Gypsy Jane. Jane Lee
when all of a sudden the ex appeared in front of me. She had about six mates on the other side of the road. I now had a license to batter her. I never stole her bloke, I thought to myself. They split up long before I was with him. I gave her a bit of a pasting and, when I got home, the police were waiting for me. She was in hospital, they told me, and I was arrested for GBH. Would you believe it?
I told the law it was self-defence and they said Paul’s ex had written a statement against me and it looked bad. I told them she was nutty and it was all lies, and I produced the letters she had sent me. They dropped the charges. But two months later I got another letter from her saying that she and Paul were carrying on behind my back. I confronted him about it and he denied sleeping with her and I believed him. He did admit going round to her house for the sake of their kids. I couldn’t believe it. We had done his flat up so his kids could visit him, yet he was going to her house instead. I lost it. I started hitting him for just that reason. This woman had sat in a police station and written a statement against me and he was still in contact with her. He’d betrayed me and by now I knew I could never forgive a traitor. What a disappointment he had turned out to be. It was over. I’d looked up to this man, trusted him and would have died for him, and he wasn’t what I believed he was.
I knew he was hurting about our break-up but he was out of my life for good. I was gutted and sad but I knew there was no going back. But then one day I was told he had accused me of grassing him up after the police pulled him up on his bike for stealing scrap metal. I couldn’t be sure he had said it, but I had a reputation to protect. To make things even worse, by then I had got my fingers in a lot of criminal pies. I went mad. Call me what you like but not a grass. Nobody believed him but it had been said and I had to defend my reputation. If he had said it, he couldn’t have realised how far I would go to protect my name. He thought that, because I loved him, I wouldn’t blow him away. Well, sorry, I love my reputation more. I went home and got my guns. I was going to war. I was going to blow his fucking head off. I’d had enough.
I knew he was living at the flat we had done up and I set myself up in the flats opposite with a sniper’s rifle. It was an M16 carbine with three settings. Automatic, semi-automatic and single shot. I had it on the single-shot setting because I had a bullet with Paul’s name on it. I know it was mad. But I wanted to kill him. He wasn’t there and I waited for days but then I was spotted. It soon got around that it was me in the flats opposite with the rifle and now Paul was saying I was a hit woman but I didn’t care. As I said, call me what you like apart from a grass. And anyway, ‘hit woman’ had a sort of ring to it. Luckily for him, I never saw him. And I’ve never seen him since. The marriage was over. That’s one relationship I regret, as we were the best of friends all our lives and a lifelong friendship was ruined within a year. But time is supposed to heal everything and I even came to regret the way we split. I have no hard feelings towards him now. I wish him and his family all the happiness in the world. Maybe this had only been retribution anyway. I believe God pays debts without money. I was still with Brett when I slept with Paul so this was payback.
I was still OK. I had my son and we were very close. John was growing into a handsome young man. He was a lot like me in many ways. He was so loyal and his personality was amazing considering he was an only child. He didn’t have a nasty bone in his body, even though I spoiled him rotten. He had a heart of gold. Don’t get me wrong. If you mess with him, he will do you. That’s how he was, just like me. But if you were good to him, he would die for you. Everybody loved him though.
I had only given birth to one child, yet it was like I had a hundred, as John’s mates practically lived at our place. I bought him a caravan and parked it on the drive. It was like the local youth club in there. They had a stereo, PlayStation and everything they needed, and they loved it. It was better than them walking the streets, in my book. He was happy and that was all that mattered.
I was on my own though, money was short and, to tell you the truth, I was bitter. As I’ve said, I always knew there was another side to me but now it was out and here to stay, at least for a while. If there’s one thing I always tell people it’s that there were two of me. There was Jane and there was the Gran. And my advice to them was to be friends with Jane and not enemies with the Gran. Jane will love you, look after you, help you and never do you wrong. The Gran will shoot you or stab you. She will destroy you and love every minute of it. The choice was yours. It wasn’t that I wanted to be the Gran. Life just didn’t seem to let me be Jane.
I was told about a particular security guard who regularly took some £10,000 from businesses to the bank. I watched him for a couple of weeks before I took on the job. It was a success but I will be honest – I just about got away with that one by the skin of my teeth. After I grabbed the money bag, the guard started chasing me and he was not only bloody fast but seemed to have forgotten about my sawn-off. Now there was one man who did actually have balls. But I just made it to the car ahead of him and sped off. I couldn’t believe he had come after me. I mean, I hadn’t wanted to shoot him. Not really. On my jobs a shooter was just there as a deterrent. You never really wanted to use it. Anyway, I got away with it. Just.
I had just bought a car for £2,000 and I was able to pay off that debt. I paid the bloke who gave me the information and I ended up with £5,000 left over. With that I bought a kilo of speed and a kilo of puff to sell on. I always liked puff myself, as it calmed me down – not a bad property for it to have in my case. When my world seemed like it was surrounded by barbed wire and thorns, I had a smoke and everything turned to roses and lilies. It was an illusion, I know, but sometimes, when everything is dark, who can blame you for putting the lights on, even if it’s a false light? It helped and, God, by now I needed a bit of help. Some people’s vice is drinking but mine was always puffing.
Now the Gran was really taking over because Jane couldn’t cope anymore. Everything she did just got stamped on and abused so I had to put her away where nobody could hurt her. If anybody tried to hurt the Gran, well, it would be their funeral.
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