Pastures New. Julia Williams
‘Right,’ said Amy. ‘Well, I’d best get on.’
The encounter unsettled her, and despite Josh’s presence she felt desperately alone. She threw herself into her digging as a way of venting her emotion, but it was no good – seeing Mary again had pulled her back to the life she had left behind. Pictures of Jamie, which she had started to hold at bay here, in her new home, came flooding back.
Amy was on a boat. The sun was shining, and a band was playing on the quayside as the boat pulled out to sea. She could see Jamie up ahead with Josh in his arms, striding towards the outside decks. Why wasn’t she with them? It didn’t make sense. She was glad that Jamie was there. She had a strange feeling, as if something bad had happened to him. But of course it hadn’t. There he was ahead of her. She called his name. But Jamie didn’t turn round.
She hurried to follow them, calling Jamie’s name again. Why couldn’t he hear her? But when she got outside, he and Josh had vanished. Frantically she asked her fellow passengers if they had seen a man carrying a boy, but everyone looked at her blankly and passed on their way.
A feeling of panic was rising inside her. Something was terribly wrong, but by now the boat was docking at a harbour, and Amy was standing on dry land again. The sun burned hot in the sky, and the band was playing an old music-hall tune, louder and louder, faster and faster. People were swirling past her, laughing and joking, having a wonderful time completely oblivious to her.
Up on the boat, she noticed flags waving, and people cheering. Where were Jamie and Josh? Then she spotted them high up on the top deck of the boat. Jamie had his back to her and was bouncing Josh in the air. She called to him again. But he didn’t turn around. Why wouldn’t he turn around?
Up and down. Up and down. Jamie kept throwing Josh, higher and higher. He didn’t hear her shout of warning, and suddenly Josh was falling, falling out of his father’s hands over the side of the boat. Amy screamed and called for help. And finally, Jamie turned to look at her. It wasn’t Jamie at all, but a hideous grinning corpse. Amy screamed and screamed, but no sound came out …
Amy sat bolt upright in bed, sweating profusely. Her heart was beating wildly and her breathing was erratic. She turned the light on and looked at the alarm clock. It was 2 a.m. Beside her in the bed, Josh muttered and moaned. Damn. When had he come in? Amy would have taken him back to bed, but the dream had unsettled her. She felt like company tonight. And the sight of Josh lying safe next to her did a lot to dispel the awful dream picture of him falling, falling, falling. Amy shivered. The thought of losing Josh as well was too much to bear. She couldn’t face trying to sleep again, so she got out a book and read until she could read no more, and the book slid out of her hands.
The morning dawned grey and miserable. Amy felt tired and listless, and Josh, seeming to pick up on her mood, was crabby and badly behaved. She let him watch Spiderman again while she cooked lunch, and then decided they both needed to get out of the house. In her wanderings the previous week, Amy had discovered a little park just before you hit the high street. And as Josh had gone into Spidey overdrive, attacking her at every opportunity, she also decided that it was time she gave Ben his DVD back. If they cut up through the graveyard, Ben’s house was on the way back. So, putting the DVD in her pocket and making a resolute decision to try to be cheerful, Amy and Josh set off.
Ben had just come in from the allotments and was in the shower, when the doorbell rang.
Damn, who could that be? he wondered. He wasn’t really in the mood for visitors. Caroline had just emailed to invite him to spend Christmas skiing with her in Colorado. Dave behind the Bar will B there 2! she had said. It will b great! He was sorely tempted by the skiing. But the idea of being used in one of Caroline’s silly games really didn’t appeal. He was probably on call anyway.
The doorbell rang again. It was most likely Harry, who was about the only person besides Pete who ever came to see him. Ben hadn’t lived in Nevermorewell long, and his job meant he was always slightly wary about making new friends too close to home. Harry tended to pop over sometimes on Sunday evenings, often to ask him to come for a pint. Ben knew Harry was lonely, and found his war stories fascinating, so he never said no. Besides, Ben rarely went to the pub with his own dad, and going out with Harry fulfilled some deep need.
Despite his inclination to leave whoever it was out there, Ben felt he’d better answer it. He shouted, ‘Hang on a sec’, flung a towel around his waist and raced down the stairs to the door.
‘What can I do for you today, Harry?’ he was halfway through saying, when he realised it wasn’t Harry.
There on the doorstep stood a very disconcerted Amy and Josh.
‘Er – we’ll come back another time,’ said Amy, blushing. Up close and personal it was a sudden shock to discover that Ben was, well … sexy. She hadn’t noticed before quite how firm his chest was, or how strong his arms … It must be all that digging.
‘No, it’s fine,’ said Ben, thinking how pretty she looked when she blushed. ‘I’ll – just throw some clothes on. Why don’t you make yourself at home? I’ll bung the kettle on.’
‘Well, if you’re sure …’ Amy sounded doubtful. ‘I was just bringing the DVD back. We can come back another time.’ She seemed destined to always meet this man in the most awkward of circumstances.
‘Why, have you got any better offers?’ he said.
Amy laughed. ‘Hardly,’ she replied. ‘Go on then, where do you keep your teabags?’
While Amy hunted for mugs, Josh was getting bored.
‘Can I go in the garden?’ he asked.
‘Yes, so long as you don’t get into mischief,’ said Amy, ‘and remember, it’s not our lawn so don’t scuff it up.’
Two minutes later, Ben appeared just as Amy was taking two cups of tea into the lounge. Casually dressed in blue shirt and jeans, with his hair still slightly damp from the shower, Amy was totally unprepared for the effect he had on her. Maybe it was the thought of having seen that body so recently unclothed, but Amy was coming out in a cold sweat. She must have been blind not to have noticed how gorgeous he was.
His dark hair was slightly mussed up, and his brown eyes were lively and curious, while his mouth – which seemed to be shaping words that for some reason Amy wasn’t hearing – his mouth was eminently kissable. Her heart beat a little faster and she felt faintly sick. She hadn’t felt like this – well, since she’d met Jamie. Jamie’s face shot into her head. And she felt a sudden lurch of guilt.
They reached the doorway of the lounge at the same time, and Ben stood aside to let her pass. The guilty tension she felt was churned up with a desire she couldn’t repress. She felt dizzy. Then the words he was forming seemed to make sense.
‘Ladies first,’ he said, his smile illuminating his face.
Squeezing past him, a sudden vision hit her of being held by those arms, kissed by that mouth, pressed close to that chest. What was going on?
Understanding for perhaps the first time in her life what was meant by going weak at the knees, Amy mumbled something about tea being ready, before collapsing thankfully on the sofa.
Ben perched on a chair opposite her. There was a long silence, neither of them knowing quite what to say.
‘So, did you enjoy the film?’
‘Have you been on the allotments?’
They spoke simultaneously, and then laughed.
‘You