The Greatest Works of Aleister Crowley. Aleister Crowley
and thunder Against the juice of a flower ? Ay I in the roar and the rattle Of all the armies of sin,
This is the only battle
He never was known to win.'
You children are the flower of the new generation. You have got to fear nothing. You have got to conquer everything. You have got to learn to make use of drugs as your ancestors learnt to make use of lightning. You have got to stop at the word of command, and go on at the word of command according to circumstances."
He paused. The dire need of the drug kept Peter alert. He followed the argument with intense activity.
" Quite," he agreed, " and just at the moment, the word of command is 'go on.'"
The face of King Lamus flowered into a smile of intense amusement; and the girl at the desk shook her thin body as if she were being deliciously tickled.
Intuition told me why. They had heard the argument before.
" Very cleverly put, Sir Peter. It would look well in a broad frame, very plain, of dark mahogany, over the mantelpiece, perhaps."
For some reason or other, the conversation was pulling us together. Though we had had no dope, we both felt very much better. Cockie fired his big gun.
" It's the essence of your teaching, surely, Air. Lamus, that every man should be absolute master of his own destiny."
" Well, well," admitted the Teacher with an exaggerated sigh, " I expected to be beaten in argument.
I always am. But I, too, am the master of mine. 'If Power asks Why, then is Power weakness,' as we read in the Book of the Law; and it's not my destiny to give you any drugs this morning."
" But you're interfering with my Will," protested Cockie, almost vivaciously.
" It would take too long to explain," returned Lamus, " why I think that remark unfair. But to quote the Book of the Law once more, 'Enough of Because, be he damned for a dog.' Instead, let me tell you a story. "
We tactfully expressed eagerness to hear it.
" The greatest mountaineer of his generation, as you know, was the late Oscar Eckenstein."
He went through a rather complicated gesture quite incomprehensible; but it vaguely suggested to me some ceremonial reverence connected with death.
" I had the great good fortune to be adopted by this man; he taught me how to climb; in particular, how to glissade. He made me start down the slope from all kinds of complicated positions ; head first and so on; and I had to let myself slide without attempting to save myself until he gave the word, and then I had to recover myself and finish, either sitting or standing, as he chose, to swerve or to stop ; while he counted five. And he gave me progressively dangerous exercises. Of course, this sounds all rather obvious, but as a matter of fact, he was the only man who had learnt and who taught to glissade in this thorough way."
" The acquired power, however, stood me in very good stead on many occasions. To save an hour may sometimes mean to save one's life, and we could plunge down dangerous slopes where (for example) one might find oneself on a patch of ice when going at high speed if one were not certain of being able to stop in an instant when the peril were perceived. We could descend perhaps three thousand feet in ten minutes where people without that training would have had to go down step by step on the rope, and perhaps found themselves benighted in a hurricane in consequence. "
" But the best of it was this: I was in command of a Himalayan expedition some years ago ; and the coolies were afraid to traverse a snow slope which overhung a terrific cliff. I called on them to watch me, flung myself on the snow head first, swept down like a sack of oats, and sprang to my feet on the very edge of the precipice. "
" There was a great gasp of awed amazement while I walked up to the men. They followed me across the mauvis Pas without a moment's hesitation. They probably thought it was magic or something. No matter what. But at least they felt sure that they could come to no harm by following a man so obviously under the protection of the mountain gods."
Cockie had gone deathly white. He understood with absolute clarity the point of the anecdote. He felt his manhood shamed that he was in the power of this blind black craving. He didn't really believe that Lamus was telling the truth. He thought the man had risked his life to get those coolies across. It seemed impossible that a man could possess such absolute power and confidence. In other words, he judged King Larnus by himself. He knew himself not to be a first-rate air-man. He had flattered himself that he had dared so many dangers. It cut him like a whip that Lamus should despise what people call the heroic attitude ; that he looked upon taking unnecessary risks as mere animal folly. To be ready to take them, yes. " I do not set my life at a pin's fee."
Larnus had no admiration for the cornered rat. His ideal was to make himself completely master of every possible circumstance.
Cockie tried to say something two or three times; but the words wouldn't come. King Lamus went to him and took his hand.
" Drugs are the slope in front of us," he said, " and I'm wily old Eckenstein, and you're ambitious young Lamus. And I say 'stop I' and when you show me that you can stop, when you have picked yourself together and are standing on the slope laughing, I'll show you how to go on."
We knew at the back of our minds that the man was inexorable. We hated him as the weak always hate the strong, and we had to respect and admire him, detesting him all the more for the fact.
Chapter II.
Indian Summer
We went out gritting our teeth with Mingled rage and dejection. We walked on aimlessly in silence. A taxi offered itself. We climbed into it listlessly and drove back here. We threw ourselves on our beds. The idea of lunch was disgusting. We were too weak and too annoyed to do anything. We could not trust ourselves to speak; we should have quarrelled. I fell into a state of sleepless agony. Our visit to the studio had burnt itself into my mind. I imagined the flesh of my soul sizzling beneath the white hot branding iron of Lamus's Will.
I reached out my hands for this diary. It has relieved me to write it down in all this detail.
I found myself on fire with passionate determination to fight H. and C. to a finish; and my hands were tied behind my back, my feet were fettered by a chain and ball. I wouldn't be made to stop by that beast. We'd get it despite him. We wouldn't be treated like children ; we'd get as much as we wanted and we'd take it all the time, if it killed us.
The conflict in myself raged all the afternoon. Cockie had gone to sleep. He snored and groaned. He was like one's idea of a convict. He hadn't shaved for two days. My own nails were black. I felt sticky and clammy all over. I hadn't dressed myself. I had thrown my clothes on carelessly.
Cockie woke about dinner-time. We couldn't go down as we were. We were suddenly stung by the realisation that we were making durselves conspicuous in the hotel. We had a horrible fear of being found out. They might do something. It was all the worse that we didn't quite know what. And we felt so helpless, almost too weak to move a finger.
Oh, couldn't we find some anywhere I...
My God ! what a bit of luck. What a fool I am. There was one packet of H. in the pocket of my travelling dress. We crawled towards each other and shared it. After the long abstention, the effect was miraculous.
Cockie picked himself up almost fiercely. The desperate anguish of our necessity drove him to swift resolute action. He sent for the barber and the waiter. We had the maid pack our things. We paid the bill and left our heavy trunks in the hotel, explaining that we had been called away suddenly on business. We put our dressing cases into a taxi and said, " Euston, main line."
Cockie stopped the man at Cambridge Circus. " Look here," he said in an eager whisper, " we want some rooms in Soho. Some French or Italian place."
The man was equal to the problem. He found us a