Personal Sketches of His Own Times, Vol. 1 (of 3). Jonah Barrington

13

Mr. Hutchinson, a later provost, father of Lord Donoughmore, went into the opposite extreme; a most excellent classical scholar himself, polished and well read, he wished to introduce every elegant branch of erudition: – to cultivate the modern languages, – in short, to adapt the course to the education of men of rank as well as men of science. The plan was most laudable, but was considered not monastic enough: indeed, a polished gentleman would have operated like a ghost among those pedantic Fellows of Trinity College. Dr. Waller was the only Fellow of that description I ever saw.

Mr. Hutchinson went too far in proposing a riding-house. The scheme drew forth from Dr. Duigenan a pamphlet called “Pranceriana,” which turned the project and projector into most consummate, but very coarse and ill-natured ridicule.

Doctor Barrett, late vice-provost, dining at the table of the new provost, who lived in a style of elegance attempted by none of his predecessors, helped himself to what he thought a peach, but which happened to be a shape made of ice. On taking it into his mouth, never having tasted ice before, he supposed, from the pang given to his teeth and the shock which his tongue and mouth instantly received, that the sensation was produced by heat. Starting up, therefore, he cried out (and it was the only oath he ever uttered), “I’m scalded, by G – d!” – ran home, and sent for the next apothecary!

14

Claret was at that time about 18l. the hogshead, if sold for ready rhino; if on credit, the law, before payment, generally mounted it to 200l.; besides bribing the sub-sheriff to make his return, and swear that Squire * * * * had “neither body nor goods.” It is a remarkable fact, that formerly scarce a hogshead of claret crossed the bridge of Banaghu, for a country gentleman, without being followed, within two years, by an attorney, a sheriff’s officer, and a receiver of all his rents, who generally carried back securities for 500l.

15

Buttered claret was then a favourite beverage – viz. claret boiled with spice and sugar, orange-peel, and a glass of brandy; four eggs, well beat up, were then introduced, and the whole poured in a foaming state from one jug into another, till all was frothy and cream-coloured. ’Twas “very savoury!”

16

A raking pot of tea always wound up an Irish jollification. It consisted of a general meeting about day-break, in the common hall, of all the “young people” of the house – mothers and old aunts of course excluded; of a huge hot cake well buttered – strong tea – brandy, milk, and nutmeg, amalgamated into syllabubs – the fox-hunter’s jig, thoroughly danced – a kiss all round, and a sorrowful “good-morning.”

17

I once saw the inconvenience of that species of fist strongly exemplified. The late Admiral Cosby, of Stradbally Hall, had as large and as brown a fist as any admiral in His Majesty’s service. Happening one day unfortunately to lay it on the table during dinner, at Colonel Fitzgerald’s, Merrion Square, a Mr. Jenkins, a half-blind doctor, who chanced to sit next to the admiral, cast his eye upon the fist: the imperfection of his vision led him to believe it was a roll of French bread, and, without further ceremony, the doctor thrust his steel fork plump into the admiral’s fist. The confusion which resulted may be easily imagined: – indeed, had the circumstance happened any where but at a private table, the doctor would probably never have had occasion for another crust. As it was, a sharp fork, sticking a sailor’s fist to the table, was rather too irritating an accident for an admiral of the blue to pass over very quietly.

18

Mr. O’Kelly is just returned from Paris. Ladies and gentlemen, who are pleased to send their commands to No. 30, Mary-street, will be most respectfully attended to.

Je certifie que M. Guillaume O’Kelly est venu à Paris pour prendre de moi leçons, et qu’il est sorti de mes mains en état de pouvoir enseigner la danse avec succès.

Gardel, Maître à Danser de la Reine,

et Maître des Ballets du Roi.

19

But as he was a Roman Catholic, and as no Roman Catholic could then hold any office in the vice-regal establishment of Dublin Castle, Mr. M. Kelly must have been misinformed on that point as to his father, whom I have often seen. Mr. Gofton, a dancing-master of Anne-street, Linen Hall, and uncle to Doctor Barrett, the late extraordinary vice-provost of Trinity College, was a friend of Mr. O’Kelly’s, and taught me to the day of his death, which was sudden. Under his tuition, I beat time and danced minuets for four years. Doctor Barrett used to carry his uncle’s kit till he entered Dublin College, of which he died vice-provost. He had two brothers; the most promising one was eaten by a tiger in Dublin, the other died a pawnbroker.

20

Waking the piper was an ancient usage. When he had got too drunk to play any more, he was treated as a corpse – stretched out, and candles placed round him: while in this insensible state, they put the drone of his pipe into his mouth, and blew the bellows till he was bloated. This was called blowing-up the piper with false music. It did him no bodily harm, as burnt whiskey and plenty of pepper soon sent the wind about its business, to the no small amusement of the company.

21

The shout of hunters when the game is in view.

22

A coarse dirty apron, worn by working women in a kitchen, in the country parts of Ireland, and exhibiting an assemblage of every kind of filth. Were you to ask a “Collough” why she keeps it so dirty, her reply would be – “Sure nobody never heard of washing a praskeen, plaze your honor’s honor!”

23

Pipers at that time formed an indispensable part of every sporting gentleman’s establishment. My father always had two – the ladies’ piper for the dance, the gentlemen’s piper for occasions of drinking. These men rendered that instrument the most expressive imaginable: – with a piece of buff leather on their thigh, they made the double chanter almost speak words, and by a humorous mode of jerking the bag, brought out the most laughable species of chromatic conceivable.

They were in the habit of playing a piece called “the wedding,” in which words were plainly articulated. The wedding-dinner, the dancing, drinking, &c. all was expressed in a surprising manner. They also played “the Hunt, or Hare in the Corn” through all its parts – the hounds, the horns, the shouts, the chase, the death, &c. If the German who composed the Battle of Prague had heard an old Irish piper, he never would have attempted another instrumental imitation of words.

24

The Irish patriots demanded 30,000 stand of arms from Government, which the latter not being so circumstanced as to enable them to refuse with safety, they were delivered to the volunteers, from the ordnance stores in Dublin Castle, and distributed among those corps which were least able to purchase arms.

25

The pranks formerly played in Ireland on Allhallow-eve, were innumerable. The devil was supposed to be at large on that night, and permitted to make what prey he could among the human species, by bringing them together. His principal occupation was therefore thought to be match-making, and it was whispered that he got more subjects, and set more Christians by the ears, through the sacrament of matrimony, than all his other schemes put together. Matches were then frequently made by burning nuts, turning shifts, &c.