Rudyard Kipling : The Complete Novels and Stories. Редьярд Джозеф Киплинг
does it.’ Torpenhow put his arm round Dick and began to rock him gently to and fro.
‘That’s good. Now don’t talk. If I keep very quiet for a while, this darkness will lift. It seems just on the point of breaking. H’sh!’ Dick knit his brows and stared desperately in front of him. The night air was chilling Torpenhow’s toes.
‘Can you stay like that a minute?’ he said. ‘I’ll get my dressing-gown and some slippers.’
Dick clutched the bed-head with both hands and waited for the darkness to clear away. ‘What a time you’ve been!’ he cried, when Torpenhow returned. ‘It’s as black as ever. What are you banging about in the door-way?’
‘Long chair,—horse-blanket,—pillow. Going to sleep by you. Lie down now; you’ll be better in the morning.’
‘I shan’t!’ The voice rose to a wail. ‘My God! I’m blind! I’m blind, and the darkness will never go away.’ He made as if to leap from the bed, but Torpenhow’s arms were round him, and Torpenhow’s chin was on his shoulder, and his breath was squeezed out of him. He could only gasp, ‘Blind!’ and wriggle feebly.
‘Steady, Dickie, steady!’ said the deep voice in his ear, and the grip tightened. ‘Bite on the bullet, old man, and don’t let them think you’re afraid,’ The grip could draw no closer. Both men were breathing heavily. Dick threw his head from side to side and groaned.
‘Let me go,’ he panted. ‘You’re cracking my ribs. We-we mustn’t let them think we’re afraid, must we,—all the powers of darkness and that lot?’
‘Lie down. It’s all over now.’
‘Yes,’ said Dick, obediently. ‘But would you mind letting me hold your hand? I feel as if I wanted something to hold on to. One drops through the dark so.’
Torpenhow thrust out a large and hairy paw from the long chair. Dick clutched it tightly, and in half an hour had fallen asleep. Torpenhow withdrew his hand, and, stooping over Dick, kissed him lightly on the forehead, as men do sometimes kiss a wounded comrade in the hour of death, to ease his departure.
In the gray dawn Torpenhow heard Dick talking to himself. He was adrift on the shoreless tides of delirium, speaking very quickly—
‘It’s a pity,—a great pity; but it’s helped, and it must be eaten, Master George. Sufficient unto the day is the blindness thereof, and, further, putting aside all Melancolias and false humours, it is of obvious notoriety—such as mine was—that the queen can do no wrong. Torp doesn’t know that. I’ll tell him when we’re a little farther into the desert. What a bungle those boatmen are making of the steamer-ropes! They’ll have that four-inch hawser chafed through in a minute. I told you so—there she goes! White foam on green water, and the steamer slewing round. How good that looks! I’ll sketch it. No, I can’t. I’m afflicted with ophthalmia. That was one of the ten plagues of Egypt, and it extends up the Nile in the shape of cataract. Ha! that’s a joke, Torp. Laugh, you graven image, and stand clear of the hawser…. It’ll knock you into the water and make your dress all dirty, Maisie dear.’
‘Oh!’ said Torpenhow. ‘This happened before. That night on the river.’
‘She’ll be sure to say it’s my fault if you get muddy, and you’re quite near enough to the breakwater. Maisie, that’s not fair. Ah! I knew you’d miss. Low and to the left, dear. But you’ve no conviction. Don’t be angry, darling. I’d cut my hand off if it would give you anything more than obstinacy. My right hand, if it would serve.’
‘Now we mustn’t listen. Here’s an island shouting across seas of misunderstanding with a vengeance. But it’s shouting truth, I fancy,’ said Torpenhow.
The babble continued. It all bore upon Maisie. Sometimes Dick lectured at length on his craft, then he cursed himself for his folly in being enslaved. He pleaded to Maisie for a kiss—only one kiss—before she went away, and called to her to come back from Vitry-sur-Marne, if she would; but through all his ravings he bade heaven and earth witness that the queen could do no wrong.
Torpenhow listened attentively, and learned every detail of Dick’s life that had been hidden from him. For three days Dick raved through the past, and then a natural sleep. ‘What a strain he has been running under, poor chap!’ said Torpenhow. ‘Dick, of all men, handing himself over like a dog! And I was lecturing him on arrogance! I ought to have known that it was no use to judge a man. But I did it. What a demon that girl must be! Dick’s given her his life,—confound him!—and she’s given him one kiss apparently.’
‘Torp,’ said Dick, from the bed, ‘go out for a walk. You’ve been here too long. I’ll get up. Hi! This is annoying. I can’t dress myself. Oh, it’s too absurd!’
Torpenhow helped him into his clothes and led him to the big chair in the studio. He sat quietly waiting under strained nerves for the darkness to lift. It did not lift that day, nor the next. Dick adventured on a voyage round the walls. He hit his shins against the stove, and this suggested to him that it would be better to crawl on all fours, one hand in front of him. Torpenhow found him on the floor.
‘I’m trying to get the geography of my new possessions,’ said he. ‘D’you remember that nigger you gouged in the square? Pity you didn’t keep the odd eye. It would have been useful. Any letters for me? Give me all the ones in fat gray envelopes with a sort of crown thing outside. They’re of no importance.’
Torpenhow gave him a letter with a black M. on the envelope flap. Dick put it into his pocket. There was nothing in it that Torpenhow might not have read, but it belonged to himself and to Maisie, who would never belong to him.
‘When she finds that I don’t write, she’ll stop writing. It’s better so. I couldn’t be any use to her now,’ Dick argued, and the tempter suggested that he should make known his condition. Every nerve in him revolted. ‘I have fallen low enough already. I’m not going to beg for pity. Besides, it would be cruel to her.’ He strove to put Maisie out of his thoughts; but the blind have many opportunities for thinking, and as the tides of his strength came back to him in the long employless days of dead darkness, Dick’s soul was troubled to the core. Another letter, and another, came from Maisie. Then there was silence, and Dick sat by the window, the pulse of summer in the air, and pictured her being won by another man, stronger than himself. His imagination, the keener for the dark background it worked against, spared him no single detail that might send him raging up and down the studio, to stumble over the stove that seemed to be in four places at once. Worst of all, tobacco would not taste in the darkness. The arrogance of the man had disappeared, and in its place were settled despair that Torpenhow knew, and blind passion that Dick confided to his pillow at night. The intervals between the paroxysms were filled with intolerable waiting and the weight of intolerable darkness.
‘Come out into the Park,’ said Torpenhow. ‘You haven’t stirred out since the beginning of things.’
‘What’s the use? There’s no movement in the dark; and, besides,’—he paused irresolutely at the head of the stairs,—’something will run over me.’
‘Not if I’m with you. Proceed gingerly.’
The roar of the streets filled Dick with nervous terror, and he clung to Torpenhow’s arm. ‘Fancy having to feel for a gutter with your foot!’ he said petulantly, as he turned into the Park. ‘Let’s curse God and die.’
‘Sentries are forbidden to pay unauthorised compliments. By Jove, there are the Guards!’
Dick’s figure straightened. ‘Let’s get near ’em. Let’s go in and look. Let’s get on the grass and run. I can smell the trees.’
‘Mind the low railing. That’s all right!’ Torpenhow kicked out a tuft of grass with his heel. ‘Smell that,’ he said. ‘Isn’t it good?’ Dick sniffed luxuriously. ‘Now pick up your feet and run.’ They approached as near to the regiment as was possible. The clank of bayonets being unfixed