A Year of Second Chances. Buffy Andrews
on the bed beside me and I picked her up “Now what am I going to do, Muffin? First David leaves, now Tory and Mom and Dad. Soon it’ll be just you and me.”
I snuggled Muffin and carried him over to my bedroom. I climbed into bed, thinking I definitely didn’t need a house this big anymore. Maybe I should move.
I sat in the car in front of the gym, trying to muster the courage to go in. I was thirty pounds heavier than when I was pregnant with Tory and that was two decades ago. Over the years I’d exercised off and on, just like I’d tried one fad diet after another. But as the years passed it’d become harder to keep the pounds off. They settled around my middle, butt and hips and I looked like my mother when I was brave enough to peek into a mirror.
I’ll admit I have a sweet tooth and have been known to down a bag of chips in one sitting, which is why I only buy them for special occasions. But watching girls who were a quarter of my size bend their bodies in ways that looked downright painful without breaking a sweat made me want to turn around and walk back out the door I’d just entered through.
“May I help you?”
I turned to see a Barbie-esque girl who looked like she was fresh from a Sports Illustrated photo shoot. An auburn ponytail sprouted from the top of her head and bobbed across her back between her narrow shoulders. She wore purple and black yoga pants and a matching tank that hugged her double D breasts.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” I turned toward the door.
“No. Wait!”
I felt her hand on my right shoulder and turned around.
“Please, don’t go. I know coming to a gym can be intimidating. I know it takes a lot of courage to walk through that door. Three years ago, I was a hundred pounds heavier.”
My eyes widened as they involuntarily scanned her size-six body.
She smiled. “I know, right? It’s hard to imagine. But I have proof.” She nodded toward a row of cubicles on the right. “Want to see?”
I couldn’t imagine the twentysomething standing in front of me weighing a hundred pounds more. I guess my curiosity got the better of me and I followed her to the last cubicle. Crayon drawings sporting stick figures with big heads and three fingers were taped to the walls. I smiled, thinking of the plastic bins stuffed full of Tory and David’s artwork in the basement. “Lovely drawings.”
She flashed a smile. “Thanks. My daughter, Daisy, loves to draw.”
She opened her middle desk drawer, pulled out a photo and handed it to me. “This was me three years ago. By the way, I don’t think I introduced myself. I’m Renee.”
I shook her hand and took the photo. I could tell it was Renee – same beautiful face only this one was accompanied by a double chin and chubby cheeks. I looked at her, then at the photo, then at her again.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” she said.
I nodded, handing the photo back to her. “Congratulations! You look fabulous.”
She opened the desk drawer and slid the photo inside. “And you can, too!”
I glanced down at my dowdy self. “Do you really think so?”
“Please, have a seat. Let’s talk.”
I learned Renee was thirty-three and, after a bitter divorce brought about by her husband’s affair, had decided to change her life. Her story sounded all too familiar.
“After the divorce, I finished my college degree. I was only a few credits shy of earning that piece of paper but just never seemed to have the time to tackle classes and homework.”
“What did you study?”
“Communications. I work for a non-profit. Derrick and I have joint custody of Daisy so on the days she’s with him, I work here. The free gym membership is nice, and I’ve been studying to become a personal trainer. In fact, I take my test next week.”
I shifted in my seat. “Congratulations!”
“So, are you ready?”
I furrowed my brow. “Uh, for what?”
“To reinvent yourself!”
I bit my lower lip. “I’m not sure I could ever look like you.”
“It’s not about looking like me. It’s about you becoming healthier, taking charge of your life, your destiny.”
I glanced down at my middle and the muffin top protruding over my waistline. I’d come to hate that mound of fat more than anything. Once, I had a dream in which I took a pill and all the fat melted away. When I woke up and felt my stomach, I realized it was just a dream. The jiggly mound was still there, laughing at me.
I know weight gain isn’t uncommon for someone my age, but I needed to stop using that as an excuse. I thought about my list. If I wanted to run a marathon, I had to start somewhere. I sighed. “To be honest, I’m a bit scared.”
Renee sat up straighter. “Don’t be. It’s not going to be easy. Nothing great ever is. But if you want to get healthier…”
I interrupted her. “I want to run a marathon.”
Renee’s eyes widened. “Well, okay, then. If you want to run a marathon, you have to start somewhere. You don’t start running twenty-six miles in the first week.”
I laughed. “Probably never.”
Renee shook her finger. “Now, now, now. No negativity.”
I winced. “Sorry.”
“No worries. I remember when I first started coming here, I couldn’t do much and I felt like everyone was watching me.”
I nodded. “How often did you work out?”
“Three times a week at first, but eventually I tried to do at least something every day. Why don’t I show you around?”
I followed Renee to the main area. The treadmills and elliptical trainers on the second floor loft stood like sentinels watching over the rows of weight machines below. To the right of the sea of machines were racket ball courts with glass walls and a gym where Renee explained they held classes. To the left of the machines was a room for indoor cycling and beyond that a pool. The facility also contained a full basketball court.
“Do you ever have any trouble getting a machine when you come?” I asked.
“Not really. Obviously late afternoon, right after work, is busy, but never so busy I can’t find an empty treadmill or elliptical. As you can see, we have a lot of equipment.”
I followed Renee as she showed me the locker room, which contained a sauna and whirlpool and was conveniently connected to the swimming pool.
By the time we’d finished the tour I was sold. I at least had to try.
“Let’s go over the paperwork and get you started,” Renee said.
I followed her back to her cubicle and thirty minutes later walked out with a plastic membership card bearing my name.
My cell phone rang. It was Tory.
“Hi, sweetie! How’s the studying going?”
“Not bad. Sorry for not calling last night, but I was at the library with a group from my marketing class finishing our final project.”
“Did you finish it?”
“Yes, finally.”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Definitely.”
I opened my car and climbed inside. “Is everything set for graduation?”
Tory