The Mastery of Success. Thorstein Veblen
It can be done if it is gone about properly. It is done every day. It is easy with some, and hard with others, but it can be done with all of these watchful partners if you will only keep pecking away at it.
Never take "No" for an answer. Pursue the same plan in business that you would if you were courting the girl you loved. In the latter case, a "No" or two, or a dozen for that matter, would not count. Pursue the same tactics in your business, and you will win the day. Fortune is feminine, you know, and possesses all of the characteristics of the sex.
Suggestions gain force by repletion. A man may reject a proposition when first made, but upon hearing the same thing over and over again, he will come to believe it. No wonder, you believe it yourself from the mere repletion of it, and why shouldn't he. Moreover, a suggestion may produce no apparent effect at the time it is given, but may be like the seed planted in fertile soil, which will have sprouted by the time you come again. By talking properly to the Active partner and getting him interested you have enabled the passive brother, actuated by curiosity (of which he has a full share) to draw near and overhear your conversation. He will often think over the overheard words after you have gone, and the next time you come he will manage to get an interview with you, in spite of his stern brother. "Love laughs at locksmiths," and so does the Passive fellow at his brother - sometimes. You should carry the above mental picture of the two functions of the mind - the Active partner and his Passive brother. With this picture in your mind, you will be able to direct your suggestions to the best advantage, and also to guard yourself against the suggestions of others.
In influencing a man with whom you come in personal contact, you will not have to depend entirely upon the power of suggestion in overcoming the watchfulness of the Active partner of his mind. You will be aided by two powerful allies, i.e., direct thought waves consciously projected by your mind, and by the involuntary adductive qualities of thought. These powers can be highly developed by the exercises, which will be given you during this course of lessons. You will also learn how to acquire characteristics calculated to aid you in making a good impression upon the Active brother, who is apt to be impressed by external appearances.
There is one thing, which you must learn, however, and that is Confidence and a belief in you ability to master this subject. It is like a boy learning to swim. The swimming power is inherent in every boy, but he doesn't believe it. As soon as he believes that he can swim - he swims; but so long as he believes that he "can't"- he cannot. He may improve in the art of swimming by practice, but he had the swimming power in him from the beginning, and all he needed was belief. You can do it, and have but to strike out. You can begin on easy exercises at first, but you must have Confidences from the start. Some men discover this by accident, and do not know the reason for their success. You know the reason, now, and can do as well and better than the man who has stumbled upon the truth.
A Little Worldly Wisdom
How to influence the Active partner – Conversation - The art of listening - Carlyle and his visitor - A delightful conversation - Keep yourself positive – Appearance – Apparel -Clean linen – Perfumes – Cleanliness – Manner – Reserve – Temper – Fearlessness - Self-Respect - Consideration for others – Frankness – Earnestness - Firm handshake - The eye - Tone of voice - A useful rule - How to remedy deficiencies in manner.
In the preceding lesson I compared the two functions of the mind of each individual, to the two brothers - partners in a business enterprise. For the convenience of explanation, I will continue this illustration, which is quite applicable to the real state of affairs.
This Active partner is a "particular" old fellow, and needs considerable humoring, and careful handling. He is influenced, to some extent, by the conversation, appearance, manner, voice, eye, etc., and each Active partner has his own tastes and peculiarities, although there are some things, which they all have in common. As to conversation, we should if possible ascertain what interests, but do not make the mistake of talking too much. "Give the old man a chance." You should talk until you get him well started on a favorite topic, and then you keep quiet. You should cultivate the art of listening, for it is one of the most valuable accomplishments in the world. Many a man (or woman) has risen to a high position simply by being a good listener. You may remember the old tale told of Thomas Carlyle. A visitor once called on him, and being a good listener and a student of human nature as well, managed to get him started talking on a favorite subject. Carlyle talked for over three hours without giving the visitor "a chance to get a word in edgewise." When the caller at last rose to depart, Carlyle accompanied him to the door, in a surprisingly good humor, and bade him good-bye saying, "Come again, Mon., we've had a most delightful conversation." Do you see the point? Listen attentively to the old Active partner, and act as if each of his words was a bright golden dollar, fresh from the mint - but do not fall under the influence of his spell. Pay earnest attention to what he says, but do not let his thoughts produce any real impression upon you, or else he will be selling goods to you, Passive partner. Keep yourself positive, not negative, for you will have a word to say to the easy brother after the old fellow becomes "intoxicated with the exuberance of his own verbosity," and relaxes his vigilance. By all means cultivate the art of intelligent listening.
As to appearance, I would advise you to avoid the two extremes of flashiness and dowdiness, respectively. Keep in the middle of the road. You should particularly avoid clothing calculated to attract special attention, either by its extreme style or the reverse. The apparel should be simple, neat and clean. Do not wear a shabby hat or muddy, shabby shoes. To this effect, even a fine suit of clothes is lost. Always wear clean linen. These things count. Eschew the use of strong perfumes. To most men, strong perfumes are an abomination. It is scarcely necessary to add that personal cleanliness is an important prerequisite for obtaining a favorable hearing with the majority of Active partners, even though they may not be too particular themselves. Your manner should be pleasant and cheerful, yet not frivolous. A certain degree of reserve is desirable. Your temper, of course, should be well under control. Anger is a sign of weakness - not strength, and the angry man is always placed at a disadvantage. You should be absolutely fearless, both physically and morally, the latter being the rarer quality. If you are quick tempered, or apt to give way to fear of misfortune, or worry, etc., you should pay particular attention to the lesson on Character Building, and correct these defects.
Your manner should convey the idea of self-respect, but should likewise show a delicate consideration for the likes and dislikes of others. If you lack the latter quality, you should cultivate it by all means, as it is of paramount importance in creating friends and in gaining the favor of Active partners, the latter being only human in spite of their rough exteriors. If you will carry in your mind this thought: "I act toward you as I would like you to act toward me," and make the thought take form in action, you will acquire this valuable quality.
Cultivate a frank, open manner. Most people like it. Be earnest when you talk. It not only holds the attention of the people to whom you are talking, but is a valuable aid to you in having your suggestions accepted, and, besides, is an important factor in imparting force to your thought vibrations. Cultivate a firm, honest, manly handshake. Nobody likes to have thrust upon him a flabby limp hand. You don't yourself. Do not forget this. If you have not the proper handshake, start to work and get it at once. Shake hands with everyone as if he were your best girl's millionaire father. And then look people square in the eye. I will have more to say about the power of the eye, in the next lesson, but I wish to call your attention to it in connection with the hearty handshake. The two go together.
Cultivate an agreeable tone of voice, avoiding a mumbling utterance on the one hand, and a loud boisterous tone on the other. An excellent rule is to pitch the voice to the tone of the party with whom you are conversing, providing always that you do not shout in order to keep pace with the other person. If the other man shouts, keep you own voice even and subdued, and he will soon drop to your pitch. This, by the way, is a good plan to a adopt with a person who is excited and is attempting to give you a good "tongue lashing." In such a case keep your temper and see that your voice is subdued and steady, and you will find the voice of the other man (or woman) gradually dropping down to your pitch. As