Legend of the Peeing briton. Павел Тюрин

      The contemporary Barbies are rather tired now of Ken’s image and they prefer the image of the manly Briton. ‘Out of the mouth of Briton hast thou ordained strength’ – children whispered. The time of the new heroes has come, and so a group of initiative parents who are not indifferent to their children’s problems obtained support of the methodists from the Republic’s DMES[43] (department of Ministry of Education and Science) who were asked to address the directors of the puppet theatres.

      They asked to ensure that the idol of their children would be included in the new season’s productions. The puppeteers heard the parents’ plea and thought of a serial puppet show. Currently several children’s writers are working on creating a version of the Blockhead’s adventures in the wonderful land on the Amber Sea.

      Our youth has indeed organised itself spontaneously in support of courageous Richie. Particularly active were anime lovers as they became famous for their demonstration of extravagant hairstyles, alternative behaviour, and infantile conduct. Sometimes even punks and freaks[44] show up in their meetings who are unconventional in all they do. These were bold and reckless personalities who didn’t give a damn if others thought them idiots. They can’t stand the culture that represses their impulses.

      As soon as the Riga events of the 11 November 2006 became well known, they were thought a manifestation of the commencing struggle for liberation of the humankind from the tortures by culture. Their views have soon developed from the cult of the Japanese anime heroes to the Blockhead worship, which symbolises eternal freedom.

      They started to gather on the corner of Kr.Valdemara street and Raina prospect at the PB bar that is now called ‘Preses Bārs’ (PB); thus hinting on their connection to the ‘Peeing British’. When their movement was at the embryo stage the anime lovers were fearful of the government repressions. So they chose that place to mask their preferences and let the authorities believe that the bar served as a gathering place for the future members of the prestigious and mercenary journalistic field.

      From time to time they host targeted discussions with the freaks (talk-shows or, more precisely, fuck-shows) whether to merge with the Blockhead movement and if so, how to keep expressing themselves independently. The question is not easy and remains open, besides the mutual understanding of their meetings is always exposed. Perhaps, this is due to the fact that lovingly they call their cafée факейница.[45] Today they do not need to hide and these young PBers are counting on their unit to be accepted into the Big Club and become its youth branch.

      The children make their own clothes from the colourful fabric scraps, and shock the surroundings. They perfect their sewing talents by making funny hats, chapeaus, and costumes for the Bruxelloi Jules. They send them to their Belgian friends from the ‘The Friends of Manneken-Pis’ who change the ‘wet boy’ several times a week. They have now made and sent about a thousand pieces. They hope to graduate to sewing large-size apparel for his younger or rather older brother, Rick and his monument soon.

      We can be sure that these children will treasure a grateful memory of their childhood friend and will not abandon him in their adult lives.

      Special Service in the PB-Bar[46]

      Sometimes the chavs and the chavettes[47] – the most uncompromising followers of Blockhead come to the PB Bar. They used to drink heavily but now they frequent their favourite, not to order ten shots of whiskey but special custom-made hammers.

      As they sit at their tables the most advanced of the chavs yells out ‘BP!’ and the others respond ‘Always prepared!’ and tap the hammers on certain places of their heads. Then they tap the hammers on the others’ heads so that they could temporarily ‘tap out’ of the common ways of life. Some achieve kaif by making one hard blow; others prefer to tap several times with small pauses or to tap out a beat. Since it is difficult to hit the precise spot on the head, the waiters bring a brain map made by phrenologist Gall along with the utensils.

      There is much stuff in the Blockhead fans’ heads and to keep the novices from making mistakes and help others to evoke the exact sensations from the hammer blows there is always a waiter on duty whose head displays this geography of feelings such as: vanity, pleasure, fear, disgust, dignity, fury

      Naturally it does not subside after the hammer blows, and with each cheer the mates increase the dosage and order heavier tools each time. This tradition stems out from a mere coincidence but not all at once. One day the chavs were short of money to order the next bottle, and they were about to break out a fight. And that’s when the kindly bar tender suggested that they could order (rent) small 50-gramm hammers with their remaining Latvian lat pees. They could use them to tap each other on their heads and that would put a beautiful, glamorous, and problem-free way to end the party. The chavs soon caught on that the effect of such blows on the dome (melon, nut, etc.) is not that different from the state induced by the expensive drinks. They began ordering drinks just to warm-up and then quickly changed drinks to hammers that got heavier with each new round. Usually at the end of their parties they were beating each other’s heads with all they had got, and sometimes the café visitors randomly got a treat, too.[48] After that the entire company, pleased by the acquaintance, crawled out to the city streets where the new adventures and the new legends awaited them.

      Computer Alternative[49]

      Thanks

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