The Open Gates of Mysticism. Aleister Crowley
that you don't notice it. And very likely, on the whole, the best way to pass over the incident pleasantly is to turn it into a kind of joke.
And I must say that Feccles showed the tact of a perfect gentleman in avoiding any direct allusion to the circumstances that caused the circumstances that were responsible for the circumstances that gave rise to the circumstances which it wasso, difficult to overlook.
Well, you know, this man Feccles had been a perfect dear the night before. He had seen Lou through the worst of the business with the utmost good taste at the moment when her natural protector, myself, was physically unable to apply the necessary what-youmay-call-it.
Well, of course, the way things were at the moment, I wished Feccles in the place that modem Christianity has decided to forget. But the least I could do was to ask him to lunch. But before I had time to put this generous impulse into words, Lou sailed in like an angel descending from heaven.
She went straight up to Feccles, and she positively kissed him before my eyes, and begged him to stay and have lunch. She positively took the words out of my mouth.
But I murst admit that I wanted to be alone with Lou-not only then, but for ever ; and I was most consumedly glad when I heard Feccles say :
" Why, really, that's too kind of you, Lady Pendragon, and I hope you repeat the invitation some other day, but I've got to lunch with two birds from the Bourse. 'Ale have a tremendous deal coming off. Sir Peter's got more money already than he knows what to do with, otherwise I'd be only too glad to let him in on the rez-de-chaussle."
Well, you know, that's all right about my being a millionaire, and all that. It's one thing being a single man running round London perfectly happy with a shilling cigar and a stall at the Victoria Palace, and it's quite another being on a honeymoon with a girl whom her most intimate friends call " Unlimited Lou."
Feccles did not know that I had spent more than a third of my annual income in a fortnight. But, of course, I couldn't tell the man how I was situated. We Pendragons are a pretty proud lot, especially since Sir Thomas Malory gave us that write-up in the time of Henry VIII. We've always been a bit above ourselves. That's where my poor old dad went gaga.
However, the only thing to do was to beg the man to find a date in the near future to fight Paillard to a finish.
I think Paillard is the best restaurant in Paris, don't you ?
So out comes a little red pocket-book, and there is Mr. Feccles biting his pencil between his lips, and then cocking his head, first on one side and then on the other.
" Confound Parishe said at last. " A man gets simply swept away by social engagements. I haven't a thing for a week."
And just then the telephone rang. Lou did a two-step across to the instrument.
Oh, it's for you, Mr. Feccles," she said. " However did any one know you were here ?
He gave his funny little laugh.
"It's just what I've been telling you, Lady Pendragon," he said, as he walked over to the receiver. " I'm a very much wanted man. Every one seems to want me but the police," he giggled, " and they may get on to me any minute now, the Lord knows."
He became suddenly serious as he talked on the phone.
"Oh, yes," he said to the caller. " Very annoying indeed. What's that ? Four o'clock ? All right, I'll be round."
He hung up. He came back to us radiant, holding out his hands.
"My dear friends," he said. "This is a special providence-nothing less. The lunch is off. If your invitation holds, I shall be the happiest man in Europe."
Well, of course, there couldn't be two men like that in Europe. I was infernally bored. But there was nothing to do except to express the wildest joy.
It didn't add to my pleasure to see that Lou was really pleased. She broke out into a swift sonata.
" Let's lunch up here," she said. " It's more intime. I hate feeding in public. I want to dance between the courses."
She rang down for the head-waiter while I gave Feccles a cigarette, lamenting my lack of forethought in not having insinuated a charge of trinitro-toluol amid the tobacco.
Lou had a passionate controversy with the head waiter. She won on points at the end of the sixth round. Half an hour later we started the gray caviare.
I don't know why every one has to rejoice on gray caviare ; but it's no use trying to interfere with the course of civilisation. I ate it; and if I were in similar circumstances to-morrow, I would do it again.
In the immortal words of Browning, " You lied.. D'Ormea, I do not repent." Beside which, this was no ordinary lunch. It was big with the future.
It was an unqualified success from the start. We were all in our best form. Feccles talked freely and irresponsibly with the lightness of champagne. He talked about himself and his amazing luck in financial matters; but he never stayed long enough on any subject to make a definite impression or, you might say, to allow of a reply. He interspersed his remarks with the liveliest anecdotes, and apologised towards the end of the meal for having been preoccupied with the deal which he had on at the moment.
" I'm afraid it's literally obsessing me," he said. "But you know it makes, or rather will make, a big difference to my prospects. Unfortunately, I'm not a millionaire like you, old thing. I've been doing very well, but somehow, it's gone as easy as it came. But I've scraped up twenty thousand of the best to buy an eighth share in this oil proposition that I told you about."
"No," put in Lou, " you didn't tell us what it was." " I made sure I had," he laughed back; " I've got it fairly on the brain, especially since that lunch was put off. I need another five thou', you see, and I was going to dig it out of those birds. The only difficulty was that I can't exactly borrow it on my face, can ! ? and I don't want to let those birds into 'the know'they'd simply snap the whole thing up for themselves. By the way, that reminds me of a very good thing I heard of the other day-" and he rattled off an amusing story which had no connection with what he had been saying before.
I didn't listen to what it was. My brain was working very fast with the champagne on top of the other things. His talk had brought to my mind that I should have to wire for another thousand to-day or to-morrow. I was aware of a violent subconscious irritation. The man's talk had dealt so airily with millions that I couldn't help recognising that I was a very poor man indeed, by modern standards. Five or six thousand a year, and perhaps another fifteen hundred from the rents of the Barley Grange estate, and that infernal income-tax and so on-I was really little better than a pauper, and there was Lou to be considered.
I had always thought jewellery vulgar; a signet ring and a tie pin for a man-for a woman, a few trinkets, very quiet, in good taste-that was the limit.
But Lou was absolutely different. She could wear any amount of the stuff and carry it off superbly. I had bought her a pair of ear-rings in Cartier's yesterday afternoon-three diamonds in a string, the pendant being a wonderful pear-shaped blue-white, and as she ate, and drank, and talked, they waggled behind the angle of her jaw in the most deliciously fascinating way, and it didn't vulgarise her at all.
I realised that, as a married man, it was my duty to buy her that string of pearls with the big black pearl as a pendant, and there was that cabochon emerald ring I How madly that would go with her hair. And then, of course, when we got back to England, ihe must be presented at Court, not but what we Pendragons don't feel it a little humiliating-that meant a tiara, of course.
And then you know what dressmakers are !
There's simply no end to the things that a civilised man has to have when he's married ! And here was I, to all intents and purposes, a case for out-door relief.
I came out of my reverie with a start. My mind was made up.
Lou was laughing hysterically at some story of a blind man and a gimlet.
"Look here, Feccles," I said. " I wish you'd tell me a little more about this oil business. To tell you the truth, I'm not the rich man you seem to think-"