A play for 2 people. An invented life. Comedy. Nikolay Lakutin
seems to be unfair, but on the other hand, it is very right that everything is exactly like that.
Olchik (with a hit-and-run). What is right? Have you ever given birth? You know what toxicosis is, what it is – don't pick it up, don't run around here, take care here. What is only a spoiled figure worth! Yes, this alone outweighs the scales in favor of the injustice of the balance of birth and death, not to mention everything else.
Semchik (calmly, judiciously). In an ideal, or even just in a conscious society – yes! Of course, your truth is 200%. But this is not our case. Unfortunately, Olcha, our world systematically and tirelessly generates ignorance. How much dirt, rot, meanness in the hearts of people. Not everyone, of course, has a minority, but, alas, an active minority! Now imagine what the world would become if these active ignorant minorities were as tenacious as the same cats. Murderers, rapists, robbers, swindlers… Continue?
Olchik jumps up from his chair. She is practically shaking with indignation and indignation, but there is nothing to oppose Semchik's iron argument, and this angers even more.
Olchik (nervously, with a psycho). What did you do?
Semchik (taken aback). What?
Olchik (nervously, with a psycho). Did you just prove me wrong?
Semchik shrugs his shoulders in confusion.
Olchik (nervously, with a psycho). You could have just kept silent, like all normal men, no, you had to trample me into the dirt, show the breadth of your perception and my worthlessness, respectively! And you did it brilliantly! Burn you in hell for this, you brute! I hate you!
Olchik quickly leaves, nervously waving his arms and stamping his feet.
Semchik throws up his hands in misunderstanding of what he said. Silently, he moves his lips, thinks something about himself.
He addresses the audience, also with a psycho, jumping up from his chair.
Semchik (nervously, to the viewer). What kind of creatures are women anyway? You are silent – bad! If you open your mouth, you get even worse. Praising means flattering, scolding means you are biased. Yes, what you won't say, or what you won't keep silent about, what you won't do – you'll screw up anyway! How, tell me, do I even communicate with these pretentious creatures?
Semchik goes to the table, nervously grabs something there, shoves it into his mouth, chews… Gradually an interesting thought comes to his mind, he calms down.
Semchik (nervously, to the viewer, with his mouth full). Although… Although, actually, there is an idea… (He keeps the intrigue, chews, drinks, speaks normally.) And what if men and women could speak the same language and understand each other at a glance… They would be, as they say, on the same wave!
A blissful smile can be seen on Semchik's face.
Intriguing music sounds.
ZTM.
Scene 2. Mutual understanding.
A positive musical composition sounds.
Olchik enters with a bottle of mineral water. Dressed specifically. Sneakers, wide trousers, a T-shirt, a bandit cap on his head. The gait is pale. A specific kid.
He takes off his cap, throws it to the side, not even looking where. He spits on his hands, smooths his hair on his head. Opens mineral water, drinks from the throat greedily, in big gulps.
Semchik enters in a dressing gown and boots. Moaning, holding his head, he looks pained.
The musical accompaniment subsides and ends.
Semchik (howling plaintively). Ahhh, my head is splitting.
Olchik (in his own way). Hey, playboy. Here you go, the mineral water is cold, now it's the very thing. It will let go a little. At the very dryness, the cap is hard.
Olchik throws a mineral water, Semchik catches it, immediately begins to drink it from the throat, also with greedy sips.
Olchik (carefully falling into a chair). Oh, we sat yesterday… (He turns a dubious look at Semchik.) Or lay down?
Semchik (drunk). What am I? Do I remember?
Olchik pulls off one of his sneakers from his foot, sniffs it, winces at the unpleasant smell, throws it aside. Removes the second one, throws it far away. He pulls off his socks, throws them anywhere, tries to get as comfortable as possible on the chair.
Semchik carefully sits down in another chair, trying to hold his head so as not to shake it once again. He pulls off his boots with difficulty, quickly catches the smell of his feet (his own), which does not add to his mood, throws his boots away from himself and from his girlfriend.
Semchik (languidly, painfully). It's so good that you and I understand each other.
Olchik (practically interrupting, categorically supporting). In general, nishtyak! I was watching a fantastic movie here on shift to pass the time, so there was one married couple who generally communicated somehow incomprehensibly. It seems like both people are about the same age, the only difference is that he is a man, and she is a woman. So they had no mutual understanding there at all!
Semchik (frowning, not understanding). What do you mean? What kind of nonsense is this? How can a man and a woman not understand each other? Who took off such a mess?
Olchik (enthusiastically). That's what I'm saying, fantastic! Of course, this can't be, the bazaar is zero! But listen, as an example, there was a situation.
Semchik (frowning, but with interest). Well?
Olchik (enthusiastically). In short, the girl, there at the very beginning of the story, invites the guy she likes to her for tea. He agrees, they go into her apartment, and the girl begins to cling to him gently. She tries to kiss him, hug him, but he pushes her away, does not understand what is happening. He asks what she is doing, because she called for tea, but she herself…
Semchik (frowning, but with interest). Wait! She called for tea, and she wasn't going to treat herself to tea, was she?
Olchik (enthusiastically). That's the whole point, no! The guy freaked out. I walked around the apartment, except for a straightened bed, a filled bubble bath and lit candles, I saw nothing. There was no smell of tea there. He, of course, freaked out and left. And then this girl called her friend on the phone, complained about this guy that he was so stupid that he didn't understand hints and all that.
Semchik (frowning, but with interest). I mean, does he not understand the hints? She called for tea, and she cheated! What hints can there be? Some crazy girl. Candles, a bubble bath, a bed… She's up to something illegal anyway, I'd tear my claws out of there too, fuck such stories!
Olchik (enthusiastically). Here! Can you imagine if there really were such fools? Is it possible to talk hints with guys?
Semchik (stretching). With us only in direct text, preferably the most direct and several times, for fixing, otherwise there is no way. There was some really strange lady in this movie. It looks like you've been watching some black stuff. So what? How did it end there? Did she drag anyone into her trap?
Olchik (curtailing the discussion). I don't know. Turned off this nonsense. Why look at something that can't be in life.
Semchik (supporting). Reasonable! But you know, women are fools, they say they meet in real life. A man, for example, came after work on Friday, took a drink (shows a gesture of drinking, a finger on the throat), of course. And his wife starts to nag him. Or there, during the week, a "pretty one" came, or just like that in broad daylight "threw himself". I've heard some people yell. And the fact that a man has the end of the working week, or someone's birthday, or maybe it's just bad at Heart, so they don't even allow the thought about it.
Olchik (supporting). I also heard that there are such. Real insanity. Thank God, you and I are normal.
Semchik (thoughtfully, judiciously). Yes… If there were someone like that in your place, a girla with a jerk, she would be shouting now, "clucking." I would be satisfied with an unnecessary and useless debriefing.
Olchik (practically interrupting, categorically supporting). There are, there are women – fools, what