understanding, continuing to lean on the food): Yes? M… and what questions am I dealing with now?
ALBINA (to Stasik): And you, Stasik, as long as I know you, do only one thing. You create problems for yourself, and then you heroically overcome them. Only for some reason, every time with our help.
STASIK (indignantly): Not true! (looking at his friend) Tell me, Gena?
Gena shrugs uncertainly and looks away.
STASIK (indignantly): What are you doing? Remember at least that story with the kettle in the store. Remember? Well, we went to the hypermarket together when I accidentally hit this glass teapot in the window with my cart. Who ever thought of making such low display cases and such glass teapots?
ALBINA (to Stasik): Well, we remember, and what are you doing well in that situation, let me ask?
STASIK (indignantly): How about what? How about what? After all, I myself found the senior salesman then and settled this delicate issue with him.
ALBINA (laughing indignantly): Ha! Settled it.
GENA (Stasiku): It wasn't quite like that. Rather, it was the senior salesman patiently waiting for you to get tired of hiding from him in the toilet, and then a conversation took place, as a result of which Albina and I had to compensate for the damage you caused.
STASIK (indignantly): These are the details! In fact, I myself then"sorted out" everything! Well, big deal, we borrowed a friend a couple of thousand. Now you will spend your whole life reproaching this.
ALBINA (indignantly): Well, let's put not a couple, but a three. And then the word "borrowed" – suggests a certain return on debt. And we said goodbye to our money, as it seems, forever. You haven't been in a hurry to return this amount to us all this time.
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