Confessions of a Lapdancer. Литагент HarperCollins USD
then,’ I said, warming to Declan even more, ‘we must compare form some time.’
‘I don’t know how to ride,’ confessed Declan. ‘Well, not horses, anyway … I’m only in it for the investment.’ What a tease, I thought.
I liked this man – he was alpha without being aggressive; smooth without being oily.
‘So pay in the City is not all it’s cracked up to be then?’ he smiled in empathy.
‘Well, it is for the boys,’ I explained. ‘But it seems the girls aren’t always invited to the party.’
‘I’d invite you to my party any time,’ said Declan. ‘If you were ever thinking of changing career, you could walk into a job here. Or shimmy, should I say.’
‘Are you serious?’ I asked.
‘Let’s say I was only half joking,’ he said.
‘OK, I’m curious now,’ I smiled, enjoying the banter. ‘How much could I earn, in theory?’
‘Well, on average, between £400 and £500 a night,’ he said. ‘The big West End clubs pay more but then there’s a list of rules and regulations as long as your arm. Here, it’s more relaxed and there aren’t so many girls on each shift, so you’ll get more tips.’
My mental calculator was doing back flips – I worked out that if I were to do a shift every night from Wednesday to Saturday, 8pm to midnight, for six weeks, I could potentially clear £10k, which would keep Zeus in hay for the foreseeable future, and me with a roof over my head.
‘God, that’s tempting,’ I said, recognising a good deal when I heard one. What was stopping me? Well, one very good reason. ‘It’s just a shame that I have an image to protect. After all, my real job would be down the pan if the guys saw me working down here.’
‘That’s not a problem,’ said Declan. ‘Mayfair’s not our only branch. We have clubs all over.’
His voice was working its charms on me. The answers came slick and easy. Ten grand couldn’t be sniffed at.
‘So, hypothetically, if I were to take up the offer, could you guarantee that income?’
‘Well, there are no cast-iron guarantees,’ said Declan. ‘But with your natural talents, I can’t see there being a shortage of admirers.’
I paused for a moment to reflect as Declan moved behind the bar.
‘Here, I’m sure you could do with this,’ he said, pouring Sauvignon Blanc into a chilled glass.
‘Thanks, you read my mind,’ I said, taking a large sip. ‘Look, you seem to be a straightforward kind of guy, Declan, unlike most of the shits I work with. Between you and me, I was expecting a bigger bonus at work and it didn’t come through so I need the money. Fast. Plus I got such a kick out of dancing last night.’
‘Not half as much of a kick as I did watching you,’ he replied, and we both laughed.
This man had more charm in his little finger than all the guys in the office put together and I felt so relaxed in his company. But I had to be careful – after all, somehow he knew Tania, and I had yet to get to the bottom of that little conundrum.
‘I’m glad you thought I had potential,’ I said, pulling back a little. ‘Perhaps you can help me develop it.’
‘I’d be delighted to,’ he replied.
‘Listen, Declan, I really appreciate your confidence in my ability, but obviously I need to consider this really carefully,’ I told him. ‘I’d be risking my career if anyone found out that I was even speaking to you about this.’
‘Sure, Geri, I understand,’ he said. ‘You take your time.’
‘Thanks, Declan,’ I said, offering my hand. His was big, warm and pleasantly rough.
He escorted me to the door, which was the most gentlemanly act I had been on the receiving end of for some time.
I floated back to the office, buoyed by Declan’s flattery. He really was serious about the job offer, I knew that. But could I really hack it as a lap dancer?
There were a few puzzled faces at Sloane Brothers. Obviously they’d been expecting me to look crestfallen but I felt like I was coming back from a spa. Suddenly the world was full of options.
I closeted myself in my office and told Tania I wasn’t to be disturbed. I needed to think clearly.
You must be out of your mind, Geraldine Carson. Why the hell would a woman like me, who has fought so hard to succeed in a man’s world, go off and do the very thing that might unpick all her efforts?
I started to think about the consequences of being found out – what would happen at work, what would my poor parents think? This was a high-risk strategy, but isn’t that what had got me up the career ladder in the first place?
I had to be honest with myself – the danger factor was the most attractive part of it. I’d always enjoyed chasing a deal, but ever since I discovered my natural talent for riding, I’d also become hooked on the visceral rush.
I’d experienced the same kind of gut-level thrill after dancing at the Pearl, only this time the success of my performance was down to me and me alone. I was the thoroughbred, riding the pole, and it felt good. No, more than good – it felt great.
I had no worries about my physical abilities or showing off my body. Where the serious doubt kicked in was whether I could handle it mentally and emotionally. I imagined a scenario where I’d had a tough day at work and a customer got too familiar with me at the club. It could go one of two ways. Either I’d lose it and unleash a barrage of verbal abuse that might get me sacked, or burst into tears and run off stage.
I thought of Declan and his comforting presence, but he wouldn’t always be there to make sure I was OK.
However, it would be a particularly delicious sort of revenge on Luke and the Brothers to earn money out of using my sexuality when they thought I had zero sex appeal.
I knew I would face moments of self-doubt but getting in touch with my inner sex goddess and parading her in public was too much of an adrenalin high to resist. I just had to be ultra-careful that my two worlds never collided …
My mind was already made up. I picked up the telephone.
‘Declan? It’s Geri Carson here. Can you speak?’
‘I’m all yours.’
‘OK, good. What the hell. Screw the Brothers, screw them all. If the offer’s still there, I’m going to take it …’
Chapter Five
The morning sun streaming into my bedroom window helped me to jump out of bed on that crucial Saturday. In just a few hours, I would be taking my first steps towards becoming a professional lap dancer.
Declan had gotten down to business straight away. He told me there were no guarantees – I’d have to go through the training programme and audition like everyone else. I’d have to impress Jackie, who had been working at the Pearl for years, and if she thought I couldn’t hack it, I’d be out.
That didn’t frighten me – I was in good shape and wasn’t afraid of hard physical work. Declan didn’t seem to have any doubt I’d get through because he had already booked me in for a costume fitting at the suburban Pearl in north London, where I would be dancing.
I got up and switched on the TV to take my mind off the audition. I surfed the channels and found MTV and laughed out loud when the first video I saw was ‘Lap Dancer’ by NERD.
Maybe it was a sign that I’d found my calling.
I did a bit of a shimmy while I watched the lithe, tanned, surgically-enhanced LA chicks on the video and tried to pick up a few tips before jumping in the