The Midnight Gang. David Walliams
banged straight into the wall.
“OW!” she cried.
“Shush!” said Robin and George. Tom found himself joining in too.
“Shush!”
“Let me!” said George. He guided Robin to one side, and then took over the pushing of Amber. Robin put his hand on George’s shoulder, and like a rather pitiful conga the trio shuffled out of the ward.
“Where are you going?” asked Tom.
“Shush!” the three children replied.
“Can you please stop telling me to ‘shush’ all the time!” protested Tom.
“Just go to sleep, new boy!” hissed Amber.
“But …” Tom protested.
“You are not in our gang!” added George.
“But I really want to be in your gang,” pleaded Tom.
“Well, you can’t be, mate!” replied George.
“But it’s not fair!” moaned Tom.
“Please can you turn the volume down, dear!” snapped Robin.
“YES, BE QUIET!” said Amber.
“I am being quiet!” replied Tom.
“You are not being quiet! You are talking and that’s not being quiet! We all have to be quiet!” said Amber.
“Then you be quiet!” said Tom.
“Oh for goodness’ sake, will you all please be quiet?!” said Robin, a little too loudly.
All the children’s heads turned towards the matron’s office at the end of the ward. Matron stirred a little at the noise, but didn’t wake up. There was a collective sigh of relief.
“The ol’ moo shouldn’t wake up for a couple of hours at least,” said George. “There was one of my special snoozy pellets that Dr Luppers gave me pushed inside each of those chocolates.”
“Well done for remembering she liked the purple ones the best,” said Amber.
“No point ruinin’ a whole tin of chocolates, was there?” replied George with a smirk.
“You crafty devils!” said Tom.
“Why, thank you!” replied Robin, bowing his head as if for applause.
“Now, new boy,” said Amber, “go back to bed right now. And, remember, you did not see a thing! Let’s go.”
With that, the three friends trundled out of the double doors. At that moment the chimes of Big Ben started.
BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!
Tom listened and counted. Twelve bongs. It was midnight.
The boy was sitting up in his bed. Now it was just him and Sally left in the children’s ward. He looked over to her bed. She was asleep, as she had been since Tom arrived in the ward quite a few hours ago.
Despite his swollen head, Tom felt restless. There was no way he wanted to miss out on all the fun. So he took a giant leap into the unknown, and decided to follow them. Tom felt like a super-spy. But the feeling didn’t last. As the boy eased himself out of bed, his left foot went straight into the bedpan on the floor.
Tom couldn’t prise his foot out of the bedpan. The boy wanted to shout out in frustration, but knew this would only make matters worse. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up Matron, who was still snoring away in her office. The boy looked over to Sally’s bed in the far corner of the ward. She was lying in bed, a glint of light from Big Ben just catching the top of her bald head. Tom didn’t want to wake her up either.
At least the bedpan wasn’t full, he thought.
As quickly and quietly as he could, Tom reached down and prised his foot from the bedpan. Then he tiptoed out of the children’s ward. To his annoyance, his bare feet made squelching noises on the shiny floor.
SQUELCH
SQUELCH
SQUELCH
SQUELCH
As his fingers touched the heavy swing doors at the entrance to the ward, he was seconds from freedom. Just then a voice made Tom jump out of his skin.
“So, new boy, where are you going?”
The boy turned round. It was Sally.
“Nowhere,” he lied.
“You can’t be going nowhere; you must be going somewhere.”
“Please just go back to sleep,” pleaded Tom. “You will wake up Matron.”
“Oh no, they do this every night. That nasty woman won’t wake up for hours.”
“I really think you should get some rest.”
“Boring!”
“It’s not boring,” replied Tom. “Now come on, go back to sleep.”
“No.”
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I mean ‘no’. Come on, Tom, take me with you,” said Sally.
“No.”
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I mean ‘no’.”
“Why?” protested the girl.
The reason Tom didn’t think Sally should come was that she looked weak. He was worried that she would slow him down. But he didn’t want to say that. That would hurt her feelings. So he said something else instead.
“Look, Sally, I am just going to catch up with the others and tell them they need to come straight back to bed.”
“Liar.”
“No I’m not!” he said with a little too much gusto, which made him seem like he was lying.
“You are lying. Liar, liar, pants on fire!”
Tom shook his head a little too vigorously.
“I know you must think I’m not going to keep up with you or something,” said Sally.
“No!”
“Yes. Come on! Admit it! I’m not stupid!”
No, thought Tom, this girl is smart. Super smart. There weren’t any girls in Tom’s boarding school so he had hardly met any. Tom hadn’t thought that girls could be smart. The boy immediately had a feeling that this girl could beat him at everything. Tom didn’t like that feeling.
“No, it’s not that, honest,” lied the boy. Then as he stood there looking at her his curiosity got the better of him. “Sally, can I ask you something?”
“You can ask.”
“Why have you got no hair?”
“I decided to shave it all off so I could look exactly like a boiled egg,” replied Sally, as quick