Positive Thinking: Everything you have always known about positive thinking but were afraid to put into practice. Vera Peiffer
lying down.
• Uncross your legs and arms (crossing your legs and arms creates physical tension).
Note: Physical tension creates mental tension. Mental tension creates physical tension.
• Put one hand on your stomach area, just above the navel.
• Check the main tension points and consciously relax them:
• unclench your teeth
• drop your shoulders
• open your hands.
• Close your eyes and just be aware of the position of your body in the chair or on the bed. Concentrate on your head for a moment, then on your arms, the trunk of your body, your legs.
• Listen to your breathing for about ten breaths. Do not do anything. It is unimportant whether you breathe quickly or slowly, just listen to it.
• Now begin to take deeper breaths. As you breathe in, make sure you breathe in through your belly. If you are doing this properly, the hand on your stomach will rise with your expanding belly. As you exhale, your belly area will deflate and your hand sink down with it.
• Take ten deep breaths through your belly and for each one hold your breath for a count of five, then exhale again.
• Let your breathing go back to normal again.
• Gently tighten all your muscles and, as you release the tension, open your eyes again. You should feel physically calm now.
If you have problems
Are you finding it difficult to make your belly come out as you breathe in?
With your eyes open, try to make your belly round by pushing it out using your muscles. Leave your hand on your stomach so you know what it feels like. Now, combine pushing your muscles out with inhaling. Finally, try inhaling on its own again, making breathing the power that pushes out your belly.
Are you finding that you are not feeling relaxed at the end of the exercise?
Are you very worried about something? Any problems you have may well interfere with your exercise, making it more difficult to concentrate. This is normal. Do not resist these interfering thoughts, because resistance creates tension. Just say to yourself, ‘I can feel that I’m worried about something – this is OK. I will go back to worrying immediately after finishing this exercise. I resume my exercise now.’ Say this to yourself every time you find worrying thoughts interrupting your exercise.
Are you trying too hard to relax? Don’t try to be perfect. This exercise will definitely not solve all your problems; it merely helps to take the edge off any physical tension you may be under, so don’t expect to be comatose by the end of it! Doing this exercise is like taking a step back from everyday life, not more, not less.
Note: The harder you try to relax the less you can do it.
Are you angry at yourself for not relaxing better? Do you find it unbearable not to be the supreme champion at everything you are doing? Are you pushing yourself very hard at everything you attempt? If you have to answer yes to these questions, then it is high time you treated yourself better.
At the moment, you are over-critical and impatient, in other words, you are nasty to yourself. Don’t be! You deserve a break and you have the right to make mistakes and have faults, just like everyone else. Treat yourself like a little baby: with much love and gentleness. Now try the exercise again. You will see that you are doing better this time.
You can do this exercise anywhere, on the bus, on the tube, while you are waiting at the dentist’s, when you are exhausted and don’t have time for a nap, when you are stressed. Breathing properly will help take the edge off anxiety, recharge your batteries and enable you to think clearly.
Breathing deeply means that the entire lungs (rather than just the top halves) are filled with air and that, as a result, more oxygen gets into the blood. Oxygen is needed by the brain to function properly. Furthermore, deep breathing loosens and relaxes the belly muscles and the solar plexus, which is the area around your stomach where a great number of nerves come together. Relaxation of the solar plexus means that your inner organs can work properly. By breathing deeply, you are creating physical harmony.
Mental Holiday Exercise
• Try this exercise immediately after the Breathing Exercise, or choose a time when you are reasonably relaxed anyway. You will have to practise Mental Holiday under non-stressful conditions before you are able to apply it in difficult situations, so perfectionists beware!
• Find yourself a comfortable position and close your eyes.
• Start off by remembering a suitcase or travelling bag of yours. In your mind, see it sitting on your bed, ready packed. As you are looking at the open suitcase, repeat the word ‘holiday’ to yourself. Get into the mood, hype yourself up. See the scene in your mind and feel the elation of going off to your favourite holiday spot. Money is no object, in fact, the more expensive the better.
• You are ready to go. Close your suitcase. Now you are at the airport, station or seaport (needless to say you got there by chauffeur-driven limousine), boarding your plane, train or ship.
• You have arrived at your holiday destination. It is superb and exactly as you would like it to be. In your mind, look at everything in detail – the mountains, sea, beach, trees, countryside, whatever you have chosen.
See yourself moving around, enjoying the beauty of the scenery, feel that sense of elation at being in these gorgeous surroundings. Be there, get involved in your day-dream – make it a thoroughly pleasurable experience to be on this Mental Holiday.
• When you want to get back, just gently tense all your muscles, relax them again and open your eyes – and leave that smile on your face, it suits you!
If you have problems
Are you finding it difficult to imagine your ideal holiday?
Maybe you have not been using your imagination for a while and therefore you have become ‘rusty’. In order to regain the ability to imagine or fantasise, start off with an object in your environment – a plant, the telephone, a picture, anything at all. Look at the object closely, observing every little detail.
Once you have done that, close your eyes and describe the item to yourself, recalling as many details as possible. Now open your eyes again and check whether you remembered the item accurately. The more often you practise this, the better you will become at picturing something in your mind. The fact that you can remember means that you have formed a mental picture of the item. You cannot describe anything that you cannot imagine. Improving your imagination will automatically improve your memory.
Are you finding it difficult to enjoy your holiday?
What marred your day-dream? Did you find it impossible to imagine something as entirely pleasurable, without any flaws? Perhaps you consider this exercise unrealistic and want to tell me that last time you went to Majorca you got landed in that grotty little place next to the main road where you suspect the maid must have taken your earrings because you couldn’t find them anywhere … I’m afraid you didn’t get the point of the exercise.
We all know that life is not perfect. There will always be ups and downs and unforeseen obstacles. This is so, whether we are happy or miserable about it. We cannot do anything about unpredictable events appearing