The Tales of Uncle Remus / Сказки дядюшки Римуса. Книга для чтения на английском языке. Джоэль Чендлер Харрис
Rabbit got him a great, long switch and hit the Horse on the rump – POW! The Horse jumped up and landed on his feet and there was Brer Fox, dangling upside down in the air, too far off the ground for peace of mind.
“Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! Hold ’im down!”
The Horse felt something on his tail. He started jumping and raring and bucking and Brer Fox knew now what was wrong with Brer Rabbit’s idea.
“Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! Hold ’im down!”
The Horse jumped and twirled and snorted and bucked, but Brer Fox hung on.
“Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! Hold ’im down!”
One time Brer Fox managed to shout back, “If I got him down, who got hold of me?”
But Brer Rabbit just yelled, “Hold ’im down, Brer Fox! You got him now! Hold ’im down!”
The Horse started kicking with his hind legs and Brer Fox slid down the tail. The Horse kicked him in the stomach once, twice, three times, and Brer Fox went sailing through the air. It was a week and four days before Brer Fox finally come to earth, which gave him a whole lot of time to realize that Brer Rabbit had bested him again[20].
Brer Rabbit Comes to Dinner
It took Brer Fox a while to recuperate, but that gave him a lot of time to scheme and plan on how he was going to get Brer Rabbit.
The very first day Brer Fox was up and about[21], he sauntered down the road. Coming toward him looking as plump and fat as a Christmas turkey was Brer Rabbit.
“Just a minute there!” Brer Fox said as Brer Rabbit started to walk past without speaking.
“I’m busy,” said Brer Rabbit. “I’m full of fleas today and got to go to town and get some ointment.”
“This won’t take more than a minute,” Brer Fox answered, falling into step beside him.
“All right. What’s on your mind?”
Brer Fox gave a sheepish grin. “Well, Brer Rabbit. I saw Brer Bear yesterday and he said I ought to make friends with you. I felt so bad when he finished with me that I promised I’d make up with you the first chance I got[22].”
Brer Rabbit scratched his head real slow like. “Awright, Brer Fox. I believe Brer Bear got a point. To show you I mean business, why don’t you drop over to the house tomorrow and take supper with me and the family?”
Next day Brer Rabbit helped his wife fix up a big meal of cabbages, roasting ears, and sparrow grass. Long about supper time the children came in the house all excited, hollering, “Here come Brer Fox!”
Brer Rabbit told them to sit down to the table, mind their manners, and be quiet. He wanted everything to be just right. So everybody sat down and waited for Brer Fox to knock on the door. They waited a long time, but no knock came.
“Are you sure that was Brer Fox you saw coming up the road?” he asked his children.
“We sure. He was drooling at the mouth[23].”
No mistake. That was Brer Fox.
Brer Rabbit got out of his chair very quietly and cracked the door open. He peeped one of his eyeballs out. He rolled his eyeballs from one side of the yard to the other until they stopped on a bush that looked like it was growing a fox’s tail. Fox’s tail! Brer Rabbit slammed the door real quick.
Next day Brer Fox sent word by Brer Mink that he had been low-down sick the day before and was sorry he couldn’t come. To make up for it, he’d sho’ be pleased if Brer Rabbit would take supper with him that very same evening.
When the shadows were at their shortest, Brer Rabbit went over to Brer Fox’s. He’d scarcely set one foot on the porch when he heard groaning from inside. He opened the door and saw Brer Fox sitting in his rocking chair, a blanket over his shoulder, looking like Death eating soda crackers in the graveyard. Brer Rabbit looked around and didn’t see any supper on the stove. He did notice the butcher knife and roasting pan on the counter, however.
“Looks like you planning on us having chicken for supper, Brer Fox,” says Brer Rabbit like nothing was wrong[24].
“Sho’ nuf,” says Brer Fox.
“You know what goes good with chicken, Brer Fox?”
“What’s that?”
“Calamus root! Seems like I can’t eat chicken no other way nowadays.” And before Brer Fox could blink, Brer Rabbit was out the door and into the bushes where he hid to see if Brer Fox was sho’ nuf sick.
A minute later Brer Fox come out on the porch looking as healthy as a rat in a tuxedo[25]. Brer Rabbit stuck his head out of the bushes and said, “I leave you some calamus root right here, Brer Fox. You ought to try it with your chicken tonight!”
Brer Fox leaped off the porch and took off after Brer Rabbit, but that rabbit was halfway to Philly-Me-York before Brer Fox’s claws touched the ground. All Brer Fox had for supper that night was an air sandwich.
Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby
Early one morning, even before Sister Moon had put on her negligee, Brer Fox was up and moving around. He had a glint in his eye, so you know he was up to no good[26].
He mixed up a big batch of tar and made it into the shape of a baby. By the time he finished, Brer Sun was yawning himself awake and peeping one eye over the topside of the earth.
Brer Fox took his Tar Baby down to the road, the very road Brer Rabbit walked along every morning. He sat the Tar Baby in the road, put a hat on it, and then hid in a ditch.
He had scarcely gotten comfortable (as comfortable as one can get in a ditch), before Brer Rabbit came strutting along like he owned the world and was collecting rent from everybody in it.
Seeing the Tar Baby, Brer Rabbit tipped his hat. “Good morning! Nice day, ain’t it? Of course, any day I wake up and find I’m still alive is a nice day far as I’m concerned.” He laughed at his joke, which he thought was pretty good. (Ain’t too bad if I say so myself.)
Tar Baby don’t say a word. Brer Fox stuck his head up out of the ditch, grinning.
“You deaf?” Brer Rabbit asked the Tar Baby. “If you are, I can talk louder.” He yelled, “How you this morning? Nice day, ain’t it?”
Tar Baby still don’t say nothing.
Brer Rabbit was getting kinna annoyed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with this young generation. Didn’t your parents teach you no manners?”
Tar Baby don’t say nothing.
“Well, I reckon I’ll teach you some!” He hauls off and hits the Tar Baby. BIP! And his fist was stuck to the side of the Tar Baby’s face.
“You let me go!” Brer Rabbit yelled. “Let me go or I’ll really pop you one[27].” He twisted and turned, but he couldn’t get loose. “All right! I warned you!” And he smacked the Tar Baby on the other side of its head. BIP! His other fist was stuck.
Brer Rabbit was sho’ nuf mad now. “You turn me loose or I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.” THUNK! He kicked the Tar Baby and his foot was caught. He was cussing and carrying on something terrible and kicked the Tar Baby with the other foot and THUNK! That foot was caught. “You let me go or I’ll butt you with my head.” He butted the Tar Baby under the chin and THUNK! His head was stuck.
Brer Fox sauntered out of the ditch just as cool as the sweat on the side of a glass of ice tea. He looked at Brer Rabbit stuck to the Tar Baby and laughed until he was almost
had bested him again – (
was up and about – (
the first chance I got – (
was drooling at the mouth – (
like nothing was wrong – (
as a rat in a tuxedo – (
he was up to no good – (
I’ll really pop you one – (