Morphine the phantom of love. Ром Амор
what do you do?’ asked my new acquaintance with sparked interest in her eyes.
‘I’m a test pilot.’
‘Test pilot?!’ she burst out delighted.
‘Not really, I was just making a joke, in fact I am just an employee in a big company.’
Her enthusiasm died down.
‘And you?’
‘I work in marketing, but my heart is not in it, I like painting. That is why I create designs for various products.’
Marina named a few brands noting that their designs were developed with her help.
‘Quite interesting,’ I remarked.
‘In fact, not quite. I’m actually thinking of quitting my job.’
‘How come?’
‘This job simply steals too much time from me, and I have none left for my hobby.’
‘Interesting. I hope you’re not drawing in children’s colouring books?’
‘No. I prefer Japanese manga, if you know what I mean.’
We both laughed. She was pretty damn witty too.
‘What’s your hobby?’
‘I earn money.’
‘Boring.’ She deliberately yawned.
The waiter brought us the menu. My acquaintance was lost before all the choices. Whereas I was replaying in my head her saying that she was engaged, looking at her fingers that displayed a couple of nice rings. I could never remember which finger wedding rings went on, as I was not an expert at these things.
‘Could you suggest anything?’ she asked as she flipped through the menu.
I readily responded to her request and after enquiring about her preferences, I recommended my favourite dessert. The order was made.
‘Marina, has anyone ever told you that you were very beautiful?’ I let the sentence slip thinking: “Why did I ask something like that, what a fool, of course she has been told.”
‘Thank you.’ The girl accepted my inept compliment. ‘The weather is excellent today,’ she said looking through the window flooded with the sun and enquiring about what I was doing in the park.
‘Taking a walk. The weather is gorgeous indeed. And you?’
‘My office is nearby, and it is lunch time,’ she said as she flapped her lashes and looked at her watch, ‘was lunch time.’
‘Do you have to go?’ I asked barely able to conceal disappointment in my voice, fearing that someone might be waiting for her and that our time together could end here and now.
‘No. I have agreed to have a cup of coffee with you. And they still haven’t brought us our coffee,’ said the beautiful woman reassuring me.
‘That’s good.’
Actually, on that same day I experienced a feeling that is widely known as love at first sight. Marina was divine. Her looks, voice, manner of speech and being. I was spellbound from the very first minute. And each subsequent minute with her I felt growing attraction. It was a string of electrical charges between two people, a string that bound, warmed and drew two hearts to each other.
We drank hot chocolate, talked, nibbled on sweets, laughed. And our conversation became more casual. As I walked her to her office, I finally mustered the courage to ask: ‘Marina, when we first met, you said that you were engaged, is that true?’
She stopped, took off a ring from one finger and put it on the other hand.
‘No, it was a meaningless phrase.’ Marina turned her face away and then looked at me with great tenderness and faith. I decided not to delve into the details of why she had said that, I was just happy to have such an opportunity. I did not let the opportunity slip away and immediately asked her on another date.
I took our first photo out of the box. We were strolling on Khreshchatik on our second date and she dragged me into a photo booth where you sit and grimace while it clicks away giving out an entire strip of photos. I obviously looked like an idiot on most of the photos. But these are precisely those photographs that captured on film her incredible laugh.
Today I would give anything to merit this woman’s laugh.
The fire in the fireplace was flaring at times and then subsiding. It was time to throw in some more wood. I sat back in the armchair and threw back my head.
‘Why did you go?! Why did you leave me?! Marina, Marina…’ My eyes were filled with sadness and my blood spread a fire in my body that was burning my heart.
I was alone and I wasn’t. Physically the apartment is at my disposal. But I know that her presence always accompanies me. And perhaps, even now, this quiet evening, she is feeling sorry for me, calling on the fire to warm me as she can no longer do herself.
The bell rang. I got up to get the door.
‘Valeria?’
‘Hello,’ said a girl wrapped in a scarf waiting at the doorstep. ‘I apologise for not calling first but I don’t even have your number.’
‘Come in,’ I said.
‘I’ll only be a second. I might have forgotten my clutch here.’ She looked around, bent down and from behind the couch pulled something that belonged to her. ‘Here it is. It appears that when I was leaving, I was in such a rush that I dropped it. Are you okay? You look preoccupied. Is anything wrong?’
‘No, all is well. I just wasn’t expecting you.’
‘Vova, if you give me your telephone number it would be easier to agree on lessons.’
‘Unfortunately, I don’t have a phone.’
‘You don’t have a phone? How could that be in the twenty first century?’ Her eyes were out on stalks.
‘That’s just how it is’ I said smiling.
‘No mobile or landline?’ she asked to verify.
‘No.’ I really did not have a phone. Nor did I have people to call or who could call me. And there are no phones in the otherworld.
‘Has anyone ever told you that you’re strange?
‘Yes, has anyone ever told you that you’re strange?’ she asked looking at me in disbelief still.
‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ I asked having decided to show hospitality.
‘Yes, gladly. It’s freezing outside today, and at your place the fireplace is burning as usual.’ Without taking her coat off, she walked into the hallway seeing the burning fireplace in the studio.
‘Yes, I too keep warm as it turns out.’ I remembered that I did not have tea. I usually have coffee. ‘I offered tea but I don’t have any. Maybe some coffee?’ I asked apologetically.
‘No, thank you. I don’t have coffee in the evenings. Well then, maybe some other time.’
‘I can run to the store downstairs,’ I proposed without really knowing why.
‘It’s really not a big deal, don’t bother,’ Valerie assured me.
‘Make up your mind. I have to go out for cigarettes anyway.’ I began putting my jacket on.
‘Maybe you’re busy and I’ll be keeping you from something?’
‘It’s not a problem,’ I said trying to show hospitality again, besides it was clear that she was truly freezing. ‘Take your coat off and go into the kitchen, I’ll be back in five minutes.’
He closed the door as he went out. I was left alone. But I had a feeling that someone was nearby. I unbuttoned my coat and approached the fireplace to warm up. It was a nicely ornamented old fireplace executed in black marble with brown wood inlays. I wonder how they got the permission to install it in a five-storey building. Judging by the