Manhood is a Mindset. J. Colin Trisler
there’s more to being king than getting your way all the time,” Mufasa said with a smile as he casually moved back toward an area of more solid footing. Young Simba, as if by instinct, followed his father away from the edge of the rock and asked “There’s more?”
Mufasa chuckled at his son’s natural curiosity. And with great thoughtfulness he instructed him on the importance of living with wisdom. In harmony with the circle of life that surrounds him.
When Disney originally released The Lion King in theaters in 1994, I was in my mid-teens. So watching it today with my own family in my middle-aged years conjures up a fond sense of nostalgia. As a teenager, I identified more with the character of Simba, the impulsive lion cub who embodies the carefree joy and adventurous potential of a young man who has his whole life ahead of him. These days, as a husband and a father and a pastor, I identify more with king Mufasa, the responsible patriarch who dedicates his life not only to governing his kingdom with justice and righteousness, but also to leading his family with strength and love.
The scene at Pride Rock especially resonates with me. The visual of the wise father sitting high and mighty alongside his young son, who is much smaller but sitting just as upright, is an image as powerful as any scene of heroic battle. It reminds me that a man doesn’t have to use his fists to be a hero. A hero isn’t the man who can hit the hardest or run the fastest. A hero is the man who does the right thing in the right way and for the right reasons. By this definition, any man can be a hero. Even the one who does something as simple as relating to his family with a sense of respect and responsibility. The father who invests time and effort into his relationship with his son is just as heroic as any mighty king. And the son who honors his father’s effort with his attentiveness is just as heroic as any brave knight.
Son, with this letter, you and I will follow Solomon’s lead and take the first step on our very own hero’s journey. I will establish myself as your instructor and you will be my student. As Henry Jones Sr. did with Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr., I will give you the truth you need to succeed in your journey toward manhood. And as Mufasa did with Simba, I will equip you with the understanding you need to avoid the shadowy fringes of life—those formless voids that lie beyond the borders of truth, goodness, and beauty—and teach you to set your mind on everything the light touches.
That is my job as your father. Your job as my son and my student is to take hold of my words and utilize them to illuminate your mind and let the light of God’s wisdom radiate within you like a majestic sunrise.
But in order to accomplish your job, you must first honor my effort with your utmost respect and attention.
Father to Son
Prov 1:2–6
After introducing himself as the author in v. 1, Solomon opens his discourse by asserting his God-given parental authority over his son.9
Notice how he doesn’t hunch down to the boy’s level and present himself as his buddy. He stands tall and upright as the boy’s father, forcing his son to turn his gaze upward and approach him with veneration. When he speaks, he speaks with authority and commands the respect that comes with the title of daddy.
God had appointed Solomon as the boy’s father. That made it his job to provide his son with the influence and instruction necessary to live a meaningful life. Notice how Solomon doesn’t use his authority to intimidate his son. Nor does he seek to tear him down or provoke discouragement. Instead, his goal is to build him up in his image. As a man of wisdom. A man of integrity. A man of God.
He establishes this as his intention from the outset by introducing the discourse in this way:
“2To know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, 3to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; 4to give prudence to the naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, 5a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, 6to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles.” (1:2–6, emphasis added)
From the outset, Solomon establishes a relational hierarchy between him and his son. He, the father, takes on the authoritative role of instructor, while the son adopts a subordinate role as his student.
As the student, the son’s job is to meet three specific responsibilities:
1 To know wisdom and instruction. Learning is a cooperative process, not a passive one. Solomon’s job is to teach, and his son’s job is to learn. He calls on his son to know wisdom and instruction—that is, to memorize his words, get a handle on his instructions, and absorb them into his consciousness. As the student, the boy is responsible for taking an active role in the learning process. He is to pay attention to his father, observe his behavior, and acquire from him the knowledge he lacks as a young man just starting his journey into manhood.
2 To discern the sayings of understanding. Wisdom, however, is more than memorized facts. Memorization is an essential part of learning. But true learning also requires an active mind that grapples with ideas and develops those memorized facts into rational concepts. The student who thinks on a conceptual level understands how things work. He gains understanding when he’s able to answer the two primary questions of any idea: How? and Why? He then gains insight when he’s able to recognize, to discern, the logic that underlies his teacher’s instructions. Such understanding and discernment provide a solid foundation for authentic learning.
3 To receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice, and equity.10 The purpose of this instruction is the application of wisdom in day-to-day living. That means the son is to receive his father’s instructions and integrate them into his way of life. He is to use this knowledge to live with a sense of integrity—that is, to deal with others in a way that is wise, righteous, just, and equitable.11
By opening the discourse in this way, Solomon shows that he’s embraced the responsibility of being a wise father. He doesn’t step aside and farm out his parental responsibilities to someone else. He steps up, like a man, and asserts himself as his son’s chief source of wise counsel. He knows it’s his job to give prudence to his naive and youthful son who lacks life experience.
The son’s lack of experience doesn’t make him immoral. It simply makes him a young man in need of guidance. By describing him as young and naive, Solomon isn’t insulting his son—he’s relating to him. Remember, Solomon too was once an inexperienced young man. He understood all too well the insecurity that comes with raw youthfulness because, as we covered in letter 1, he experienced that same fear as an untested king.
Here, Solomon acknowledges that young people especially have a great need for wisdom. Teenage years are a precarious time in every man’s life. In those years more than any other, a young man needs to develop a good sense of wisdom and discretion. Ever the wise father, Solomon takes the time to give his son the anchor he needs to navigate the chaotic waters of youth culture. His goal is for his son to obtain the guidance necessary to increase in learning and adopt the mindset of a wise man. That fact is why he aims this entire discourse directly at his son.
And that’s why I’m writing these letters to you, my son.
Like Solomon, I have resolved to honor the sacred responsibility of being a father. I will take on the responsibility of being your instructor. In response, I expect you, as my student, to do your job and meet the same three responsibilities Solomon expected of his son.
Again, those responsibilities are:
1 to know the wisdom and instruction I am teaching you,
2 to make the effort to understand my words of insight and obtain the knowledge necessary for success,
3 and to receive my words and live out God’s standards of wisdom, righteousness, justice, and integrity in your everyday life.
Son, if we’re going to succeed in this venture, you and I need to respect each other. You must respect me as your father and your instructor. I must respect you as my son and my student. And we must both respect God and embrace the individual responsibilities he has