The Future Homemakers of America. Laurie Graham
took her eyes off the road for a minute. ‘Biscuits?’ she said. ‘And strong drink? Was that you?’
I said, ‘It was from all of us. Betty. And Lois. The red-head? And Audrey. You remember? The tall one? We wanted you to have a few things.’
‘Well,’ she said, ‘that’s no use expecting a man to get a story straight. John Pharaoh said that was the copper-knob brought it. He never mentioned the rest of you. Was that you brought woollens? And good trousers, hardly worn?’
Seemed like Lois had turned into some kinda angel of mercy. Seemed like she’d decided to fly solo.
‘Well, I thank you very much,’ she said. ‘They were grand biscuits. And them funny sausages in a tin. Champion. Fancy him getting his story wrong. You had a airyplane in trouble this morning, then? We heard the siren a-wailing.’
I tried to signal to her not to pursue that line of conversation, but she was intent on watching me drive.
‘That’s a dangerous thing, flying,’ she said. ‘That’s a mystery to me how a big heavy thing like that stays up in the sky. How they don’t come a-tumbling down every time, I shall never know.’
I was quite expecting Gayle to start up again, but she managed a smile instead. ‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘It’s a mystery to me too.’
There was no sign of John when we dropped Kath off.
I said, ‘I’ll come and fetch you out some time, like I promised? You could come and visit with Betty and see her royal scrapbooks? She’d love that. Drives her nuts, she tells us about all the dukes and princesses and none of us can ever remember who they are.’
‘Well…I could do,’ she said. She didn’t exactly bite my hand off.
I said, ‘Or we could go for a drive some place? Maybe you could take a turn behind the wheel? See how it feels?’
Then you should have seen her smile. It would have lit up the Cotton Bowl.
Gayle said, ‘Are you crazy? She puts a dent in your fender, Vern’s gonna throw a hissy fit.’ I hadn’t really thought about that.
I called in on Audrey, when I dropped Gayle. Told her about the little misunderstanding.
I said, ‘Far as Kath knew, it was just Lois had took the groceries. And she must have been back since, took clothes for them too. Playing the lady bountiful, and never even said a word to us. I’m gonna see her, right now, find out what her game is.’
Aud said, ‘Well, of course, that’s Lois. She has no concept of teamwork. Nor of when enough is enough. I just hope she’s not going round offending people. You know, Peggy, the Pharaohs may be paupers, but I’m sure they have their pride.’
Sandie was drinking red jello from a cup.
‘Don’t know what the hell I did wrong,’ Lois said. ‘Two days in the Frigidaire and it still ain’t set.’
I said, ‘You’ve been visiting John Pharaoh, I hear.’
She looked at me. There was just a flicker. At the time, I couldn’t have said what it was.
I said, ‘You have to tread careful, you know? Audrey was just saying, how you gotta be careful with charity. Give people too much and you might offend them. Or they could just get that they expect more and more.’
‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘I can see the dangers of giving away a couple of Herb’s wore-out shirts. Create unrest and discontent among the natives. Next thing you know, you’ve got an international incident on your hands. There’s probably something in Post Regulations about it. Probably something about putting a fist in Audrey Rudman’s know-it-all face, too, but I may just go for it anyhow. You know how I do love to live life on the edge.’
One thing about Lois. She never bottled things up.
We found a back road with tarmac for Kath’s first lesson.
I said, ‘Now. Hold the gas pedal right there and listen to the engine. Bring your shift pedal up real slow, and keep listening, till you hear the sound changing, then just hold it there. You feel how it’s ready to move? Y’understand what I mean? Okay, let’s roll. Gently now. Just give the gas pedal a gentle squeeze.’
I gave her an hour and she was away.
Kath Pharaoh was a natural-born driver. I’d taught a few. My big sister, Connie, didn’t know her right from her left; and a girl on the base at Carswell, a New York City girl, never used anything but the subway, suddenly found herself with the whole of Texas outside her door. But I never seen anybody take to it like Kath. I just hoped she wouldn’t ask me to teach John too. There was something about that smile of his gave me the creeps. Sometimes when I went to pick her up he’d be round the side, skinning a rabbit or fixing up his traps. He’d smile and smile, like he was real excited to see visitors, specially if Gayle had come along for the ride. She was a pretty little thing and he’d keep sneaking a look at her.
All through the spring of ‘52 I saw Kath twice a week at least and she’d drive me around. She was so thrilled, specially when any of those Jexes and Gotobeds’d seen her. She’d give them some regal kinda wave, and then she’d turn and give me her new Pepsodent grin. One time, when it came on to rain, we stopped and picked up a woman trudging along with heavy bags.
‘Look at poor old Annie gitting drenched,’ Kath said. ‘Can we give her a ride?’
It was a proud moment for her, leaning out of her window, shouting, ‘Jump in the back, Annie, and I’ll drop you near your door.’
She climbed in and perched there, steaming, like a wet dog.
Kath said, ‘You all right there, Annie? Soon have you home. Once you can drive a motor, you wonder how you ever went on without it.’
Not that our passenger had asked. She didn’t say a word, and when Kath stopped, outside one of those crouched-down houses, she just got out and went. Never a goodbye or a thank-you.
I said, ‘Who’d you say she was?’
‘Annie,’ she said. ‘She was Annie Jex, then she married Harold Howgego. Their boy Colin was took prisoner in the last lot; Japs got him. You should have seen him when they sent him home. I’ve seen more flesh on a sparrow. Now, he married a girl from Lynn, and her mother was a Jex, only not the same lot, of course. Annie was one of the Waplode Jexes, and her mother was a Pargeter.’
She killed me, reeling them off. I said, ‘I think you just invent these names.’
‘Why?’ she said. ‘Don’t your lot have Howgegos? I didn’t think there was anything you didn’t have.’
‘Howgegos!’ I said ‘What kind of name is that, anyway? I think you lie in bed at night and dream them up.’
She laughed. ‘No I don’t,’ she said. ‘But I have thought up what name I’d have if I was to be a film star. I’d be Loretta. Loretta Jayne-with-a-Y Pharaoh.’
Kath always put me in a good mood. Didn’t matter how much it blew or rained or if I couldn’t make it, after I’d promised we’d go driving, I never heard a word of discontent from her. It was like having a puppy-dog around, always wagging its tail. She was just as happy to come out to play or curl up in her basket and wait.
I said, ‘Okay, Loretta Jayne, are you gonna turn this car round nice and neat? Can you do it in three?’
‘Piece of cake.’
I said, ‘You think you’ll ever get your own wheels?’
‘When we come up on the Treble Chance,’ she said. ‘First thing I’d do is get