Test-&-mend. Juanna Artmane

Test-&-mend - Juanna Artmane


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she was beaten. People referred to “IT”, using the pronoun “Him” – as to a “Man”. For Hannah, this partly explained the cruelty of “the Creature” – if “IT” indeed existed.

      Leila insisted on looking at Hannah’s future, too. She was keen to leant, how soon the wedding would take place and how many children Hannah would bear. Obviously, nothing else was expected from the girl’s life. The expression on the molla S face changed rapidly, when she saw the Koran page that fell out for Hannah. Her eyes widened in surprise and she sighed, as if something terrible was written there. This happened to amuse Hannah: the object of consideration burst out laughing in the face of the doom.

      “Hush, hush, girl!” – said the molla in an irritated manner and after a while added: “You will be married to a man – not from this Land. He is the man from the land of the evil spirits and cold.” By “evil spirits” she meant Christians. Any other religion apart from Islam was thought to be wrong and people who were not Muslims were referred to as “filthy”. She proceeded: “ Two children of the same gender… You, my girl, should pray to God so that Shaitan did not have a chance to lead you astray. You should devote your life to religion, otherwise your life will be a contradiction to the norm!”. A mixture of surprise and alert was ringing in her voice.

      These words were taken at face value by Leila. She got pale, becoming deathly white in countenance at such predictions: “What exactly does “the contradiction to the norm” mean, anyway?” Would her daughter become a social outcast? Even a thought of it made Leila feel nauseated.

      For Hannah’s disbelieving ears, the words of the prophet were a feast: she rejoiced at the idea of not getting married to Ibrahim.

      Leila, sheepishly looking at the molla, asked if there was anything she could do to prevent the bad things of such future; if they could somehow influence the events and make them in accordance with their plan. The molla, with a solemn expression on her face, did not give the answer immediately. She stared at the table, analyzing and calculating in her head, what could be sold to this desperate woman and what price it would be reasonable to announce.

      – Well, there are plenty of things which can be of a real help in your situation, – the molla went on counting suras (verses from Koran), arranging them in a decreasing in price order. By the astonished look in Leila’s eyes, the molla could guess that the pricetags were really unaffordable. With a desire to strike a lucrative deal she offered Leila to choose the one, which was commonly bought and which proved effective in most cases. They finally agreed on a moderately priced one.

      One may wonder at how a verse from Koran could be bought. Mollas created a profitable business through their Religion. They took verses from The Sacred Book and copied them on a piece of paper in Arabic. Then they folded the handwriting into a small envelop like rag, which a customer should carry on himself for the rest of his life. People were ready to fork out on such things. Better than that they were looked upon as shields against all horrors of life. The harshness of the reality was too unbearable for the sufferers; and turned them literally into “drowning men catching at the straw of Koran”.

      Chapter 5:

      The parting

      One thing that marred Leila’s mood at that time was the unpredictability of life. The sense of instability in any sphere of her existence frightened her more than death. At least in the latter there was permanence. Good or bad, it did not really matter so much, but the things had to adhere to a certain plan, which was formed partially by the society and partially by the fate.

      The truth was that she knew her son better than Abdul did. Since times immemorial, Ali preferred to learn about his children’s achievements through his wife's narration, where Ali was presented as a poor lamb. The reality turned out to be far from the wife’s tales.

      Ali used to talk about the local traditions with obvious contempt. He was sniffy about anyone who did not live up to his inner highbrow standards. Moreover, he had little or hardly any respect to the thought of marrying a girl, inferior to his own intellectual level. All these factors contradicted Leila’s ideal image of her son’s blissful future.

      Now two outsize suitcases were put at the entrance door, inviting Ali into the world of new experiences. One of the bags was stuffed with eastern sweeties: oil dripping baklavas; kurabiyes and other homemade delicacies, which had been baked by Leila within the previous two days. Although Ali was more than glad to eat outdoors and hated the local cuisine (as well as everything related to the city), he put on a semblance of gratitude to Leila’s efforts.

      The other case was filled with warm clothes: knitted sweaters and woolen socks, which his mum prepared for him, either, with exquisite care. Ali looked at these room-size trunks as a burden, which he had to carry leaving the country. For him it felt as if the local execrable stuff were clinging onto his departing limbs. But for his distressed mother, he would have shaken the things off. Sometimes his remarks inadvertently made his true attitude quite clear. Though most of the time, he thought, he succeeded in hiding it from the person, who brought him up and knew him better than he did himself.

      Wearing a black suit with a blue-striped tie, Ali caught his reflection in the mirror. The realization of the fact, that he did not look like those curious European fellows on TV, made him sick. He was aware of his air of a villager, radiating from his persona: his countenance, gestures, glances.

      Beside the mirror, there were standing his dad and granddad. They were all dressed in the same way. Only the color of their ties was different. This particular scene gave Ali the pang of his inevitable future – that is the one if he, by any chance, recklessly returned to the “boondocks”. The mere thought of such a denouement made him cringe.

      “What a man! You did a good job! My son!” – Husein, Abdul’s father, was talking to his son, referring to Ali.

      Being a former counterespionage employee during the decades of the Evil Empire, Husein was a sophisticated man. He could better than anyone predict the course of coming events and, probably, former trade endowed him with the ability to see people inside out. The youth in front of him evoked various calculations in Husein’s mind. To be exact, there were different ramifications, which Ali’s studies abroad might entail. So hopeful and confident the lad seemed to him, that he doubted to see him again in this city of limited possibilities. Yet he wisely kept the thought to himself.

      Close friends and relatives gathered up in the patio to see Ali off. Women with glasses of water in their hands were waiting in a line. Each of them was letting out soothing words to Leila.

      The local superstition held the following: if you threw water after the leaving person, it would guarantee their success in places, wherever their road was supposed to take them, and even more – a sure come back home. For Ali, who mocked at the superstitions, it was the most irritating thing – to hear the wishes to come back safe and sound. But he clenched his teeth and habitually smiled in the face of all the people around.

      Observing his brother, Hannah had ambiguous feelings. She rejoiced at his success and at the same time felt sorry for herself. She did not want to be a girl, she hated being a female, she hated being treated the way she was! A rebel was rioting in her system. The thought was materializing into physical pains. She felt a tight rope binding around her neck and pulling tighter, whenever she wanted to gulp. She wanted to tear that rope apart and shout to her father, to all those people standing around, to the society of the city, that she was not worse than the boy, they were applauding to; and she could prove, if only she was given an opportunity, that a woman was in no way intellectually inferior to a man. She would if she could!

      There were no direct flights from the city of “N” to Munich, so Ali was first taken to the train, which would bring him to the capital of the country. Abdul and Husein accompanied him till the station, leaving the women at home.

      Meanwhile, the females were trying to console Leila. Each of them was saying something encouraging from their own experience. One of them, called Ulduz, went too far, comparing Leila’s experience to the death of her brother: “I bet you will forget him in six months!”. Then, giggling in a childish way, she added: “When I lost my brother, it was painful, but it lasted roughly


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