Applied Love. Alexander Koptyakov

Applied Love - Alexander Koptyakov


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1 Problems

      Writer: It was a warm, dry Moscow evening. We walked to the Hermitage Garden Park with my wife and her friend. I looked around so that by the time we got there they would not be hit by cars at traffic lights. They talked with enthusiasm about life. We haven't seen each other for a long time, the news has accumulated. I walked alongside and listened with the edge of my ear. “Problems” … Problems here, problems there, and with this and this, there are many problems. Oh, these women's conversations! What if it's really a problem ?! I felt uncomfortable. And it seems that, personally, everything is in order for me, but when you love someone, and that someone has problems, as if you have them. I decided to help somehow and carefully wedged myself into the conversation:

      – Girls. Do you know how problems differ from tasks?

      – How?

      – Now, if you need to do something, but it is not clear how much time, money, or personal energy it will take, then this is a problem. But if you know about the time frame, and you will not need fantastic money, and you seem to be able to do it, then this is a task! Even if you need a lot of money, or time – a year or a few, it is still a big task, but a task. If we figure it out in this way – what do you have more: problems or tasks?

      – Mmm… If you look like that, then there are no problems at all. There are many tasks…

      We just came to the entrance to the park. My heart was relieved and it even seemed that the evening had become brighter. We could already hear the sounds of jazz from the stage, so we went straight to it and completely surrendered ourselves to music and relaxation…

      Consultant: After all, a writer is a writer! How beautifully you know how to tell! Meanwhile, after you told me this story for the first time, I immediately used it in my book "Management for Dummies". You are a writer, but I write and publish books! Funny, isn't it?! :)

      Engineer: FIRE!

      Writer: Oh my God! What's on fire?

      Consultant: Don't panic! We all get up together and calmly walk to the exit. We do not use the elevator, we go down the stairs.

      Engineer: Stop, stop, stop. You don't have to go anywhere, I was joking.

      Consultant: Joking?!

      Engineer: More precisely, I conducted an experiment. To test a hypothesis. Look, I said just one word – "fire", and each of you started programs in the nervous system. The writer got excited instantly, and you have a program of action. And not surprisingly, you said that the security department conducts regular training fire alarms in your company there. So it turns out – one word, and immediately the release of hormones, increased heart rate, activation of certain nervous complexes. While you are calming down, I will finish the thought. It turns out that the Writer is absolutely right. You use the word “task” instead of the word “problem” and a completely different internal state, less anxiety, psychic energy is not spent on experiencing. Of course, without self-hypnosis – "I am the most charming and attractive", just a blow with facts and logic on problems! I draw on the board …

      Consultant: I propose not to be satisfied with what has already been achieved and to deal one more blow to the problems. Here you drew an arrow to the problems when there is uncertainty. But we try to avoid problems – the so-called negative valence in Kurt Lewin's field theory. And if you imagine something for which there is no time, effort and money, but what we strive for, what we want to achieve or get. What's the best word?

      Writer: Dream!

      Consultant: Dream – great! Here comes the second blow to the problems!

      Consultant: I remembered the third blow to the problems – anecdote …: A Jew comes to a rabbi:

      – Rebbe, there are so many problems in life, so many problems! What to do?

      – Don't worry, God gives a person as many trials as he can endure. Therefore, either you will cope with your problems, or these are not your problems! :)

      Writer: It seems to me that we have groped for a good deed. By simply asking himself the right questions, a person can get rid of most of the problems in their head by transforming them into tasks or dreams!

      Engineer: But you can even translate a dream into a task …

      Consultant: Wait, wait. Don't touch the dream with your engineering hands! :)

      But seriously, it is very sad to see how people thoughtlessly use words, and do not use the richness of the language. From generation to generation, the most frequently used words, which most fully reflect the essence of things, have been fixed in the language. Words, in turn, are connected at a deep level with neurophysiological programs, as you rightly noted: fire – we run, problem – we are worried, task – we do not worry and we solve the task, dream – we are dreaming :)

      Writer: Writing was brought to Russia by the Slavic educators Cyril and Methodius, they created the alphabet and began translating from the Greek language, first of the biblical, and then of other texts. It's not just one word for another to change – it was necessary to convey the meanings! And this matter is more complicated than – "mirror" as "solid water" – for the natives to translate. It was necessary to put all the huge worldview and cultural layers of the Greek civilization accumulated at that time into Cyrillic texts for our ancestors. Just imagine the thought process of two holy people in the IX century, burying the gold of the Bible and ancient philosophers in the land of the Russian language between turnip and buckwheat under a torch burying the gold of the Bible. We still have to dig up and dig up. And we not only do not think about the roots and meanings of words. On the contrary, we use them so carelessly that a real devaluation occurs, and entire universes of meanings are cut off from human experience. Take the same “love”. Ask who on the street – what is “love”? What thoughts will move in your head? Hearts on postcards, sexual love, love for the homeland? Are there many meanings behind this? Eh, problem …

      Consultant: Well, don't worry so much. Let's get back to the positive from where we started. There is a good approach for careful word handling that actually works. Many management techniques are ways to translate problems into tasks with the subsequent achievement of a result.

      Engineer: Techniques, methods, methodologies … Just don't be offended. Personally, I believe in science. And now, as my wife says, “every gopher is an agronomist”. And everyone has their own ingenious idea, their own method.

      Consultant: You are right, science is broader. But the distinguishing characteristic of any method is that it works, it actually works. Although, it is possible in a limited area. I have thoughts on this, but come on next time? I already got tired somehow.

      Writer: Let's start with this. See you again, my friends!

      02 Methods

      Consultant: Well, well, I promised to tell you about the methods. Organizational development, which I am engaged in, is difficult to call an established science. Rather, it is a collection of theories and methods. At the same time, largely thanks to our conversations with you, it is no longer enough for me to simply apply working methods, knowledge and skills. I dug deeper. Now I'll tell you with a simple example… Who and when was the last one on a fishing trip?

      Engineer: Oh … I haven't been for a thousand years. Work-home-work. I began to catch myself thinking that I was waiting for my retirement so I could start fishing again. As you and I were then at the end of school – the beginning of the university.

      Writer: I'm afraid NOT to be mistaken if I say that the last time I went fishing was with you… twenty years ago. Have you decided to upset us?

      Consultant: Not at all. Just a good example. Imagine: a person is hungry and wants to eat fish. What will an ordinary kind person offer? That's right – fish. What will the consultant-methodologist do? That's


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