Self Esteem Bible: Build Your Confidence Day by Day. Gael Lindenfield
looks at the world of work and provides practical advice to people who are unhappy or unappreciated in their employment, to those looking for a new job, and to those who simply want to improve their work performance by becoming more confident and assertive.
I hope you find this self-esteem-building work as empowering and rewarding as I, and many thousands of others, have done. Good luck!
1 Transform your home into a health farm for a weekend
Fill your fridge with nutritious luxury treats. Include one giant bowl of exotic fresh fruit salad and another of sticks of fresh vegetables. Buy or borrow a variety of exercise, dance, martial arts, Pilates and yoga videos. Plan a programme to watch and work through these. Book yourself onto some new outdoor activity that you have been wanting to try (such as rowing, tennis or sailing) – preferably including a lesson so that you will be challenged mentally as well as physically. Buy some aromatherapy oils to use with an oil burner or to add to your bath. Oils such as camomile, sage, frankincense, neroli and lavender are wonderful for relaxation, while basil, eucalyptus, peppermint, pine and rosemary will help to refresh and energize you. Treat yourself to an extravagant extra such as a seaweed scrub to draw out toxins, or simply give yourself a massage using moisturizing lotion with a few drops of essential oil added. Select some CDs for relaxation sessions and make sure you have lots of large fluffy towels and comfortable clothing washed and ready to wear.
Perhaps you don’t enjoy the gym or that early morning run you never have the time to do. Don’t give in – you deserve and need a fit body. Find alternatives. Booking in for a regular class is a good way of committing. Try taking your own music, or a language course or motivational tape, to listen to during your workout at the gym. Alternatively, team up with a friend or colleague you never see enough, and make a weekly date for a walk and talk. Until the habit sticks, reward yourself each time you complete an exercise routine. Your aim is to programme your brain to associate exercise with pleasure instead of pain.
3 Take de-stressing action before you become stressed
Release tension from your body by doing a few quick stretches and gentle head rolls at least every hour. Concentrate on the muscles you know your particular work or lifestyle strains. At the very least, clench your fingers and toes and then gently release them several times.
4 Use meditation to clear your mind at least once a day
Sit or lie in a comfortable supported position. Release tension from your face and head by tightening and releasing your muscles in that region a few times. Close your eyes and focus your whole awareness on your breathing. Visualize your breath as it enters and leaves your body. Continue doing this for a minute or so.
While still following your breathing, centre your attention either on your heart or at a point inside your head in the direct line of the central point between your eyes (where your brain controls your ‘fight or flight’ response). In time to your breathing, in your mind start saying a mantra. This is a word or short phrase of your choosing. (For example, ‘calm’, ‘at peace’ or ‘I am being’.) Keep repeating your mantra for as long a time as you can spare. When a thought enters your mind, gently refocus your attention on the meditation point you have chosen and continue saying your mantra in time to your breathing.
5 Cut down your intake of stimulants and depressants
Limit yourself to one caffeine drink a day, cut down on the alcohol and give up cigarettes. Experiment with healthier alternatives until your palate begins to crave them. You’ll be surprised at how quickly this can happen. (I would never have believed I could teach myself to enjoy camomile tea – my stomach used to turn at its very smell!)
6 Aim for quality sleep, not just the proverbial eight hours
Avoid watching action thrillers and late-night news broadcasts. Instead, feed your mind with peaceful and positive images. Use the last hour of the day to watch or read uplifting and calming programmes or stories. Before going to bed, de-stress your body with a candle-lit warm bath and an all-over self-massage with sandalwood or lavender lotion.
Ensure your bedroom is well aired, as a good supply of oxygen is necessary for body repair work. If you live in a polluted area, treat yourself to an air purifier for your bedroom. Invest in heavy curtains or blackout blinds. The sleep inducing hormone melatonin starts taking effect when darkness descends. Use earplugs or very quiet rhythmic music to block out any distracting noise.
7 Clear your kitchen of temptation
A short-term costly clean up of the contents of your cupboard and fridge will pay long-term dividends to your health. Have the courage to waste some food you know you shouldn’t eat.
It’s good for your heart and your brain. The left – right action stimulates the connections between the brain’s two hemispheres. You only need to march on the spot for a minute or two to feel an instant uplift.
Fun encourages healing and builds up resistance to disease. This happens because laughter counters the effects of physical stress and the endorphins that it produces boost the immune system.
10 Buy or pick yourself fresh flowers once a week
Don’t wait for someone else to do you this honour or wait for an excuse to give some to your beloved. You deserve to feast on the uplifting and luxurious qualities of natural beauty – all day and every day. Even one or two blooms will do the trick if a bunch is not possible.
This must be one of the most enticing ways to exercise. Freeing up your body as you move to music – whether in public or the privacy of your home – is an enjoyable, liberating and energizing experience.
12 Timetable 45 minutes of deep relaxation into every week
This is the kind of relaxation that makes you feel as though you’re detached from your body and floating in the air. When