Two at the slap. A play for 2 people. Nikolay Lakutin

      ALBERT (in a similar tone): I want to remind you that we had a fight then because I caught you with a neighbor on the side, while you were my girlfriend!

      ISOLDE (loudly, nervously): Yes, you misunderstood everything! I wasn't with him at all. I'm just with him… simply…

      ALBERT (in a similar tone): He just helped you get a letter out of the mailbox!

      ISOLDE (loudly, nervously): Yes!

      ALBERT (in a similar tone): While being in a surprisingly ridiculous position!

      ISOLDE (loudly, nervously): The box jammed, I couldn't open it, he tried to help!

      ALBERT (in a similar tone): Face to face!

      ISOLDE (loudly, nervously):

      ALBERT (in a similar tone): Lips to lips!

      ISOLDE (loudly, nervously): Don't make it up! It was all just your imagination. We were in different planes, the dispersion of light, the refraction of solar fluxes and the displacement of perspective relative to the view from the landing of the stairwell… You just saw everything wrong and as a result-misunderstood!

      ALBERT (sarcastically, nervously): Oooh, yes, I see the physics department did not pass in vain! After all, knowledge was useful in life!

      Isolde exhales with relief.

      ALBERT (sarcastically): So! The interference is mine, wave interference. Let's clear up the situation, at least for the next fifteen minutes. Are you my girlfriend now?

      ISOLDE (slowing down): Yours! And the girl and the wife…

      ALBERT (interrupts): Civil!

      ISOLDE (slowing down): …civilian…

      ALBERT (coming to a consensus): Well, there! While everything is fair between us, I suggest that we move our purely abstract and not tied to personalities dialogue to the bedroom, and continue there. And then, memories of Thailand came flooding back…

      ISOLDE (romantically): And for me about Turkey… I approve this proposal. They crawled!

      Music is playing.

      Isolde crawls away first, followed by Albert crawling away in the same direction. The facial expressions of both are quite promising, everyone understands everything, the matter is "serious".

      ZTM.

      2 Сцена

      There is already another slap lying on the stage, from the right foot, but also one. Albert and Isolde return from the shower, both cheerful and cheerful.

      ALBERT (enthusiastically, shaking the water out of his ear with a towel): Yes, Zola, I haven't seen such a quickness from you for a long time. (Thinks, remembers) Two days already as!

      ISOLDE (changes in mood): What do you mean? And these couple of days have you been feeling bad?

      ALBERT (PREVARICATING): Yes, no, why, on the contrary…

      ISOLDE (interrupts nervously): On the contrary? So you were feeling bad just now?

      ALBERT (getting hot): Yes, why is it bad? Did I say that it was bad?

      ISOLDE (interrupts nervously): Yes, that's exactly what you just said!

      ALBERT (nervously): Yes, I mean, did you say?

      ISOLDE (freaks out): Yes, it's clear in every sense that you insulted me as a woman!

      ALBERT (furious): I praised you, you fool!

      ISOLDE (freaks out): Go you…, with your such praises…, to the neighbor!

      ALBERT (in a rage): And I'll go!

      ISOLDE (in a rage): And go!

      ALBERT (in a RAGE): And I'll go – I'll go!