Mummy Told Me Not to Tell: The true story of a troubled boy with a dark secret. Cathy Glass
foster carers all too regularly.
Although I had written up my daily log notes the night before, detailing Reece’s first day with us, I had been too tired to look at the placement forms. Now I wondered if they contained any more information on Reece’s background that I should be aware of. Settling Reece at the table with the two slices of toast and jam he had asked for, I quickly went into the front room, unlocked my desk and took out the placement forms; then I returned to sit opposite him at the table. I read as Reece ate, eating being another activity that appeared to keep him quiet for its duration.
As I turned the pages of the placement forms, I saw there was nothing on his background beyond what I already knew, apart from Reece’s parents’ address, which came as something of a surprise. His parents lived in a flat on an estate no more than half a mile away. I hoped the social services had noted this, for it was a little too close for comfort, given that his parents wouldn’t be told our address. It was quite possible that we used the same high-street shops, which meant there was a risk of us bumping into each other. Not a problem if the child’s parents were cooperating with the social services, and were allowed to know where the child was, but clearly that wasn’t the case with Reece. I’d had experience of ‘impromptu’ contact before — in the shops or outside the school gates – and it’s a difficult and embarrassing situation for all, not to mention intimidating if the parents are angry and blame the foster carer. I would mention my concerns and Reece’s attitude to the girls to Jill when she phoned again — not that I thought for one moment the social services would move Reece because of where his parents lived, but it was something they needed to be aware of, if they weren’t already.
I returned the placement forms to my desk as Reece finished his breakfast. Although he had been focused and concentrating while eating, as soon as he’d finished he was out of his seat, zooming around and streaking jammy fingers along the walls.
‘Come on, Reece,’ I said. ‘We’ll give you a wash and do your teeth; then we’re going out in the car.’
The mention of the car seemed to please him, because he ran straight up the stairs and into the bathroom, with his arms outstretched and yelping at the top of his voice. I showed him how to squirt toothpaste on to his toothbrush and watched as he made a good attempt at brushing his teeth; then I ran warm water into the sink and, wringing out his face flannel, helped him to wash his face. I asked him if he needed the toilet before we went out, and he said he didn’t. I took his hand and we went downstairs and into the hall, where I passed him his coat and shoes. He made a good attempt at putting them on and I was pleased he hadn’t just stood there helplessly as he had done the night before – this was already a small improvement and I praised him immensely.
I assumed Jill would be phoning at some point during the day, so before going out I switched on the answer-phone and dropped my mobile in my handbag. It took me some while to settle Reece on the booster seat under his belt in the rear of the car; he didn’t appear familiar with the procedure, which was surprising given that yesterday he’d said he was used to being in a car rather than walking. First he wanted to ride in the front passenger seat, which I explained wasn’t legal at his age; then he didn’t want to sit on the booster seat, which I explained was a legal requirement. I secured his seat-belt over his shoulder, but he kept tucking it under his arm, which would have not only rendered it useless in an accident but also badly hurt his stomach if it had suddenly tightened.
Fifteen minutes later I reversed out of the drive with Reece making brumm-brumm noises at the top of his voice. I stood it for as long I could, for I realized he was only doing what a lot of boys do, imitating the car engine noise, but very loudly.
Then I said, ‘Reece, I need you to be quiet in the car so I can concentrate on driving.’
‘Brummmm! Brummmm!’ he yelled, louder.
‘Would you like some music on?’ I asked. ‘I have a sing-a-long CD here.’ Although Reece’s singing would doubtless break the sound barrier (everything he did was at such a volume) it would be preferable to the exploding sound of his brumms, which were making me jump each and every time they erupted.
‘Brummm! Brummm!’ Reece yelled, his lips trembling with the vibration of the brummm. I inserted the CD in the hope he might join in, but five minutes later, when the brummms had increased in volume and intensity and were drowning out the sound of ‘The Wheels On The Bus’, I switched it off again.
‘Reece, you will have to try and sit quietly,’ I said. ‘I can’t concentrate on driving when there is a lot of noise.’
‘Bruummm! Bruumm!’ Then, ‘Yeoooo crunch crunch,’ which I wasn’t sure represented a car, a plane or even a shark attack, but whatever it was the noise was deafening. Then he started kicking the back of the passenger seat.
I indicated, and drew into the kerb. Putting the car into neutral and the handbrake on, I turned in my seat to look at Reece. He was now yelping and kicking the seat in a frenzy.
‘Reece!’ I said. ‘Reece, listen to me.’
He didn’t.
‘Reece, I need you to be quiet and sit still.’ I tried again, raising my voice so it could be heard over the relentless yelps. ‘Reece, quiet, and please stop kicking that seat. We don’t kick anything other than footballs.’
He didn’t stop, so I switched off the engine, got out and went round to the pavement and opened his door.
‘Reece,’ I said firmly. ‘Sit still. Now, please!’ I placed my hand lightly on his legs to quell the kicking. ‘Sit still and be quiet. Then we can go to the supermarket and you can push the trolley.’
He continued with the yelping and kicking for another few seconds; then suddenly he stopped the noise and became still.
‘Can I?’ he said, looking at me suspiciously. ‘Can I push the trolley?’
‘Yes,’ I said, smiling. ‘Would you like to help?’
He nodded furiously, his head bobbing up and down. All Reece’s movements were accentuated when he was in a hyperactive state. ‘I’ve never pushed a trolley before,’ he said. ‘Can I really push it?’
I smiled sadly. The poor kid: while he had been party to goodness knows what in the adult world at home he had missed out on the simple childhood pleasure of pushing a supermarket trolley and helping mum to shop.
‘All right, Reece, now listen to me,’ I said, looking at him carefully. ‘You can push the trolley as long as you sit quietly while I drive to the supermarket. OK?’ It wasn’t bribery, just positive reward for good behaviour, and he nodded furiously. I returned to the driver’s seat and drove to the supermarket at the edge of town with no more than a ‘wow’ when I had to brake quickly as the car in front suddenly pulled into the kerb without signalling. And I thought that pushing the trolley was going to be another strategy for encouraging Reece’s good behaviour, so that together with reading a lot of books I was also going to be doing a lot of shopping, which was fine because we consumed a lot of food.
Reece pushed the trolley remarkably well, controlling the speed to an acceptable 5mph, once I’d explained there were elderly people in the store who couldn’t get out of the way in time if he went any faster or tried to run them over. Reece’s biggest problem in the supermarket was curtailing his enthusiasm. I had asked him, as I ask all foster children, to choose some of his favourite food. We already had Chicken Dippers, tinned spaghetti hoops and Wall’s sausages in the trolley in abundance, but would also have had, had I not returned them, five cartons of chocolate ice-cream (I kept one), six packets of Jammie Dodger biscuits (I kept two) and twelve tubes of brightly coloured sweets (I put them all back because of the additives and replaced them with milk chocolate bars). I praised Reece for the way he steered the trolley and helped me, and he glowed from achieving the task successfully. He was also pretty patient at the checkout, considering the length of the queue, and I only had to remind him a couple of times not to shunt the trolley into the back of the man in front.
Once it was our turn at the checkout Reece’s enthusiasm for shifting all the food from the trolley on